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Sunday, January 18, 2015

I COULD HAVE BEEN CHARLIE


The horrible events in Paris and the upcoming eighth anniversary of the original Desdinova the Super Villain of the Ozarks blog, made me ponder a serious question: Could an attack like the one at Charlie Hebdo happen here in the United States of America? Yes, as a matter of fact, it could have happened to me several times.

The original blog was a satirical jabs at what was going on in the news, with a few real news pieces hear and there. Much of the content was poking fun at the talk radio industry and a very popular talk radio show host here in Springfield, Missouri. At that time, poking fun at this guy was the equivalent of poking fun of the prophet Mohammed. His listeners were radical fanatics. Before I started the blog, I enraged his fans when the Springfield News Leader ran a article about his marathon broadcast during the ice storm with a photo of him, his wife and his dog. I posted a comment over on Ron Davis' Chatter blog about the photo, something like "Which one is his wife and which one is his dog?" I was the most hated man in Springfield, Missouri, because he supposedly cried about it on-air during his show. Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Let me explain that the persona of Desdinova started because this talk radio show host would go on attack people on Chatter and the Missouri Radio Message Board. He would say crude and disrespectful things about TV news personalities and other radio stations. Needless to say, I never felt one bit of remorse poking fun at this guy and trying to knock him off of the pedestal he had place himself upon.   

Let me say this from experience, talk radio personalities are some of the scummiest people in the world. They are heartless, mean-spirited jerks. Like the playground bully, they will call you names, insult you, and want to fight you, but when you retaliate and get the best of them, they cry and whine like a infant with a wet diaper. They then start their, "They are out to get me" routine. This causes their nitwit fans to feel sorry for them and rally to show their support. This guy was a master at that game. He had his audience believing that not only was I a threat to his well-being, but his life was threatened by "devil worshipers" and "anti-war activist."

From the moment I began the blog, the fans of this talk show host were leaving hateful and threatening messages on the blog. Several called for my death. There were also several blogs that sprang up to champion this talk radio show host and slam me. These bloggers were claiming I was "unethical" and "cowardly" because I didn't have "my real name" or "home address" on my blog. Really? Put my name and home address on my blog, so every hot-headed psychopath in Springfield and the world could see it? I wasn't stupid. I was a student at SMSU during the Normal Heart uproar when students had their tires slashed on their cars and one student had his home burned to the ground. Springfield gets violent with people who have a different opinion than theirs, especially when there is a charismatic figure agitating them.

I should also bring up here that those nasty comments by this guy left on Chatter and Missouri Radio Message Board were usually under the name "The Talk Radio Guy." So, he used an alias too, but because I was making him look like the fool that he really was, he and his sycophantic followers portrayed me out to be the bad guy (or super-villain). He was trashing local media right and left once on one of these sight, when I asked him (not knowing who he was) "What do you like - that new guy on K*** named John Jacob Jinglehimerschmit?"  At the time I didn't know his name, only that he used his first and middle names. The news director at the radio station I worked at recognized this guy as a someone, who had been fired from a radio station in Jefferson City, where he had previously worked. There this radio host used his real name and, oddly enough, his real name sounded like Jinglehimerschmitt. This "Talk Radio Guy" informed me of the name of the host at our competing radio station and then said that "I should have more respect for a talented broadcaster and true conservative." Note this was after he had slammed some of my co-workers and several TV news people.

So I found a way to needle him, that used to cause him to lash out at me on these message boards. I would refer to him using his current on-air name, but between the middle and last name I would add 'John Jacob Jinglehimerschmitt' and several great vocalise song titles from the 50s and 60s, such as "Doo Wah Diddy Diddy Do," "Rama Lama Ding Dong," "Papa Ooo-Mow-Mow" and others. I even added the 70s McDonald's Big Mac jingle to his name. He and his followers didn't like it, but everyone else thought it was funny.

Most of what I said was so harmless, so goofy and so outrageous, that I still can't believe anyone was upset about it. One thing that upset this talk radio host and his fans was jokes I made about "when I marry Paris Hilton." This guy had a deep and disturbing hatred for celebrities (which bothered me because I consider myself one), especially female celebrities...and especially Paris Hilton. I have been told by one person, who worked at that radio station, that this host would get violently angry when he read my blog. They knew I had mentioned Paris Hilton, because he would have a major meltdown in his office. He once screamed "HOW CAN HE SAY PARIS HILTON IS BETTER LOOKING THAN SARAH PALIN?," then he threw or kicked his waste basket across the room. To me, that sounds like someone with serious mental issues.

