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Saturday, February 27, 2010

I THOUGHT THAT SONG WAS ABOUT ME


One of the great mysteries of rock and roll lyrics may be solved. Carly Simon is hinting that a guy named David was the inspiration for "You're So Vain." The Toronto Star has the story.

Rumor has it that it is record mogul David Geffen. I thought it was David Coulier of Full House. Maybe I'm thinking of another song.

I always thought "You're So Vain" was about me. Of course, opinions like this are why I'm the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Friday, February 26, 2010

WHY DO LOCAL BROADCASTERS HATE BOSS RADIO?

The death of Gene Chenault brings to close the story of "Boss Radio," the dynamic sound that revitalized Top 40 radio in the 60's. The radio stations in the Drake-Chenault chain had a style that was imitated in many parts of the country except the Ozarks. When you bring up the "Boss Radio" to many people in the radio industry in southwest Missouri, you get an attitude of disdain. Many complain that Boss Radio was too "West Coast" or "big city."

I recently out lined how I would create a Top 40 station over on the Missouri Radio Message Board. I mentioned early on in my post that I was taking cues from the "Bill Drake playbook."

Here is my outline:

"Music: T-40 (Not a restricted CHR) with a good dose of Alternative and Hip Hop/R&B. Also I throw in a select group of oldies/classic rock. This last group would be rotated quite a bit. I would use an automation system, but the DJs would be live. I would also demand that music logs were checked so that the same song doesn't play at the same time, day after day, week after week. Most of all I want to keep the music upbeat and diverse. THAT MEANS DON'T JUST PLAY WHITE ARTIST.

DJ should be up beat, exciting and fun. They should also be profesional radio talent. No real estate guys, plumbers or auctioneers. I was also require them to be on MORE than three breaks an hour. The DJs must give the name of the song and artist along with time and temperature. Also the DJs will give any pertinent info they might want about what is going on in the community. Listen to the KHJ and CKLW aircheck here and here and here.

I will find a morning guy who is equivalent David Letterman or Conan O'Brien and let them have fun. Then find them a good sidekick, male or female. I have them make fun of local talk radio host. My morning show host will put a "kick me sign" on any talk host "standing up for what's right."

Imaging: At no point will you hear a liner or ID that sounds like static or the station has went off the air. There will be jingle like the ones heard here on You Tube.

News & Weather: I would have a two minute newscast at the quarters (15 after and 15 til) and weather four times an hour. The news department would be separate. The DJs would not be forced to do the news. Also none that "we don't do cover that." If it is news we would cover it. I don't believe in "pick & choose" news. Of the Drake stations, CKLW had the biggest news department under Byron McGregor (although the style at times boardered on being in poor taste). NO WALL TO WALL COVERAGE UNLESS IT IS A TORNADO. Even then the DJS can give warnings and info with out turning into "War of the Worlds." I also believe that during an ice storm people would appreciate some music as apposed to phone calls from idiots complaining about the electricity being out.

Sports: DJs can give scores and there my be an update once an hour on Saturdays. No play by play, but the station would have a "tailgate party" at every game with free food and maybe free swag. Have someone there to call in a score update to the Djs.

Public service: I believe that public service is the key name branding and public trust. I'm against this "If they charge to get in, we are not giving them free airtime." Try to be involved in every charity event you can.

Commercials: I would put a limit on commercials per hour and spread them out through out the hour. No more "30 minutes of non stop music" followed by 8 minutes of commercials. Once the slots were filled on the prime time, have the sales people tell advertisers they can be on a waiting list or sell them ROS. If there are barter/makegoods, put them in the overnight or light hours. The local advertisers or national ad buys are more important than that idiot that says "Is yor kid abnaxshush?" or "Men, Do you have trouble urinating?" spots. Most of all I would keep the sales people on a short leash. There job is sales - THAT IS IT. Make sure they find advertisers that will be right for the format. The T-40 audience goes to bars, restaurants, stores, banks, hair salons etc. They don't buy drywall drills or backhoe equipment.

Promotions: There will be surveys like the ones found on this KHJ site. Billboards with the DJs picture on it. T-shirts with the station on it. Window stickers with the calls. The station would do a promotion where a person wearing the station Ts or has window sticker in their car gets a prize."

