Thursday, January 28, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
- I'm seeing more and more of this kinky stupidity going on with in this community. Several people I know on Facebook joined a group called "My Parents Didn't Give Me Time Out."
- I stumbled upon a blog called "Chicks on the Right" by two women "who don't believe in time-outs." I think that is a veiled code for "we are professional dominatrixes."
- The MSU post-game show disintegrated into a Chuck Booms rant against parents that give their kid time outs. Chuck screamed into the microphone that he enjoyed being spanked. He thinks more parents need to spank their kids because he was spanked as a child. Why would anyone take parenting advice from this guy? He wears green shoelaces and talks about how much he likes Liza Minnelli.
- A few years ago, when Ron Davis was the host of Morning-line on KWTO was when the Domminc James death occured. Many of the idiots who called in to argue with Ron said the "gubermunt ain't got no rite to tayl me I kain't spank my kids." Ron didn't say that spanking should be banned. On the other hand, I DO THINK SPANKING YOUR KIDS SHOULD BE A CRIMINAL OFFENCE!
Let me explain why? My parents didn't spank me because a I was a pretty good kid. If my father or mother raised their voice at me, I broke down in tears. However, I went to a Republican/Sourthern Baptist run gulauge called Mark Twain Elementary in Lebanon, MO. The principal was Betty Chisim Moore, who walked the halls with an inch thick paddle. She also had an inch thick growth of hair on her legs. She looked like a refridgerator with legs and a face like those old women in the Far Side cartoons. The school had a lot of silly type rules like that could accidentally be broken by nice little kids like me. This was so she could have the pleasure of giving at least 50 spankings a day.
I'm sure though Betty Chisim Moore is in Hell giving topless lap dances to guys like Attila the Hun, Cauigula, Hitler and Richard Nixon. If you knew what Mrs. Moore looked like, this image would be enough to make you become a perfect Christian and avoid Hell at all cost.
This woman spanked me once. SHE WAS IN THE WRONG TO PUNISH DESDINOVA! I WAS SMARTER THAN HER AND ALL THE ADULTS IN LEBANON.
But I think this sick and twisted fetish these Ozarkers have with spanking needs to stop folks. Your kids will turn up warped like Chuck Booms instead of cool like me. Of course, opinions like this are why I'm the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
However, I thought lets take some time out and share a Coke, or at least at vintage Coke commercial from 40 years ago. It is part of "The Real Thing" campaign. This jingle is by the Fortunes, who performed most of "the Real Thing" jingles. They were the British pop band who had hits with "Here It Comes Again" and "You've Got You're Troubles." These jingles paved the way for their more upbeat hits of the 70s "Freedom Come, Freedom Go" and "Here Comes That Rainy Day Feeling Again."
Friday, January 1, 2010
Best songs (in no particular order):
Soak Up the Sun - Sheryl Crow
I Write Sins Not Tragedies - Panic at the Disco
Gives You Hell-The All-American Rejects
Clocks - Coldplay
I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry
Careless Whispers- Seether
Smooth - Santana
Golddigger- Kanya West
Crazy - Gnarls Barkley
Drops of Jupiter - Train
Over My Head (Cable Car) - The Fray
If You Seek Amy - Brittney Spears
The Remedy - Jason Mraz
Unwell - Matchbox 20
Hey Ya - Outkast
Hot In Here - Nelly
In the End - Linkin Park
Bent - Matchbox 20
Skater Boy - Avril Lavine
Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down
Promiscuous - Nelly Furtato and Timberland
Boom Boom Pow - Black Eyed Peas
Single Ladies Put a Ring on It - Beyonce
Laffy Taffy- D4L
And now the worst (In order of their awfulness):
1. Chicken Fried - Zac Brown Band
2. Have You Forgotten - Darryl Worely
3. I Can Only Imagine - MercyMe
4. Dance With My Father - Luther Vandross
5. Heaven Holds The Ones I Love - Nita Whitaker
6. To Where You Are - Josh Groban
7. Angel - Shaggy
8. Your Beautiful - James Blunt
9. Meet Virginia - Train
10. All Summer Long Kid Rock
Of course opinions like this are why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!