ANDY OF MAYBERRY FANS IN THE OZARKS CELEBRATE THE RETURN OF THE B&W EPISODES

If you watch the news you know that there are horrible things going on. The worst oil spill in U.S history, never ending war in the middle east, Nashville destroyed by flooding, not to mention the economy, unemployment, and housing market, however, Ozarkers are rejoicing.

Yes, Ozarkers are wetting themselves with happiness because KY 3 has announced that they will be showing the black and white episodes of the Andy Griffith Show starting next week. As you know I think Ozarkers are obsessive about the Andy Griffith Show to such a point it is nauseating. KY 3 announced this on their Facebook sight Thursday and soon Andy of Mayberry fans were giddy with glee.

I personally don't hate the color episodes of the Andy Griffith Show. It is shocking how some grown people, men especially, get angry when KY 3 or TV Land shows the color episodes. Of course, I have a theory about the local guys who get upset about the color episodes of the Andy Griffith Show.

I still cannot believe that none of the local TV stations have never ran Batman in reruns. Maybe they are still upset about this incident during the shows original run. I'll just have to settle for this You Tube channel.

And why was Get Smart never shown in reruns in Springfield? Or the Adventures of Superman or Have Gun Will Travel or Dark Shadows? Instead I have to buy the DVDs to see these shows, while the Andy of Mayberry fans get to watch their favorite show for free.

Besides, who would want to live in Mayberry? They probably have only one radio station and it is a country station owned by the Shepherd Group that plays that "Chicken Fried" song every hour. Also, there is no diversity in Mayberry. Everyone in Mayberry is WHITE. Yuck!

Of course, opinions like this one is why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Andy of Mayberry Fans Need to Get a Life

Remember twenty years ago, when William Shatner hosted Saturday Night Live and was in a sketch where he told a group of Trekkies at a convention to "Get a Life?" I feel it is time for Andy Griffith to tell some of the fans of his show the same thing. Especially the ones here in the Ozarks.

They have conniptions every when KYTV moves the reruns from noon. Also, I'm tired of hearing people say "I wish Springfield was more like Mayberry" or "How can we make Springfield more like Mayberry?" or "Springfield is a small town just like Mayberry." Let me explain something to you folks: MAYBERRY IS NOT A REAL TOWN AND SPRINGFIELD IS FAR FROM EVER BEING LIKE IT!

I find it interesting that many of these same people look down their noses at fans of Star Trek, Doctor Who or Dark Shadows, but are obsessive about returning to Mayberry for a visit with Andy, Barney and Aunt Bee. The sad part is these people want to change things so the world is more like Mayberry. They want to do away with cell phones, home computers, rap music and anything that wasn't mentioned or seen on the Andy Griffith Show or Mayberry R.F.D.

Now, before you start forming the wrong idea about me, let me say this, I like the Andy Griffith Show. I feel it is one of the best written sitcoms of all time. I have the utmost respect for Andy Griffith, Ron Howard, Don Knotts and the others because they were truly talented actors. Which brings me to my other gripe about these Andy of Mayberry fans: THEY HAVE NO TASTE IN WHICH EPISODES ARE THEIR FAVORITE! THEY ALWAYS PICK THE ONES THAT SUCK (IMHOP)! My favorite episode is entitled the "Loaded Goat," a goat eats a highway crews dynamite and scares everyone except Otis. I also like any episode involving the Darlings and Ernest T. Bass. Those make me laugh, just like Family Guy and the Simpsons.

However, these obsessive fans here in the Ozarks always say they like the episode where Andy takes the spoiled kid's bicycle away. It seems they always pick episodes where Oppie gets punished. When these Andy fans tell me this, I tell them that I like the "It's a Good Life" episode of the Twilight Zone. It tell them that is the way my childhood SHOULD have been. I could have banished half of Lebanon, MO, to the cornfield and turned the other half into jack-in-the-boxes.

I guess that is why I don't understand the bizarre obsession with the Andy Griffith Show and Mayberry. As a song that was popular when I was in country radio (against my will) said "I grew up in a Mayberry kind of town." Actually, I felt like more like Oliver Douglas on Green Acres, I was the only sane, intelligent person in Lebanon, but that is just me. To me Star Trek, Doctor Who and Dark Shadows are a fun escape (although, like DS, I have some monsters and bloodsuckers in my family). I don't see them as a pattern for my life. Some of this Andy of Mayberry worship stuff has come from the mega-churches. They watch the reruns together and discuss the message. Strange, where I go to church we use the New Testament.

I was really hoping this video Ron Howard made a few months ago would help break these people of their obsession. I guess Andy is going to have to give these folks a Shatner speech. He can use Barney's favorite phrase, "NIP IT IN THE BUD!"