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CHECK OUT THE NEW ADVENTURES OF DESDINOVA THE SUPER VILLAIN OF THE OZARKS!!! It is a new blog is a retro pop culture blog. Click here to see it.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

J.D. SALINGER DIES AT 91


Above is the link to an article on the late, great J. D. Salinger - David Copperfield crap and all. Also check out this educational website about Salinger's greatest work, The Catcher In the Rye.

Excuse me, I have to go catch some little kids before they go over the edge of that cliff.

Monday, January 25, 2010

ADAM CARTWRIGHT & TV TRIVIA GUY PASS AWAY



CNN reports the death of actor Pernell Roberts, who played Adam Cartwright on Bonanza and Trapper John, M.D on the M*A*S*H spin off of the late 70s, has died at age 81.


The Los Angeles Times has announced the passing, last month, of author Bart Andrews. He wrote several TV trivia books as well as books about I Love Lucy. Andrews was 64.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

JOHNNY CARSON HAS BEEN GONE 5 YEARS TODAY


Former Tonight Show host Johnny Carson died five years ago today. He has spent the last week spinning in his grave after it was announced that NBC was firing Conan O'Brien and bringing back Jay Leno.

If Johnny was here today he would say, "I gave the world Art Fern and Carnac. Does NBC really think Leno having people run over a cardboard cutout of Al Gore with an electric car is funny? Now running over Spiro Agnew with a car would be great comedy. Leno knows nothing about comedy. Conan was much better. They should have listened to me in the first place and gave the show to Letterman. Everybody up here Heaven watches Dave for the Sarah Palin jokes alone. NBC has made a mistake this big since Supertrain."

THE OZARKS HAS A SPANKING FETISH


This post has been coming for a long time, but some things I noticed this week have brought this subject to my attention again. The Ozarks has a sick and twisted love of spanking.

Last summer, I was in a fast food place eating here in Springfield. At the table next to mine was about three couples, who were around my age. These were the people who were big into screaming "rules" at their kids like a Marine Corp D.I. "Don't run! Don't touch! Don't make noise! Don't breath!"

These people were talking rather loud, so everyone in the place could hear them, on how they "enjoyed" being spanked by their parents. These people were loudly letting the people in this fast food joint (and probably most of Springfield) that they against "time outs." This woman began breathing heavy while telling about how she enjoyed it. This one guy said "he liked the smell of his father's belt." He then became very giddy as he began telling about how many "lashes" he would get and his eyes began rolling back in his head. I left because I was afraid he was going to ejaculate on me and all the other people in the place.
  • I'm seeing more and more of this kinky stupidity going on with in this community. Several people I know on Facebook joined a group called "My Parents Didn't Give Me Time Out."

  • I stumbled upon a blog called "Chicks on the Right" by two women "who don't believe in time-outs." I think that is a veiled code for "we are professional dominatrixes."

  • The MSU post-game show disintegrated into a Chuck Booms rant against parents that give their kid time outs. Chuck screamed into the microphone that he enjoyed being spanked. He thinks more parents need to spank their kids because he was spanked as a child. Why would anyone take parenting advice from this guy? He wears green shoelaces and talks about how much he likes Liza Minnelli.

  • A few years ago, when Ron Davis was the host of Morning-line on KWTO was when the Domminc James death occured. Many of the idiots who called in to argue with Ron said the "gubermunt ain't got no rite to tayl me I kain't spank my kids." Ron didn't say that spanking should be banned. On the other hand, I DO THINK SPANKING YOUR KIDS SHOULD BE A CRIMINAL OFFENCE!

Let me explain why? My parents didn't spank me because a I was a pretty good kid. If my father or mother raised their voice at me, I broke down in tears. However, I went to a Republican/Sourthern Baptist run gulauge called Mark Twain Elementary in Lebanon, MO. The principal was Betty Chisim Moore, who walked the halls with an inch thick paddle. She also had an inch thick growth of hair on her legs. She looked like a refridgerator with legs and a face like those old women in the Far Side cartoons. The school had a lot of silly type rules like that could accidentally be broken by nice little kids like me. This was so she could have the pleasure of giving at least 50 spankings a day.

I'm sure though Betty Chisim Moore is in Hell giving topless lap dances to guys like Attila the Hun, Cauigula, Hitler and Richard Nixon. If you knew what Mrs. Moore looked like, this image would be enough to make you become a perfect Christian and avoid Hell at all cost.

