Remember twenty years ago, when William
Shatner hosted
Saturday Night Live and was in a sketch where he told a group of
Trekkies at a convention to "Get a Life?" I feel it is time for Andy Griffith to tell some of the fans of his show the same thing. Especially the ones here in the Ozarks.
They have conniptions every when
KYTV moves the reruns from noon. Also, I'm tired of hearing people say "I wish Springfield was more like
Mayberry" or "How can we make Springfield more like
Mayberry?" or "Springfield is a small town just like
Mayberry." Let me explain something to you folks:
MAYBERRY IS NOT A REAL TOWN AND SPRINGFIELD IS FAR FROM EVER BEING LIKE IT!
I find it interesting that many of these same people look down their noses at fans of
Star Trek,
Doctor Who or
Dark Shadows, but are obsessive about returning to
Mayberry for a visit with Andy, Barney and Aunt Bee. The sad part is these people want to change things so the world is more like
Mayberry. They want to do away with cell phones, home computers, rap music and anything that wasn't mentioned or seen on
the Andy Griffith Show or
Mayberry R.F.D.
Now, before you start forming the wrong idea about me, let me say this,
I like the Andy Griffith Show. I feel it is one of the best written sitcoms of all time. I have the utmost respect for Andy Griffith, Ron Howard, Don
Knotts and the others because they were truly talented actors. Which brings me to my other gripe about these Andy of
Mayberry fans: THEY HAVE NO TASTE IN WHICH EPISODES ARE THEIR FAVORITE! THEY ALWAYS PICK THE ONES THAT SUCK (
IMHOP)! My favorite episode is entitled the "Loaded Goat," a goat eats a highway crews dynamite and scares everyone except Otis. I also like any episode involving the Darlings and Ernest T. Bass. Those make me laugh, just like
Family Guy and
the Simpsons.
However, these obsessive fans here in the Ozarks always say they like the episode where Andy takes the spoiled kid's bicycle away. It seems they always pick episodes where
Oppie gets punished. When these Andy fans tell me this, I tell them that I like the
"It's a Good Life" episode of the Twilight Zone. It tell them that is the way my childhood SHOULD have been. I could have banished half of Lebanon, MO, to the cornfield and turned the other half into jack-in-the-boxes.
I guess that is why I don't understand the bizarre obsession with the
Andy Griffith Show and
Mayberry. As a song that was popular when I was in country radio (against my will) said "I grew up in a
Mayberry kind of town." Actually, I felt like more like Oliver Douglas on
Green Acres, I was the only sane, intelligent person in Lebanon, but that is just me. To me
Star Trek,
Doctor Who and
Dark Shadows are a fun escape (although, like
DS, I have some monsters and bloodsuckers in my family). I don't see them as a pattern for my life. Some of this Andy of
Mayberry worship stuff has come from the mega-churches. They watch the reruns together and discuss the message. Strange, where I go to church we use the New Testament.
I was really hoping
this video Ron Howard made a few months ago would help break these people of their obsession. I guess Andy is going to have to give these folks a
Shatner speech. He can use Barney's favorite phrase, "NIP IT IN THE BUD!"