Sounds like a good idea doesn't it? They didn't thinks so. I only received one positive comment about it. I was chided for trying to program for kids and that it wouldn't make money. Many area broadcasters are infatuated with the work of Missouri's Jerald Shepherd because he "made lots of money." His was bare bones and bland with an over abundance of bland, dry-read ads. No jingles or commercials with background music or humor. Of course, all that is important to the Ozarkers and the talk radio freaks is money. No fun or joy allowed in the Ozarks. It will upset those listeners over 70.

That is why the radio industry is doomed in this part of the country. Soon the only people listening will be country music loving rednecks and the money-grubbing, hate-driven talk radio freaks.

Of course, opinions like this are why I'm considered the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

T-40 RADIO OWNER/SYNDICATOR GENE CHENAULT DIES AT 90


Gene Chenault, who along with Bill Drake helped create the Boss Radio sound of Top 40 radio in the 60's & 70's, has died. Don Barrett's L.A. RADIO has a good tribute.
I'll have more to say about this later.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

I REMEMBER YOU FROM SCHOOL - YOU WERE A PAIN THEN TOO


This is a response to a post on a weenie blog a few weeks ago. It was a slam to people of my political persuasion. This person tried to explain that her political ideology was better than mine. The more I read the more I realized not only why I’m proud to be a liberal, but who most of the conservative people my age are. I have also noticed this by the people who have friended me on Facebook from high school.

Conservatives are those people we didn’t like in junior high and high school. You know the ones I’m talking about. They were not necessarily the popular kids. They were the ones who wanted to be more popular than the popular kids.

Granted, I wanted to be the most popular kid in school but on my own merits such as my hip and cool taste in music, movies, humor and looks (Okay the last one was a stretch). These people were obsessed with grades and achieving notoriety.

There is nothing wrong with excelling, but these people rubbed it in your face that they had better grades than you, that they were the president of a club or on a sports team. However, if someone achieved more than these people, they had their parents go to the teacher, then to principal, then to school board and get some changes made. Usually, a good teacher or coach lost their job, because they did some good like give everyone an “A” or allow a lowly student like myself to be in the spotlight rather than the ‘over-achiever’ or allowed wimpy me play on their team in P.E.

Also these people were the ones who made fun of you to your face. However, if you have a good come back for them, it became “major incident.” Daddy & Mommy would go to the Principal and we would be forced to apologize along with spending time in detention (Speaking of which, if you still can't grasp the kind of people I'm talking about, think of the characters played by Molly Rigwald and Emilio Estivez in The Breakfast Club).

These people usually quit college and said it was because “The professors were liberal.” Actually it was a combination of daddy & mommy weren’t around to fight their battles and partying. See, in junior high/high school these people were always president of S.A.D.D or Teen Action or some other self-righteous, preachy group. They lectured me on how my love of heavy metal, punk and 60s psychedelic music would lead me to drug abuse. Then it turns out these people drank themselves out of SMSU or Mizzou or Drury Or Evangel.

These days those people tell you how much they make, how much their house is worth, how many well-disciplined kids they have and how many vehicles they have. THEY DON’T REALIZE WE STILL DON’T CARE! I have over 3000 CDs and about 200 DVDs. I would like a wife and kids, but the hours I work I wouldn’t have time to spend with her.

I also get paid very little, have lousy health insurance and the industry I work in has been taken over by large money-grubbing corporations that are only interested in making stars out of right-wing scumbags.

Yes, I believe in equality, but you people never did. You are still only interested in one thing...yourself. That is why I never liked you people in school. That is why I was and still am considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

BTW, if the former governor of Alaska wants to complain about me using her photo in this post on her Facebook page...I’ll sue her butt off!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

DID YOU SAY YOU ATE CAT STEW?


This comes to us courtesy of the Today show website and AP. An Italian TV cooking show host has been suspended for talking about eating cat stew "many times." Remember, if you eat pussy, don't brag about it on TV.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

TAKING TIME TO BLOG

Early in the history of this blog, I was attacked by an anonymous commenter that I didn't update my blog enough. That snide remark has made me worry that I don't post enough on my blog.

