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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I SURVIVED THE 1976 SWINE FLU OUTBREAK & THE SHOT


This talk about Swine Flu reminds me of my childhood. In the first grade, there was a case of Swine Flu. The government made everyone take Swine Flu shots. As you can read in this article by Paul Mickle, the shots may have done more harm than good. Several people died from taking the immunization, where as one person died of Swine Flu. It is believed the government may have overreacted. NPR reports that what happened in 1976 may be avoided because of better medicine and calmer nerves.

However, my mother to this day says the Swine Flu shot was the best thing for me. I had asthma and allergies. That year was my healthiest year. I was in the first grade at Mark Twain Elementary School in Lebanon, MO. My teacher was Miss Florence Keller, who told my mother that I was a borderline genius. After that year, everyone has insisted I'm an idiot. I'll get back at them when I RULE THE WORLD. Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

I HATE THAT "CHICKEN FRIED" SONG


This is something I have to say, because it is a major problem in the Springfield community that must be addressed. This should be off concern to many patrons of local restaurants with juke boxes. It is people who insist on playing that stupid "Chicken Fried" by the Zac Brown Band. This has to be ONE OF THE WORST SONGS EVER RECORDED, yet there is a group of people in this town that insist on playing this song on the juke box the minute they walk in an establishment. It seems to be the same people every time. They are either a gang of rednecks (no surprise), a group of plus-sized women in their twenties and, the most shocking of all, medical workers (or their folks who like to wear scrubs).

See when I go out to enjoy myself. I may be selfish but I like to hear music that makes me feel good. Some headbanging songs like "Action" by the Sweet, "Living After Midnight" by Judas Priest, "Anarchy for the U.K." the Sex Pistols, "Bark at the Moon" by Ozzy Osbourne or "The Boys Are Back In Town" by Thin Lizzy are great when you are knocking back a few cold beverages. I also will accept "I Kissed a Girl" or "If You Seek Amy," but NOT "THE CHICKEN FRIED" SONG! Let me also say I don't like to hear any "Cracklin Rosie" by Neil Diamond.
I don't understand the words to this song, but then again, I never understood the point of the lyrics of very many country songs when I was a dee-jay at a country station in Lebanon. Most of them are stupid. About the only songs I liked when I was at that country station was "Friends In Low Places," "Seminole Wind" and "Goodbye Earl." We didn't play any of these because the president of one of the local banks didn't like them. Since he was an advertiser we had to play what he wanted (Bankers make the worst advertisers because they try to boss the radio stations around - I hope President Obama does something to punish these capitalist goons).

I feel this "Chicken Fried" song needs to be banned from all juke boxes in Springfield. I'm calling on Mayor Jim O'Neal and city council to get behind this. I also feel that this should be addressed by the Highway Patrol because I CONSIDER ANYONE WHO PLAYS THAT "CHICKEN FRIED" SONG ON A JUKE BOX A DOMESTIC TERRORIST!

I realize will not be a popular opinion to hold, but that is what makes me SUPER VILLAIN OF THE OZARKS!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Spector Found Guilty of Murder and Bad Hair


After six years, 60's record producer Phil Spector was found guilty Monday of the murder of actress Lana Clarkson. Here is the CNN report along with the creepiest photo of Spector yet (mugshot?). It was pointed out during the trial that Spector had "a history of playing Russian Roulette with women."

He was not charged with excessive bad hairdos (like the one above from the 70s) nor, what I believe is his worst crime, producing the Righteous Brothers "Unchained Melody." I'm sorry that song and "Sweet Home Alabama" are the most overplayed songs on radio.

Here is an earlier piece from the first trial for Spector.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

DOES FACEBOOK ONLY WANT RIGHT-WINGERS?

I finally decided to get a Facebook account even though I'm still not crazy about it. I believe some of my fears about it may be right - it is a nest of conservatives and people who didn't like me in high school. I ought to report these people to MIAC.

People are always wanting you to join some conservative cause which, of course, I'm not interested in. Plus there are these personality quizzes, which are usually harmless stuff like "Which Brady Bunch Character Are You" (I hope I'm Vincent Price living in a cave in Hawaii or the Guy Who Took Marcia's Virginity).

One of the quizzes is called The Political Meter. The questions are poorly written with bad multiple choice answers that seems to be slanted against anyone to the left of Rush Limbaugh. They are actually sound like some bad stereotype of a progressive thinker perpetuated on local radio but Chucky Booms or Vincent David Jericho.

I took this quiz and this was what it said: "Your trendy bleeding heart beliefs may need some work. Try watching the O'Reilly factor and listening to right wing programs to balance your bombardment of liberal media. You may learn something about the country and yourself. "

Excuse the living Hell out me! I WILL NOT CHANGE MY BELIEFS SO I CAN FIT IN WITH A BUNCH OF BORING PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK! I'LL GO BACK TO MYSPACE WHERE THE COOL PEOPLE ARE!

I think Facebook needs to stop some of this right-wing recruitment garbage and be more like MySpace, with loud music players on every page and photos of drunk girls. Opinions like these make me the SUPER VILLAIN OF THE OZARKS!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

15 YEARS AGO RADIO DIED WITH KURT COBAIN


It has been fifteen years since the talented frontman of Nirvana Kurt Cobain took his life. CNN has a story on how his music is still touching young people. Pretty good considering radio ingnored Nirvana when they first burst on the scene. If you look at Billboards Airplay charts from that time, "Smells Like Teen Spirit" was around 63, while sales had it number one.

Radio at the time was pushing light AC, country and talk as the hot formats. CHR and AOR were dying out. Both formats were ignoring Nirvana, even though they fit them perfectly. To make matters worst, most cities didn't have "alternative rock" or "modern rock" stations at the time. When Cobain took his life in 1994, the big star of the radio industry Rush Limbaugh made disrespectful comments about Cobain. Since that time radio has lost the younger generation.

So that is why I find it great that 15 years later Cobain is still remembered while radio fights for its existence. I also find it appropriate that Limbaugh got his large ass handed to him by a conservative Marine on his show. Here is a report from MSNBC's Countdown. I disagree with the guy on one thing though, I believe that Rush Limbaugh should be tortured for what he said 15 years ago about Kurt Cobain, but it is opinoins like that make me the SUPER VILLAIN OF THE OZARKS!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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