- Tiger Woods' sex life: This story only appeals to racist, old, white men who aren't good at golf.
- Susan Boyle's CD: I don't understand the fascination with this woman. She can sing but her music is boring. I think I'll buy the Adam Lambert CD instead.
Of course, opinions like these are are why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!