Link to new blog

CHECK OUT THE NEW ADVENTURES OF DESDINOVA THE SUPER VILLAIN OF THE OZARKS!!! It is a new blog is a retro pop culture blog. Click here to see it.

Monday, December 24, 2007

My Favorite Christmas Stuff and a few other things

Favorite Christmas movies (No real order): The Christmas Carol with Alister Sims as Scrooge, which is about an old miser that mistreats his help being scared out of his wits by ghost (Why would I like that?).
Christmas Vacation and White Christmas: I associate these two together because of a line Chevy Chase utters it Christmas Vacation. I prefer White Christmas to Holiday Inn (where Bing introduces the song "White Christmas") because Danny Kaye is great comedian and Rosemary Clooney and Vera Ellen are HOT!
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and Santa Claus because they are just plain bad, but no maudlin like most Christmas stories for children. Best when viewed with the MST3K gang (I remember that Aunt Norma on Children's Hour would announce that you could see Santa Claus at the Tower Theater for free if you brought a canned good).
Let us not forget Christmas Story and Ralphie's quest for "the Holy Grail of Christmas Gifts" - the Red Ryder BB gun.

Favorite Christmas Songs: All time favorite: "Little Drummer Boy." When I was younger I liked the original by the Harry Simeone Chorale, but as I've grown older I LOVE the version by David Bowie and Bing Crosby which also incorporates as song called "Peace On Earth." BTW, Ozark Politics has posted the video clip of Der Bingle and the Thin White Duke singing this song (Note I feel the worst versions of this are by Kintaro and Johnny Cash).
2. "Happy Xmas (the War Is Over)" by John Lennon fits my mood about Christmas. I never get what I want and I usually have to work. Most Ozarkers hate this song, which is why it is number two on my list.
3. "Rudolph the Red Nose Raindeer" because like Rudolph, I was ostracized as a child. Mark my words I'll get back at them! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHA!
4. "Feliz Navidad" by Jose Feliciano. I like this because it is happy and peppy. It just makes me feel good. Also because like #2, Ozarkers hate it.
5. "Rockin Around the Christmas Tree" by Brenda Lee. It's happy and fun.

Other favorites include "Run Run Rudolph" by Chuck Berry, "Silent Night" (Any version except the Stevie "I'm in pain" Nicks version), "Sleigh Ride" (Any version, because you can't screw that song up), "The Christmas Song" by Nat King Cole, "Do You Here What I Hear?," "Mary's Boy Child" and "Calypso Noel" by Johnny Mathis.

The Christmas Songs I don't like: "I'll Be Home For Christmas" which is the official song of holiday depression.
"Home For the Holidays" people tell what they are doing for the holidays, not realizing the singer is probably breaking into their homes while they are gone. This song also features the guy with the pumpkin pie fetish.
"Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" by Elmo and Patsy. I used to like this when I was in junior high when a radio station would play this once a year. Matter of fact very little Christmas music was played on the radio when I was young. Now this song gets played to death on radio and it is usually requested by rednecks.
"I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" by Gayla Peevy. Uses to you only heard this on Dr. Demento. Now that some stations play all Christmas music during the holidays, this one gets too much airplay. I hated it before and I can't take it now that it gets played every five minutes. AAAAGGHHHH!
"Mary Did You Know" by Mark Lowery. Not only is Lowery overly dramatic but if you read Chapter One of the Book of Mark, Gabriel the angel explain this to Mary. Also, if you are a virgin and an angel tells you are going to have a baby, you probably know your child is going to be special. So why did Mark Lowery feel he has to tell Mary this. Ozarkers request this song a lot. They like it. That means I DON'T LIKE IT!

My fear is next Christmas someone will come up with "Mary Did You Know My Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer."

Favorite TV Christmas episodes: Dragnet: Big Little Jesus (Black and white version) - Friday and Smith look for a stolen Baby Jesus. The culprit is a small Hispanic boy who wanted to give the baby a ride in his wagon he got for Christmas.

Have Gun Will Travel: Hanging Cross - Paladin has to intervene in a fight between a rich rancher and Indians over the custody of a small boy. Paladin hangs up his guns because "this is a night of peace."

Twilight Zone: Night of the Meek - Art Carney is a department store Santa with a magic bag. If I tell you any more I'll give away the ending.

WKRP - a Christmas Carol-like dream for Mr. Carlson brought on by Johnny Fever's Brownies. Scariest part: In the future, Herb is the only employee of a totally automated WKRP. He even voice tracks his sales calls.