Most of the time what made this guy and his fans upset was basically that I made a snarky post that was the opposite of what he had said on his show that morning. Honestly, that was all I had to do to make people mad. If he said something like, "I think we should publicly execute anyone who drinks Diet Pepsi," I would say something on my blog like "When I the take over the world, I will force everyone to drink Diet Pepsi. If they resist, they WILL DIE! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" They next day, he would be on his radio show complaining that an anonymous blogger was a "threat to the him" and "the community at large" because of my "anti-American opinions" (a nervy accusation to make about me since he was a Canadian - BTW I have nothing against Canadians). All I did was reverse the crazy things he said.

As I mentioned before, the whole Desdinova persona was a combination of several pop culture villains. I thought everyone spent Saturday morning watching cartoon where a villain bragged about what he would do when he "ruled the world." Once I said in a post that "everyone will bow to me, Desdinova the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" One of this guys little minions posted on my blog, "I will not bow to you. I will only serve the Lord Jesus Christ." That made me fell like dirt. Also the fact this person didn't want me to rule the world hurt my self-esteem. 

I was not a listener to his show, but I knew what he did, because he would post clips from his show on his radio station's website. Also our boss forced our news director to tape his show and give a report on what topics were discussed on that his show. I recently found a file of these reports at work and found that our news director noted "He had a rant about the 'masked anonymous blogger' ridiculing him."

You would think people in the media industry would find this funny, since this guy like to attack them. The News Leader editorial board was against "anonymous bloggers" and one columnist especially didn't like me because they were a big fan of this talk radio show host (also I had made light of one of her columns about how she didn't like a local urban legend being turned into a horror film). Also a family member, who worked at the time for another radio station cluster in town, mentioned me for an open position and was told I was banned from working there, because they thought my satirical website poking fun of a rival radio station's personality was "unethical" and "unprofessional."

Even people I worked with didn't support me. Two salesmen at the radio station cluster I worked for had a big man crush on this host and his radio station. They kept telling me that I had "no right to make fun of him" and they were going to reveal my identity to him. With co-workers like that, who needs enemies.

I will say that I had more supporters among the local TV news people and some of the people who had to work at the radio station with this talk radio host. I've heard some scary story about this guy threatening people and trying to fight people. He almost punched a legendary broadcaster in this community, when he visited the radio station, because he thought this man was Desdinova (which was the subject of the cartoon above).  Also heard a funny story about how this guy sent around a memo at the radio station saying he didn't want "homosexuals using the same bathroom as him" after finding a pink toothbrush in the men's room.

This guy may have jumped the shark when he claimed the mayor and other Springfield official were covering up the fact that a gang of devil worshipers were living in tunnels under Park Central Square in Springfield. That was what was so great about the old blog, because as David Letterman would say, "The comedy just writes itself." I immediately began posting about "my secret laboratory and hideout below the city at 666 Park Central Square."

Do I still receive death threats today? No. I've not received a threatening message in several years. One reason is, of course, I started a new blog that focused on retro pop culture and abstained from too much satire of current events. Also, that talk radio show host is no longer on the air. When he was fired from the radio station he worked for, I was like David Frye when President Nixon resigned and LBJ died or Yakoff Schmirnoff when the Iron Curtain fell.

The bloggers that were against me all disappeared around the same time. I guess without a hero to stand up for, they decided there was no point in going on. They may have moved to Facebook, but  who would want to "friend" them. One blogger made one post about me and that was it. He was especially upset that I said I wanted to ban country music. I only found the blog after I Googled the name of the blog. One blogger once posted a picture of Stalin on his website and linked it to my blog.
 
I should also point out that some of the worst death threats I got had nothing to do with this talk radio show host. It was about the case in St. Louis where a mother created a My Space site to attack her daughter's classmate, causing the girl to commit suicide. After that I stopped allowing comments on my blog. After that, a talk radio show host who worked for my company wanted me to reopen the comments so he could "debate me on the issues." I said to him, "Why do you want to debate the opinions of a guy, who wears a mask and claims to live under the city square with an army of robots and a death ray?" I honestly don't think he understood how stupid he and those others looked taking me so serious. 