This woman spanked me once. SHE WAS IN THE WRONG TO PUNISH DESDINOVA! I WAS SMARTER THAN HER AND ALL THE ADULTS IN LEBANON.

But I think this sick and twisted fetish these Ozarkers have with spanking needs to stop folks. Your kids will turn up warped like Chuck Booms instead of cool like me. Of course, opinions like this are why I'm the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

MY ADVICE FOR CONAN O'BRIEN


You've probably heard about the whole ordeal with NBC, Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien. MSN has a great article with clips on how the late night shows are making jokes about it (particularly David Letterman). Ad Age has an interesting article featuring the contents of the Conan's statement to the public as well as what was wrong with the Leno show and how this whole thing could be the biggest mistake NBC ever makes.

My advice for Conan O'Brien is to take a cue from the Smothers Brothers. After CBS pulled the plug on their show a week after renewing it for another season, they sued CBS for breach of contract and eventually won.

I'll admit, as many of you know, I'm a huge fan of David Letterman. However, I've been flipping back and forth between the Tonight Show with Conan and the Late Show with David Letterman. I've been a fan of Conan since he took over Late Night from Letterman. Of course, many Ozarkers say they want Jay Leno back on the Tonight Show. These people don't like either Letterman or Conan. To quote the character of Eros from Plan 9 From Outer Space, THEY ARE STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!!! Then again, some of these are the same people who want Vincent David Jericho back on the radio. Ozarkers don't have very good taste but, then again, opinions like this are why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

TEDDY PENDERGRASS DEAD AT 59

Here is the story from AP/MSNBC.

Here is one of his biggest hits after he left Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes.


Saturday, January 9, 2010

GUMBY CREATOR ART CLOKEY DEAD AT 88

'Gumby' creator Art Clokey, dead at 88, had an especially animated life

Posted using ShareThis

TIME OUT FOR A COKE

I haven't had time to post anything. If your are wondering, I've heard too many rumors about why KSGF fired Vincent David Jericho to go into them at the moment. Personally, I'd rather post the truth than conspiracy theories or sleazy innuendo (I know you are disappointed in me).

However, I thought lets take some time out and share a Coke, or at least at vintage Coke commercial from 40 years ago. It is part of "The Real Thing" campaign. This jingle is by the Fortunes, who performed most of "the Real Thing" jingles. They were the British pop band who had hits with "Here It Comes Again" and "You've Got You're Troubles." These jingles paved the way for their more upbeat hits of the 70s "Freedom Come, Freedom Go" and "Here Comes That Rainy Day Feeling Again."



Friday, January 1, 2010

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010!

HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR! The past decade has been rough, so let's hope and pray things get better. I'm sure they will be better when I rule the world!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

THE BEST AND WORST MUSIC OF THE OUGHTS

As you know I am an expert on what pop music. That is why I created a list of the best and worst of music of the Oughts (2000 - 2009).

Best songs (in no particular order):
Soak Up the Sun - Sheryl Crow
I Write Sins Not Tragedies - Panic at the Disco
Gives You Hell-The All-American Rejects
Clocks - Coldplay
I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry
Careless Whispers- Seether
Smooth - Santana
Chemistry -Semisonic
Golddigger- Kanya West
Crazy - Gnarls Barkley
Drops of Jupiter - Train
Over My Head (Cable Car) - The Fray
If You Seek Amy - Brittney Spears
The Remedy - Jason Mraz
Unwell - Matchbox 20
Hey Ya - Outkast
Hot In Here - Nelly
In the End - Linkin Park
Bent - Matchbox 20
Skater Boy - Avril Lavine
Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down
Promiscuous - Nelly Furtato and Timberland
Boom Boom Pow - Black Eyed Peas
Single Ladies Put a Ring on It - Beyonce
Laffy Taffy- D4L

And now the worst (In order of their awfulness):

1. Chicken Fried - Zac Brown Band
2. Have You Forgotten - Darryl Worely
3. I Can Only Imagine - MercyMe
4. Dance With My Father - Luther Vandross
5. Heaven Holds The Ones I Love - Nita Whitaker
6. To Where You Are - Josh Groban
7. Angel - Shaggy
8. Your Beautiful - James Blunt
9. Meet Virginia - Train
10. All Summer Long Kid Rock


Of course opinions like this are why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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