Check out the 1964 Vincent Price film Last Man On Earth. It is based on the book I Am Legend. Author Richard Matheson hated it and made American International change the name of it. I find it to be better than Omega Man, a 1972 movie which Matheson didn't like either.

Also try to find a copy of Andy Milligan's Bloodthirsty Butchers. It is his 1970 version of the Sweeney Todd story. This movie is more fun than the 1930's Todd Slaughter version of Sweeney Todd because it has a fight broken up by a clown in drag and a pie containing a lady's nipple (although I think it looks like the bottom of a purple onion).

Friday, December 14, 2007

Back to the Studio

It has been a long time since I featured an ad for the Studio from the Springfield Daily News. This is January 1978. The Opening of Misty Beethoven, directed by Radley Metzger, is considered a masterpiece of adult film (for what ever that is worth).

I had to include the other ad as an example of how things have changed in Springfield. I'm not sure if this is the motel that was at the corner of Glenstone and Kearney when I was a kid or not. There were several motels that advertised adult films on their signs. I guess that has been replaced by Continental Breakfast and free WiFi. (Sorry about the quality. The microfilm machines at the Library Center are lousy.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Happy Holidays or Sit and Spin!

If you say "Happy Holidays" to someone and they give you some big lecture on the "culture war" or "war on Christmas," do what I plan to do.


Quiet Riot, Eunice Moneymaker, the University and the Downfall of Good Radio

Earlier this week, the lead singer of the 80's heavy metal band Quiet Riot, Kevin DuBrow, died. It got me think about what made me become a SUPER-VILLAIN OF THE OZARKS.

The picture above is of Eunice Moneymaker (not her real name, but my name isn't Desdinova either). I met her in seventh grade and she ruined my life. Let's just say that young Desdinova tried to do anything to make her fall in love with him. She was quite popular and often interviewed by the school newspaper. She mentioned that her favorite pasttime was "listening to the radio."
At that point, I decided "If I get into radio, she will fall in love with me." In these ponderous articles (yes, even junior high journalism can be ponderous) she would give the name of her favorite song. Once she said it was "Cum On Feel the Noize" by Quiet Riot. It just so happened that was my favorite song. I had something in common with Eunice. I soon found out Eunice was one of these people who only liked a new song for a few weeks and moved on to the next flavor of the month. Also Eunice had this horrible little friend named Lillith Vore. Lillith said that if you turned the song up to full blast DuBrow was singing something dirty. Of course, Lillith prefered Barry Manilow.
Also the station in our hometown, KLWT-FM 92, played the single version of the song which was shorter. The rest of the time they played Barry Manilow, Dan Foggleberg and Air Supply. UGH! I thought "When I program radio that stuff will be gone. It will be all Quiet Riot, Motley Crue, Ratt, Ozzy, BOC, Van Halen, Sex Pistols and Zappa. NOTHING WILL STOP ME! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
I went off to Southwest Missouri State University and obtained a degree in electronic media. I was told by the instructors there that I had a great future in radio. Sadly, the radio industry began taking a turn for the worst.
The industry now believes that radio should not be programed for the listener, but for the advertiser. For some reason the "good" music (The lame stuff I hate) must be separated from the "Bad music advertisers don't like" (the stuff I love). Put the "bad music" on a weak signal so nobody can hear it and don't promote it.
There is WAY TOO MUCH country music and talk out there on the radio. Talk is the worst. Besides the fact that the majoroity of corporate radio companies seem uninterested in programing anything that would be of interest to anyone under 40, or at least a REAL person under 40 as opposed to a mythical version of what they THINK a person under 40 is like (there idea of a woman under 40 is something akin to June Cleaver than the women I know under 40).
Jones Media has now unleased the most misguided format idea yet and, unfortunatly, the company I work for picked up on it: Timeless love songs. Crappy, mushy, slow wimp music and announcers must read liners rather than be good ole fashioned on-air personalities.
I feel the reason younger listeners are going to Ipods and sateilite services is because not only are they not hearing the music they want, but they don't trust the industry. Everyone who reads this blog knows I HATE TALK RADIO with a passion.
The two talk bozos in town (KSGF's Vincent David John Jacob Jingle Himerschmit Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla (who found a kangaroo) Shimmy Shimmy Ko-ko Bop Ramma Lama Ding Dong Do Wah Diddy Diddy Da Do Ron Ron Ron Da Do Ron Ron Gidyup Ooomp Pompa Oooomp Pompa Mow Mow Hiyo Silver Away Banana Fanna Fo Fanna De Doo Doo Doo De Da Da Da (That's all I want to say to you)Gabba Gabba Hey Gabba Hey (Now you're one of us) two all-beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onion on a sesame seed bun, Itsy Bittsy Tiny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Joiner-Kersee Sammy Davis Junior Jericho and KWTO-AM's new boy, Chubby Buffoon) are showing just how much they HATE KIDS AND THEIR CULTURE.
Popcicle Boy has been ranting and raving how you shouldn't let you kids play the Warcraft or let your kids see the movies Golden Compass. Chubby Buffoon said that parents who allow their kids to listen to hip-hop are "garbage."
I believe any parent who doesn't allow their kids to play Warcraft, watch the Golden Compass or listen to hip-hop SHOULD BE TURNED INTO TO D.F.S AS ABUSIVE PARENTS. PARENTS LIKE THAT ARE NO BETTER THAN THE JERKS THAT KILLED ROWAN FORD!
Now some of you are saying, "Des, doesn't that Chubby guy work at the same station as you?" Unfortunatly yes. I can't believe he is allowed to come in a breath that same air and walk on the same floor as me, but some people like him better than me. These are middle-aged white sales guys who have no taste in music. They love guys like Chubby and Popcicle Boy (and Rush, Hannity and others talk radio scumbags).
Chubby has it in for the University that gave Desdinova TWO DEGREES. I snooped in his mailbox (I thought I would see a love letter from the middle-aged white sales guys) and saw an e-mail from a typical right-wing nutcase Ozarker saying that MSU "forced a girl to have lesbian sex in front of class as a punishment." First of all, the girl was accused of homophobia, so the punishment would fit the crime. Also, as a former student, a little lesbian action in front of class would be nice. I think that would be a good use of our taxpayer money.
I'm really thinking I may go back to MSU, it sounds more sane than radio. Eunice Moneymaker, this is all your fault!

