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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Have a Happy New Year & Happy Kwanzaa (or I will send this robot after you)

Some of you closet Klansmen here in the Ozarks don't celebrate Kwanzaa because "Yer agin it." Well, I have this giant killer robot with a death ray mounted on it's head. I have it programmed to hunt down people who don't celebrate Kwanzaa and don't party on News Years Eve. When it finds you closet Klansmen and non-partiers it will VAPORIZE YOU! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHA!
This will all start New Years Day (which is also the final day of Kwanzaa) or as soon as I get some batteries for the robot at Wal-Mart.

Also want to thank the folks over at Show-Me Opinions for their kind words about me. I also got a nice note from Kathee from The Crime Scene. "You always make me snicker when I read your blog, Des. Believe me, 20 year class reunions AREN'T what they're cracked up to be. Maybe YOU should give Eunice a ringy-dingy." NO Kathee, some things are better left in the past. Besides I hear her husband is a big man. Of course, I have a giant killer robot with a death ray mounted on it's head. Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHA! Also, I'm saving myself for Paris Hilton.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Gay Xmas on Park Central Square in Springfield, MO 1959

I had to post a bit of this Woolworth's ad from a 1959 Springfield News Leader. I was hoping to see how many people's heads exploded. I bet some will write the News Leader, upset that they printed a "gay" back in the 50's. I bet this will get the phones on KSGF buzzing (the fine folks over at KWTO-AM have better things to do this week).
I should note that as mentioned in the Cranks post, women's panties were a dollar and Milk of Magnesia was sixty cents. I should also mention to Busplunge that the item he got a kick out of was a brand name, Child's Razor Blades, not childs razor blades (For little shavers?).

Lebanon Daily Record 1959: Mr. Magoo Gives Stag Beer For Xmas

From a December 1959 Lebanon Daily Record. I find the unusual because we have not only the idea a beer for a Christmas gift being given by a cartoon character, but the ad is in the newspaper of a town the only recently started allowing liquor sales in grocery stores.

Springfield News Leader 1959 - Whiskey for Christmas

The Springfield News Leader and Daily News were filed with hard alcohol ads in the 50's. There seem to be a push to give them as gifts at Christmas time.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

1959 XMAS in Springfield News Leader

These ads are from Christmas time 1959. They're for a chain of drug/variety stores called Cranks that were in Springfield. We hear about how "perfect" the 1950's were for family values.

These ads feature the use of "Xmas." I also notice that these stores in the 50's ran specials every week on women's panties and Milk of Magnesia. I wonder if there was a connection.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Bob Palmer News Leader Cartoon 1959 - City Council Meeting

My roommate (who is also my twin brother - I'm the evil twin you always hear about) found this Bob Palmer cartoon in a 1959 News Leader. I think the idea of a speaker at city council exaggerating things is funny, but then I realize the character maybe trying to get improvements on the drainage system which as you know is one of my pet peeves.
Either way it shows somethings never change, except Jason isn't there to tell us which councilman has the best tie. The way Palmer drew the city council it looks like they didn't have any necks.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Has It Been 28 Years Since John Lennon was Murdered?

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope some day you'll join us and the world will live as one. John Lennon.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

STOP POSTING SPAM ON MY BLOG (or why I haven't been allowing comments)

Some of the other local bloggers e-mailed me and asked why I haven't been allowing comments on my blog since early in the summer months. One word: SPAM! I've had spam about cut rate drugs from Canada, cheap jewelry from China, stocks and bonds and even a few strange candidates for office.

However the worst has been a person who has started a political action committee in California. This person has been trying to post a link to this groups website. They usually add a remark like "You are fool not to join us in our fight for real justice" or "Only a stupid person would not want to support our cause."

I sorry, I will NOT give free publicity to a political movement I don't agree with. I also won't give free publicity to a group that sells t-shirts and books. I especially find the t-shirt for children in poor taste. "My Mama's for Obama" was on kids this fall was cute but "I Was Molested By a Bad Judge" for sale on your site is creepy.

I understand that there are times when things aren't fair, but demonizing everyone in a certain profession and trying to ruin the careers of innocent people who do their job right is sadistic.

Today, this person showed themselves for what they are: a selfish bully.

  1. This person tried to post this tirade under the Forrest J. Ackerman story. It has nothing to do with Forry or Famous Monsters (although this person is a creep).
  2. "I always thought people in the Ozarks were stupid. You are proof." That's funny people in the Ozarks always say people in California are obnoxious and you are proof.
  3. "From what I read on this blog you are not only against person liberty and justice, but anti-family." Obviously he doesn't understand my humor, but then again so do some here in the Ozarks.
  4. This person wrote his little sob story which didn't win me over. Apparently this guy claims he didn't get custody of his son because "The judge had the hots for my blond actress ex-slut who stupidly votes for the Dumbo-crats." Yeah, this guy knows how to make you feel sorry for him. This was followed several references to being a "I'm a high paid bank executive." He also believes in "firm discipline" unlike his "ex-slut" (this phrase must have been his creation). Then he mentioned that she put their child in "faggy music lessons" where as he felt the boy should participate in "Little League, Pop Warner Football or a cage fighting group one of my frat brother's son is involved with." So tell me again why you didn't get custody of the boy?
  5. "You are violating my free speech. I could sue you." You will have to find out who I AM first. Granted someone tried to out me earlier this year. Of course, I would get involved with him because his brother was mentioned in the story that hacked you off. He probably would't help you. Besides we would have to go to court and the judge might rule in my favor because he ( in the case of my post) or she have the "hots for me."
  6. "You are uninformed on this situation. I first heard of trouble like this when I would watch Wally George's show in junior high. Bill O'Reilly talks about bad judges all the time." You watched Wally George in junior high? Shouldn't they lock people like you up? How did a guy like you get married in the first place.