I'll admit, there have been long gaps in between post at times. There are two reasons for this:
  1. Lack of interest in anything going on. If something doesn't strike me as something I can find humor in or I have a need to speak my mind on, I leave it alone. There are plenty of blogger who will comment on it.
  2. Time. Yes, that is what this post is about. I'm pressed for time due to my "real" job and the odd hours I work. Sometimes I can post at work, but even then I'm usually doing something else. I force myself to blog while fighting sleep when I get home.
I would love to make a post an hour like Tony's Kansas City (That is a rough estimate). Of course, I know of many of the Founding Fathers of Springfield Blogging used to knock out a great post everyday. These days, we are lucky to see a post out of them a month. They are busier than they were in the early part of the past decade.
Some times I have an idea for a post on a current topic, but by the time I get a chance to post anything it is old news. Case in point, my view point on the Super Bowl commercials since I'm an advertising nut. On the other hand, some things have been sitting on the back burner a long time. The spanking post from a few weeks ago has been in my head for a while, it was just some recent things going on that made me go ahead with it. I'm dying to sound off on something I read on another local blog that proved a point I have about certain people's political beliefs.
My advise to bloggers: DO IT YOUR WAY! MAKE THE BLOG YOUR OWN CREATION! Take advise on how to improve your readership or promotion, but don't listen to people who want hard set rules for bloggers. You don't have to give your real name or allow comments if you don't want to. The people who say you have to take comments and give your real name are people who want to harass you over some silly thing like preferring the 60s TV show Batman over that horrible movie The Dark Knight.
Most of all, HAVE FUN! I frequently find myself laughing while posting my opinions. Of course, opinions like these are why I'm the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

TV WRITER AND PRODUCER AARON RUBEN DIES

I'm getting to this story late as well, but I found a quote from this gentleman that I had to mention, because I knew it would upset some Ozarkers. And you all know how I love to do that! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Aaron Ruben, who was a TV writer and producer, died last Saturday at 95. He produced the first five year of the Andy Griffith Show as well as Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C. Here is the L. A Times story about him. The Times also had an excerpt from a 1970 interview about a failed project with Andy Griffith called The Headmaster.

"Both Andy and I said we won't come back on television with one of the old formula shows," Ruben told Smith. "They won't work anymore. I wouldn't put the old Griffith show on today. I started 'Gomer Pyle,' but I wouldn't consider a show like that now.

"It's a different world. You can't expect an audience that's been to see [the movies] 'MASH' or 'Medium Cool' to be concerned about whether Aunt Bee finishes the patchwork quilt in time for the bazaar."

As many of you know, I feel some of the Mayberry fans take the show too seriously and get really obnoxious when they say they "wish there was a show like Andy Griffith Show on TV these days." Funny, Aaron Ruben felt the show was outdated in 1970 and he was the producer.

I tend to agree, Mr. Ruben. Great show, but lets move on. Of course, opinions like this are why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I STARTED BEING THIS WAY IN KINDERGARTEN

I wanted to mention the passing of a wonderful lady. Her name was Edythe Miller and she was my kindergarten in Lebanon, MO. She made going to school fun and comfortable for children entering the scary world of public education (and Mark Twain Elementary could be very scary at times). Mrs. Miller had a elaborate costume for every holiday or special event. She wore everything from a bunny outfit at Easter to a Betsy Ross outfit for the Bicentennial. At the end of every school day she kissed every child on their way out the door. It didn't matter if they were rich or poor, clean or dirty, sick or healthy, white or black. They got a goodbye kiss.

One of the things you have to learn in kindergarten is left and right. When it came time to be tested, I got the answers wrong and she calmly corrected me. In my typical style I announced to Mrs. Miller, "I have decided that from now on things shall be changed. The right is now the left and the left is right. We will all adhere to the change at once!"

Mrs. Miller handled this gracefully. She didn't smack me around or pummel me into the ground, as the other teachers at Mark Twain Elementary would have done. She just wrote a note to my parents on my report card "You son expresses strong opinions."

And it is those "strong opinions" that make me the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

NEWS LEADER CARTOON FROM 1960

I found this editorial cartoon in a July 26, 1960 edition of the Springfield News Leader and Press. According to the caption, it was drawn by Lucy Van Pelt of Peanuts. It is unknown if this is in fact the work of Charles Schulz or News Leader's Bob Palmer. It is better than the cartoons the News Leader currently runs (especially those from the guy from Branson).
Of course, opinions like this are why I'm considered the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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