My inspiration is a pirate

As some of you realize, I'm not one of those serious bloggers. I use an "alias" and claim to be a super villain. Some would ask what my inspiration was to start this blog. The Best Page In the Universe, which is ran by a pirate named Maddox. I don't agree with everything he has written, but, like my blog, it is probably not supposed to be taken seriously. This is my favorite post by Maddox.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Halloween Movies Suggetions - Five Directors Good and Bad

These are just five quick suggestions for movies you might want to watch tonight. I narrowed it down to five good and five "bad but fun" movies from famous directors. I wish I had more time to give you a list of great directors and films (It is hard to narrow it down to five). On the other hand the five "bad" directors had more than one "bad film that is fun to watch." Also these are my favorites not necessarily which one is best.

1. Alfred Hitchcock - Psycho
2. Tod Browning - Mark of the Vampire
3. Wes Craven - Scream
4. Ridley Scott - Alien
5. George Romero - Night of the Living Dead

1. Ed Wood - Plan 9 From Outer Space
2. Andy Milligan - Rats Are Coming, The Werewolves Are Here
3. Larry Buchanan - Zontar the Thing From Venus
4. William Beaudine - Bela Lugosi Meets the Brooklyn Gorilla
5. Al Adamson - Dracula Vs Frankenstein

Halloween Top 50 Songs

These songs are not in order:

Monster Mash – Bobby B. Pickett
Dinner With Drac – John Zacherle
Til The Following Night – Screaming Lord Sutch
Bark at the Moon – Ozzy Osbourne
Don’t Fear The Reaper – Blue Oyster Cult
Bela Lugosi’s Dead - Bauhaus
Children of the Grave – Black Sabbath
Creature with The Atom Brain – Roky Erikson
Season of the Witch – Donavon
Welcome to My Nightmare - Alice Cooper
Frankenstein – Edgar Winter Group
Black Magic Women – Santana
She’s Fallen In Love with a Monster Man – Screaming Lord Sutch
She’s My Witch – Kip Tyler
The Voodoo Walk - Sonny Richard’s Panics (with Cindy and Lindy)
Purple People Eater – Sheb Wooley
The Midnight Stroll – The Revells
Vampire Rock and Roll – Fabulous Poodles
Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These) – Marilyn Manson
Spooky – Atlanta Rhythm Section
Thriller – Michael Jackson
Red Right Hand – Nick Cave
Witch Queen of New Orleans – Redbone
Batman, Wolfman, Frankenstein or Dracula – the Diamonds
Boris the Spider – The Who
Bloodletting - Concrete Blonde
Frankenstein - New York Dolls
Nightmare- Artie Shaw
In the Hall of the Mountain King - Sounds Incorporated
Casting My Spell - Johnny Otis Show
Night of Fear - The Move
You Must Be a Witch - Lollipop Shop
Charlotte’s Web - the Fuzztones
The Mummy - Bob Mc Fadden and Dor
The Blob - the Five Blobs
Ghost Riders in the Sky - The Ramrods
Hurry Sundown - The Outlaws
I Put a Spell on You - Screamin Jay Hawkins
Sympathy for the Devil - the Rolling Stones
Godzilla - Blue Oyster Cult
King Kong - The Kinks
Rockin in the Graveyard - Jackie Morningstar
Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon
The Witch - the Sonics
Black Sabbath - Black Sabbath
Black JuJu - Alice Cooper
I Walk on Gilded Splinters - Dr. John
Frankenstein’s Den - The Hollywood Flames
Screaming Ball at Dracula Hall - the Duponts
Grimly Fiendish - The Damned

