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Friday, July 18, 2008

I'm Going Door To Door Trying Find Friendly People To Talk To

A few weeks ago, a young guy came to the door. He was covered with tattoos and not exactly clean. He claimed to be a college student majoring in communication and was "required to go door to door, trying to find 1000 friendly people to talk to." He told me he wanted to go into radio. I was ready to explain to him that he should really concentrate on a career in television or cable technology, when his story became more outrageous. He told me that it was a "law" that he would have to have a two year internship at a radio station or he could (Are you ready for this?) sell magazine subscriptions. Why this doofus picked selling magazines is beyond me? Then, the story got goofy.

The money he earned would pay for his participation in a "special student project." He and other students from other American colleges were going to the BBC to film a remake of the film Monty Python and the Holy Grail "in memory of the original film's star John Gleezz, who died last year." You probably are ahead of me, but the chaps name is John Cleese and he is still living ("I'm not dead yet!"). Also. if the BBC wanted to pay homage to a legendary comedian, why would they have a bunch of American kids do it as a reward for selling magazine subscriptions?

I tried to get rid of the kid by telling him that I worked in radio, thinking he would see his story was not washing with me (Of course, washing was a foreign concept to this guy). Instead he tried to talk shop using strange terms for audio technology that he was making up as he went. I know this because the terms changed from "digital ominogragh" to "digital opthometer." I told him that must be "something new" and this bonehead said, "It was invented by the rapper P. Daddy." I assume that P. Daddy is really P. Diddy or Sean "Puffy" Combs or the late Bo Diddley (I wonder if they knew the late John Gleezz).

I didn't buy any magazines from this idiot nor did I buy any from the frightened and fidgety girl who came to the door the next week. While, I'm laughing at this, the sad reality is these kids are involved in something very ugly. Here is an article from the Houston Press about door-to-door magazine sales. From this article, I realize the guy was using something called a "dirty canvas," which sounds correct seeing he was dirty himself. Basically, it is a false story (I don't know if mangled names of celebrities are part of this or not). Also threats are part of the life of these poor kids. Thinking back on the girl's mannerisms, I would say her bosses told her that she had to sell some magazine subscriptions before she could have a bathroom break (that was kind of how she acted).

This is a scary read folks, but I thought I should bring it to your attention. I've also been wanting to tell about that goofy guy for weeks.

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