Through all of this craziness, I never did fear for my life, because very few people knew who Desdinova really was. A former classmate from Lebanon tried to out me on another website, but I had that removed (kind of nervy for a guy named Bubba).

My enemies might claim to be "Standing Up For What Is Right," but as the killers of the Charlie Hebdo staff found out, killing is always against the law. It is even wrong to kill the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!!Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!   

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

WOMEN: STOP MARRYING JERKS!!!

ARTIST RENDERING OF THE AVERAGE DOUCHE BAG
I stopped update this blog on a regular basis to concentrate on the retro blog, because my opinions were causing problems with my work. I've supposedly been blacklisted by one company in Springfield and maybe a few others around the area that I don't know about. However, I feel this is a topic that needs attention. The problem is women dating, marrying and reproducing with jerks, douche bags and knuckle dragging A-holes (pictured above).

What made me want to write this post? I was eating dinner at Qdoba a few nights ago, when one of these guys came in. Like the illustration above, he had a buzz cut and was wearing Razor sunglasses. He also had three kids with him but no wife. This guy yelled at these kids and treated them like they were prisoners in a work yard. The bad part is these kids were not doing anything wrong. He was yelling stuff like, "Don't look at people!," "Don't walk so fast!," "Don't walk so slow!," and "Don't breath to loud!"

Later, when his four year old son began crying, he smacked the kid upside the head and screamed at him "MEN DON'T CRY." The only break his kids got from his relentless bullying was when he would walk out to his gigantic, blue, G-M-C pickup truck with tractor-size tires and talk on his phone. I'm sure if I saw his truck's bumper, it is probably covered in tea party and anti-Obama bumper stickers. He would come back in and tell his kids, "I am watching you through the window and if I see any misbehaving I will spank you. DO YOU HEAR ME?"

To make things more infuriating, some old white woman told him that she "wanted to compliment him on the fine job he was doing keep your children disciplined." AAARRRGGGGH!!! DON'T ENCOURAGE THIS JERK, LADY!!!

This post is a message to women everywhere, but especially to women here in the Ozarks: STOP MARRYING AND REPRODUCING WITH GUYS LIKE THIS!!! What do women see in guys like this?  I'm 45 years old and can't get a date to save my life, yet guys like this are married and, usually, have three or four girlfriends on the side. These guys also are not above backhanding their girlfriends or wives like Bjorn Borg would a Wilson #3 tennis ball. Matter of fact, these are the guys you see on the local news that shake babies and throw them against the wall.

Here are some signs to look for that the guy you are interested in is a jerk or douche bag of this nature.
  1. He listens to talk radio and waxes nostalgic for Vincent David Jericho and Chuck Booms.
  2. When asked about music, he says the Beatles, Nirvana and Bob Dylan are overrated, then admits he has all of Ted Nugent's CDs.
  3. Spends much of his free time going on websites and trashing Lady Gaga and Katy Perry. He also likes to slam Brad Pitt on the KY-3 Facebook site.
  4. Speaking of Facebook, he frequently shares those stupid Grumpy Cat memes.
  5. The characters in teen movies that he identifies with are:
    DOUGLAS NEDEMEYER
THE OGRE
Ladies, take my advice, you should never fall in love with a guy like this. There are too many of them out their. You would be better off with a charming, funny guy like me.

Of course, this is the kind of opinion that has made me the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

 



Friday, November 22, 2013

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Teens Are Turning Away from Facebook Because Tumblr Is Real, and Parent-Free - The Atlantic Wire

Teens Are Turning Away from Facebook Because Tumblr Is Real, and Parent-Free - J.K. Trotter - The Atlantic Wire

I wanted to post this article because I concur with the teenagers. As many of you who have read this blog know, I have never liked Facebook. I loved MySpace, because the people on it were younger and less serious. If Facebook, like radio, doesn't do something to bring young people back, it will lose it's place as the top social network.

Here are some of my past rants about Facebook:

I'm Too Cool For Facebook
Stupidest Thing Posted on Facebook
I Remember You From School

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