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Lebanon Still Produces Un-hip Kids

I grew up in Lebanon. Please don't hold that against me. It was during the Hair Metal Age of the 1980's. I was a big fan of Van Halen, Ozzy, Judas Priest, Motley Crue, Quiet Riot and Ratt, along with the classic metal of BOC, Kiss, Led Zep, Ten Years After, James Gang and Deep Purple and a smattering of punk from the Sex Pistols, the Ramones and the Damned. Sadly, the local radio station KLWT FM 92 played mainly Barry Manilow and Air Supply. That was also the music the POPULAR KIDS liked. That was what was played at the school dances so all the cute girls could dance with the jock boys rather than me, Desdinova - the Coolest Kid In Lebanon High School. Some of the POPULAR KIDS thought my music was EVIL.

Then I subbed in at Lebanon High School a few years back. The kids in school then liked a mix of Snoop Dogg, P. Diddy, Ice Cube, Marilyn Manson, Nirvana and old stuff (Beatles, Stones and Dylan). Desdinova thought "The future looks safe in these kids hands."

Well, I'm afraid the pendulum may have swung backward. On a message board called the Ozarks Regional Forums, a typical crank Lebanon adult calling himself Glock Doc (probably a NRA member) says he talked to some "young people" (DORKY POPULAR KIDS) who were upset with the music being played at a recent school dance.

"i had a chance to talk to several young people the day after the homecoming football game & dance at the highschool.some of the youth had never been to a dance at the highschool before and were talking about how they couldn't believe the school allowed music to be played with expletives including, but not limited to the "f" word, the "s" word, the "mf" word, and several street references to the human son told me that it's the norm since he began attending the school dances at 14 years old, 2 years ago.i know the kids probably aren't going to hear anything they don't already hear on a daily basis, but i have a hard time believeing that the r-3 school board, the highschool principal, & the faculty provide this sort of entertainment for our 14 to 18 year old school children.i don't even think the kids are allowed to purchase this type of music at the store at their age which leads me to some lhs headed towards a lawsuit for broadcasting material clearly labeled for people older than the ones listening?how many parents know that their kids are listening to school sponsored foul language?why can't the school play the edited version of the adult music that is available?who exactly makes the call as to what can be played and what is objectionable, or does anything go?i just believe that our public school system is using poor judgement in this case."

Note I copied this the way he posted it - without capital letters and all spelling mistakes. There was a slight formating problem.

First of all, who were these weenies? I assume POPULAR KIDS, who participate in sports and attend the Baptist church. Why do I say that? Because that is who is always the POPULAR KIDS in Lebanon - athletic Baptist kids (usually from Republican families). I wasn't because I was a sickly Church of Christ kid. Seriously, the ACLU need to send someone to bust the Lebanon R-3 School system. They don't hire teachers as much as they hire preachers.

It is kids like this that they elect Mr. and Miss Magnet and not hipsters like myself.
"Several street references to the human anatomy" INDEED!

Thinking About Saturday Morning Cartoons

When I was young, I loved to watch Saturday morning cartoons. Everyone my age did whether they would admit it or not. The three major networks caught flack from parents groups, educators and even some journalist about the cartoons. Eventually, the networks dropped cartoons and kids shows in favor of news programs for adults.

Many of the crank adults I was, unfortunately, around as a child didn't like the programs I watched on Saturday morning. These same adults are big fans of talk radio.

That gives me another radio to hope for a return of the Fairness Doctrine. You know what they say: PAYBACK IS A BITCH!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Why Does Radio Hate Halloween?