I deleted this from the Forrest Ackerman post and there will be no comments on this one. Tell the talk radio boys how I was mean to you, they might be interested. Also tell your "ex-slut" I'm available. She might be my type.

Forrest J. Ackerman 1916 - 2008

Monster Kids who grew up between the 50s to the 80s are morning the loss of Forrest J. Ackerman, founder of Famous Monsters. Here is a good piece from the Los Angeles Times about his life and career. As he would have written in Famous Monsters, Prince Sirki (Joe Black to you Brad Pitt fans) has taken another soul from the Earth.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Andy of Mayberry Fans Need to Get a Life

Remember twenty years ago, when William Shatner hosted Saturday Night Live and was in a sketch where he told a group of Trekkies at a convention to "Get a Life?" I feel it is time for Andy Griffith to tell some of the fans of his show the same thing. Especially the ones here in the Ozarks.

They have conniptions every when KYTV moves the reruns from noon. Also, I'm tired of hearing people say "I wish Springfield was more like Mayberry" or "How can we make Springfield more like Mayberry?" or "Springfield is a small town just like Mayberry." Let me explain something to you folks: MAYBERRY IS NOT A REAL TOWN AND SPRINGFIELD IS FAR FROM EVER BEING LIKE IT!

I find it interesting that many of these same people look down their noses at fans of Star Trek, Doctor Who or Dark Shadows, but are obsessive about returning to Mayberry for a visit with Andy, Barney and Aunt Bee. The sad part is these people want to change things so the world is more like Mayberry. They want to do away with cell phones, home computers, rap music and anything that wasn't mentioned or seen on the Andy Griffith Show or Mayberry R.F.D.

Now, before you start forming the wrong idea about me, let me say this, I like the Andy Griffith Show. I feel it is one of the best written sitcoms of all time. I have the utmost respect for Andy Griffith, Ron Howard, Don Knotts and the others because they were truly talented actors. Which brings me to my other gripe about these Andy of Mayberry fans: THEY HAVE NO TASTE IN WHICH EPISODES ARE THEIR FAVORITE! THEY ALWAYS PICK THE ONES THAT SUCK (IMHOP)! My favorite episode is entitled the "Loaded Goat," a goat eats a highway crews dynamite and scares everyone except Otis. I also like any episode involving the Darlings and Ernest T. Bass. Those make me laugh, just like Family Guy and the Simpsons.

However, these obsessive fans here in the Ozarks always say they like the episode where Andy takes the spoiled kid's bicycle away. It seems they always pick episodes where Oppie gets punished. When these Andy fans tell me this, I tell them that I like the "It's a Good Life" episode of the Twilight Zone. It tell them that is the way my childhood SHOULD have been. I could have banished half of Lebanon, MO, to the cornfield and turned the other half into jack-in-the-boxes.

I guess that is why I don't understand the bizarre obsession with the Andy Griffith Show and Mayberry. As a song that was popular when I was in country radio (against my will) said "I grew up in a Mayberry kind of town." Actually, I felt like more like Oliver Douglas on Green Acres, I was the only sane, intelligent person in Lebanon, but that is just me. To me Star Trek, Doctor Who and Dark Shadows are a fun escape (although, like DS, I have some monsters and bloodsuckers in my family). I don't see them as a pattern for my life. Some of this Andy of Mayberry worship stuff has come from the mega-churches. They watch the reruns together and discuss the message. Strange, where I go to church we use the New Testament.

I was really hoping this video Ron Howard made a few months ago would help break these people of their obsession. I guess Andy is going to have to give these folks a Shatner speech. He can use Barney's favorite phrase, "NIP IT IN THE BUD!"

Monday, December 1, 2008

Bill Drake 1937 - 2008

Boss Angeles TV station KCAL is reporting the death of radio programming giant Bill Drake. He was 71. Of the stations Drake programmed KHJ in "Boss Angeles" was the most famous. Drake took the already popular Top 40 format and made it exciting. He gave Top 40 a streamlined style. The Wikipedia entry for Bill Drake explains his importance to radio in the best way.

"Drake streamlined the Top 40 format, using modern methods, such as market research and ratings demographics, to maximize the number of listeners. He believed in forward momentum, limiting the amount of disc jockey chatter, the number of advertisements and playing only the top hits, as opposed to less-organized programming methods of the past. Drake created concepts such as 20/20 News and counter programming, by playing music sweeps, while his competitors aired news. Drake-Chenault controlled everything from the specific DJs that were hired, to radio contests, visual logos, promotions and commercial policy. Drake essentially put radio back into the hands of programming, instead of sales. Drake hired the Johnny Mann Singers to produce the Boss Radio jingles, ensuring a bright, high-energy sound that engaged the listener, while providing a bridge from song to song, as well as a smooth transition from songs to commercials."

Yes, he created a strict format but it was a fun and enjoyable one. His stars were fun guys like Robert W. Morgan and the Real Don Steel, not screaming right-wing wackos. He made radio appealed to those who liked to listen to the radio for new music and maybe a joke or two, rather than people who complain about hearing the same liner or jingle more than once a day. Drake didn't suffer fools and whiners, he made radio for those who wanted to be hip and belong to a generation.

For a sample of KHJ and Drake's master touch there is a composite of stuff from the 70's on, a 1968 KHJ aircheck of Robert W. Morgan is here on Rock Radio Scrapbook, and a compilation from You Tube with photos of the Top 40 fliers.

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