For some reason, you can not talk radio PD's into playing Halloween music on Halloween. You might hear "Monster Mash" played once on Halloween day. The announcer usually acts like he was just forced to were a clothespin on his penis. There was a lot of great fun music that can be played on Halloween, but radio stations refuse saying, "Our listeners wouldn't like that. They would be upset." SCREW YOUR MINI-VAN DRIVING UPPER-INCOME, WHITE REPUBLICAN LISTENERS AND HAVE SOME FUN FOR ONCE IN YOUR MISERABLE LIVES.

The same PD's who say that are the same ones who delight in bombarding us with every version of that depressing "I'll Be Home For Christmas" from Thanksgiving until New Years.

Another Christmas song I dislike is "No Place Like Home For The Holidays" in which a bunch of people tell the singer about their boring plans for the holiday. One stupid idiot says he is going out of state for a piece of pumpkin pie. Couldn't he find pumpkin pie at a local bakery? Maybe this pumpkin pie has got crack in it?

Now, radio stations have a new bad Christmas song to force on us. The horrible "Christmas Shoes." A child ask a stranger to buy a new pair of shoes for his dying mother. The kid says she needs new shoes because "she is meeting Jesus tonight." Like Jesus is going to say "Hey, Nice shoes!" If a kid gave me that cock-bull story I would say, "I'll buy you the shoes if a can see a death certificate and a corpse first." I have to have proof someone is dying before show sympathy.

Now, I DO love "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer" because like Rudolph, I was mistreated and ostracized by other children when I was younger. I'll get my revenge though. Mwu-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

It looks like someone would play "Dinner With Drac" by Zacherle, "Batman, Wolfman, Frankenstein and Dracula" by the Diamonds, "It's A Monster Holiday" by Buck Owens, "Bark At the Moon" by Ozzy Osbourne, "Don't Fear the Reaper" by BOC (Although, I'm awfully partial to "Astronomy" too) or "Creature With an Atom Brain" by Roky Erikson.

Alas, the radio industry continues to make stupid decisions that only serve a handful of local advertisers (banks, mega-churches, insurance companies) serviced by un-hip, white guys over 50 rather than YOU THE LISTENER. Why play Halloween oriented music when we can have our morning show host cause trouble at a city council meeting?

Monday, October 1, 2007

Lois Maxwell A.K.A Miss Moneypenny Obit

LONDON (AP) - The actress who played the original MissMoneypenny in 14 James Bond films has died. Lois Maxwell's first Bond film was "Dr. No" in 1962: the first in the series. Herfinal Bond movie was "A View to A Kill" in 1985. The BBC says Maxwell died Saturday in a hospital near her home in Perth,Australia. Roger Moore, who played Bond in several of the films and was a long-time friend, says she had cancer. She was 80.

She also performed some voiceover work for Gary and Sylvia Anderson's Supermaration shows (however, she was not Lady Penelope).

Sunday, September 30, 2007


I had to temporarily disable the comments. I think I caught person who was leaving "threats." He left his e-mail address.

Also I want to apologize to Britney Spears. You're not chubby. There is anything wrong with being chubby either.

Remembering Ed Sisson

Other duties have occupied my time recently, but I wanted to mention the passing of Edward J. Sisson. I first knew of Ed Sisson through the radio. He was on KJEL AM/FM in Lebanon when they played good music (ROCK AND ROLL!). He was part of the laid back school of radio guys of the 70's, much like the character Bill Murray played on the National Lampoon's Good Bye Pop LP. Ed, both on-air and off, was usually joking. Whether he was laughing about the teenage boys who dedicated Henry Gross' Shannon to the girlfriends ("That song is a dog that drowns," Ed laughed. "Real romantic.") to the credits on Hawaii 5-0 ("Kam Fong is Chin Ho.") or referring to a former co-worker at KJEL (later KY3 anchor woman) as "Big Ass Joyce." He wasn't a Clear Channel liner card reader nor was he a bigoted, belligerent talk radio blowhard.

I worked with Ed at the Lebanon Daily Record. He was very supportive and gave good advice, as opposed to the hateful yelling most people have given me over the years. He also just liked to talk. As the LDR's Israel Potoczny wrote in a tribute to him, "Ed and I hit it off right away. We shared a passion in a wide range of things, from former journalists such as Hunter S. Thompson, to sports, music and politics. He was a wealth of information and experience that I am sure I only began to tap into."

One of Ed's passions was music. He often wrote about the rock and roll room in his columns and his love of the Beatles. Ed's sign off on KJEL was to thank his mother and father for having him and "God Bless Billy Martin." God Bless, Ed Sisson too.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Don't Worry Britney - I Still Respect You

I'm not sure why everyone is trashing Britney Spears. I like to see chubby girls in hot pants and fishnet hose dance on TV. This use to be a staple of the Colgate Comedy Hour during Martin and Lewis's tenure. At least she has never done anything really stupid like host a talk radio show on KSGF.

Then there is her fan on You Tube, Chris Crocker. Someone sign this boy up for a radio show or a video music show or something. This kid needs to be promoted and needs to be BIG! Screw Hanity, Rush and the other idiots - THIS IS WHO AMERICA NEEDS TO BE LISTENING TO!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Big Whoop!

The Arbitrons come out today. I'm not interested in them. Reason:
  1. They're not as accurate as the Hooper Raitings.
  2. They're fattening.
  3. They're against my religion.
  4. They don't impress chicks as much as the size of your transmitter (If you know what I mean).
  5. I think they're rigged.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Children of the Revolution by T. Rex

I mentioned a few weeks ago that the song "Children of the Revolution" by T. Rex was stuck in my head. I found this clip on You Tube of Marc Bolan and T. Rex performing the song on an unknown rock and roll/dance party of the past. There were at least four other clips of T. Rex doing the song. This clip indulges my long lost dream of being the next Dick Clark or Casey Kassem. Check out the guy with the Quentin Collins sideburns and target shirt. HE CAN'T DANCE!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Admen Hate Madmen

Ad Age magazine has an article about the new TV show Madmen, which is supposed to be like the Sopranos only about advertising people in the 60s. Several top ad agency people watched and hated the stereotyping.

I've got an idea for a show. It's called "Radio Sales Guys." They tell station owners they can't sell rock formats but they can sell talk. Then they blame the reason the can't sell time on the talk station on on-air talent. Yes, people would enjoy middle-aged white men make dumb excuses at the expense of on-air people's careers and listeners ears.

Reason For the Anger Over Latino Day at the Fair

The big raging controversy with the old farts in the Ozarks, who call talk radio and write LTTE in the News Leader is the Ozark Empire Fair having a Latino Day this year. I don't have a problem with it, but I don't have a problem with most things that upset those old farts.

They say it endorses illegal immigration. Truth is: They are upset that it replaces "Old Fart Day" (or whatever they called it).

Friday, June 29, 2007

Take the Kids

This comes from the Springfield News and Leader circa 1976. Lewis Carroll would be proud.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Ozarkers Hate Kids

I need to say something about this. Last Sunday, State Representative Sarah Lampe wrote a very good opinion piece for the Springfield News Leader. She upset the Ozarkers. Here is what upset them.

"I recently asked a group of fourth grade students what they would vote for if children could vote. Their answers were so simple and yet so profound. They said they want to be the smartest they can be when they leave school. They want time to play, time to read and food and medicine for those who are hungry or sick. Children want things to be fair. They want to be safe. They want everyone to get what they need. And they want us to protect the Earth. If children could vote, these are the things they would vote for.

I heard in the remarks of these fourth-graders many truths about fairness and safety and responsibility. The old expression, "Out of the mouths of babes" comes to mind. Children tell the truth, and the truth is sometimes hard to hear."

Lampe was trying to say that children know more than adults. That is not Ozarkily Correct. Especially the kids Lampe spoke with. They never said a thing about banning sex on TV, banning same-sex marriages, banning rap music, banning Democrats from holding office or anything else that Ozarkers gripe about.


Friday, June 8, 2007

Let's Give Paris Something to Cry About

If you read this blog often you know I haven’t taken the Paris Hilton thing very serious. I think that in the long run this is a non-issue. I think there are some Internet sights making this and the cable news networks making this into a big deal. Brad Belote on the KY3 blog has written a great piece on the media’s obsession with this.

Here is my take. Yes, Paris committed a crime. Yes, she should be punished. With that said let’s look at why this is getting so much play on the cable news and Internet.

  • Paris Hilton is female. There is whole anti-female sentiment expressed on one of the two major cable networks. That network has been touting the idea (much like their "war on Christmas") that there is a "war on men." They obviously believe Paris Hilton needs to be punished for being a girl. She (and her pals, Lyndsay Lohan and Britney Spears) need to be punished for being, as they used to say, "fast girls." Then again these same people hated Princess Di and today hate Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Michelle Wi and Danica Patrick. The only women they like are Anne Coulter and Condelizza Rice. These individuals don’t want women in sports, politics or business. Just keep them at home in the kitchen.

  • She is under 30. There is an anti-youth movement afoot with the same cable network and the talk radio boys. Anything young people like (YouTube, MySpace, Ipods etc.) is evil. This isn’t new even in the mainstream "old" media. The message in the "new" media is, "The only good young people are serving in Iraq. If you are not in Iraq, you should be in jail." Drudge and Rush have both made negative remarks about young people.

  • She is connected to Hollywood and been on MTV. Notice how much of the coverage has mentioned that Hilton was on the MTV Movie Awards. There seems to be an attitude with the ‘new’ media that everyone in Hollywood and half of the state of California should be punished for something, usually being ‘liberal.’

  • She is wasting the Hilton fortune. There are a group ‘new’ media fans who have a big business and money fetish. They admire Conrad Hilton for being a ‘self-made man’ and feel Paris is ruining the family name. These same people also took up for Ken Lay and the Enron boys.

  • Midwestern-Good Americans are enjoying this. This is also the mentality that caused us to see way too much info about Anna Nicole Smith’s death. We want to see these famous people punished or hurt or dead. It makes us feel superior. Yeah, if you are a psycho.

Frankly, as Brad Belote said there are more important issues. If we looked at those issues we would probably see that they need to be fixed.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Every Inch of Harry Reems

"Springfield needs you, Harry Reems! Harry will you please come home!" (sung to the tune of "Harry Truman" by Chicago). From the Springfield News Leader 1977.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Updating a few things

I'm behind on a few things because I had to get a new computer.
  • Sorry I didn't get in on the discussion with Snarling Marmot on the favorite eats. I wish I had more time to frequent some of the local establishments (I will say Ebbets Field has some of the best French Fries). I eat most of my meals at Chilli's. They have the best staff of any resteraunt in town and they're not afraid to serve a man in a mask and cape. I will throw out that we should have a talk about places that are no long apart of the Queen City. As a sickly child who had to visit the doctor here in town quite often, I miss the buffet at Pizza Planet. It sat on Glenstone at the bottom of the bridge over Trafficway. I also miss that place on Glenstone that had 25 cent coney dogs on Tuesday. Also PoBoy's Cajun food.
  • Thanks to Ron Davis of Chatter for the link to Bedazzled, a site about vintage stag films.
  • Speaking of which I hope to have more Studio ads from the Springfield Daily News.
  • I want to apologize to the folks from KSPR 33 news. They had a story on the demolition of North Town Mall in March (which was around the time I heard it). I'm never at home when their news is on. The only local news I see is KY 3's replay at 1:30 a.m. To try and make up I'm linking to one of the greatest things KSPR ever did: The Late Night Horror Show with Count Norlock. These turned up on You Tube recently. First Count Norlock's Black and White episode. The second one features a gargoyle guest host. A little behind the scenes gossip. Count Norlock wanted the gargoyle to take over the show after he retired. Unfortunately, the network brass gave the job to Flabber from Big Bad Beetleborgs. The Gargoyle got an offer from CBS and took it (If you don't get the joke here, you've been out of the loop for about a decade).

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

To Know-know-know Phil is to fear-fear-fear Phil

I have the idea that nobody will go along with. I believe rock stars should have diplomatic immunity. On the other hand, I feel that Phil Spector is overrated (I'm more of a Joe Meek fan) and if he is convicted of the death of Lana Clarkson then it will prove the California judicial system in got major problems.

Reuters is reporting (via Yahoo news) that the judge in the Phil Spector case is allowing a former girlfriend to testify about Spector holding a gun to her head on two different instances when she tried to leave his home. There will also be testimony from four other women, who say that Spector threatened them with guns.

As a person with a love of older music, I've read countless interviews with people involved with Spector's Wall of Sound. There are several people who mentioned Spector holding guns to studio musicians heads because they played a note wrong or something.

Also notice a bit of trivia on IMDB about Russ Meyer's movie Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.
"The character of Ronnie "Z-Man" Barzell was based loosely on legendary record producer Phil Spector. While neither Meyer nor Ebert had ever met Spector, they were told by acquaintances of his that they'd caught his essence very well."

At the end of the film, Z-Man has a party at his mansion. He puts a gun in the mouth of a female guest and pulls the trigger. Then, he chases another woman through the house with a gun (he also decapitates a guy with a sword). Coincidence? And what about that song by the Crystals?

"Then he grabbed my arm real tight,
He said I couldn't leave his mansion that night,
I was so scared I almost cried,
And then he Killed me." (Okay, I'm being silly.)

Friday, April 6, 2007

Another Woman Has Chose to Ignore Me

I was delight earlier in the day. I saw another blogger taking me to task for not publishing her "comment." She was upset that I referred to it, jokingly, as "hate mail." She posted a tirade on her sight about me and the contents of her comment.
However, I noticed that she has taken it down and announced that she was just going to "ignore" me. Drat!!! (That is a word that only us Super-Villains are allowed to use) This makes the 469th woman in my life who has chosen to ignore me.
I have an army of robots with laser eyes, 40 different ray guns, a moat filled with alligators, and a torture chamber. WHAT DO WOMEN IN THIS SILLY PART OF THE COUNTRY WANT???

Karma karma karma Sutra with me

My title comes from "Karma Sutra" a (pardon the pun) quickie by Bonzo Dog Band that bridged the gap from Jimmy Jones' "Handy Man" to Culture Club's "Karma Chameleon." This ad for a skin flick at the Studio comes from a 1974 Springfield Daily News. I received a nice e-mail from someone who said they knew the owners of the Studio. According to this nice person, who was very complimentary of my blog, the owners had their children clean the Studio every Sunday morning. I assume they did this before they went to church.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Is That Ah-boot Me?

Doc Larry posted on Lost Chord about an article written in the Community Free Press by Vincent David John Jacob Jingle Himerschmit Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla (who found a kangaroo) Shimmy Shimmy Ko-ko Bop Ramma Lama Ding Dong Do Wah Diddy Diddy Da Do Ron Ron Ron Da Do Ron Ron Gidyup Ooomp Pompa Oooomp Pompa Mow Mow Hiyo Silver Away Banana Fanna Fo Fanna De Doo Doo Doo De Da Da Da (That's all I want to say to you)Gabba Gabba Hey Gabba Hey (Now you're one of us) two all-beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onion on a sesame seed bun, Itsy Bittsy Tiny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Joiner-Kersee Sammy Davis Junior Jericho. For those of you not familiar with the Community Free Press, this is a free newspaper that is found outside the restrooms at Borders. People usually read it in the bathroom there and then leave it on the floor.

Out of curiosity I picked up a copy to see what the hot wind from Canada was blowing. He rambles about not believing the mainstream media, but especially BEWARE OF LOCAL BLOGGERS WHO HIDE BEHIND ALIASES. (GASP! SHOCK!) He says these bloggers say "the most outrageous things" but he can't "challenge them" because he "can't find them because they are anonymous or use an alias." (I assume he is referring to me. I hope so. Mwu-HAHAHAHAHA!)

According to the self-proclaimed king of Springfield talk radio boast that "fate" brought one of these evil bloggers to his office. He says he "challenged" this person but he "lobbed bombs."

Either he is referring to someone else or Talk Radio Guy (the alias he used on the late lamented Missouri Radio message board) is living in a fantasy world where he had a fight with ME. Granted if he cornered me I would probably lob a smoke bomb and jump through a window to escape his "challenge." (Kind of like the Riddler on Batman) More than likely I just stand there and laugh at him.

I would say, "Fool, do you think that you can do anything to stop me, Desdinova the Eternal Light and Super Villain of the Ozarks! Soon everyone in this area will be liberals! I'll rid the area of country music, pick-up trucks and overalls! I'll bring back the Studio, the big sliding board, the amusement rides at Dolling Park, Friday Free Ride, Captain Pink will be mayor and I'll turn KSGF into a reincarnation of KICK! AND YOU CAN"T STOP ME, Vincent David John Jacob Jingle Himerschmit Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla (who found a kangaroo) Shimmy Shimmy Ko-ko Bop Ramma Lama Ding Dong Do Wah Diddy Diddy Da Do Ron Ron Ron Da Do Ron Ron Gidyup Ooomp Pompa Oooomp Pompa Mow Mow Hiyo Silver Away Banana Fanna Fo Fanna De Doo Doo Doo De Da Da Da (That's all I want to say to you)Gabba Gabba Hey Gabba Hey (Now you're one of us) two all-beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onion on a sesame seed bun, Itsy Bittsy Tiny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Joiner-Kersee Sammy Davis Junior Jericho!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"

I should add that the reason I started this blog of my own was because the folks at the Free Press was going to run an editorial blasting me and the other bloggers for making fun of the Talk Radio Guy (He's their hero. Aaahhhhh!) They like to start trouble.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

This Movie Is So Dirty, Satan is Offended

According to the ad in the Springfield Daily News, Spring of 1974, this movie at the Studio was "Banned in Hell." I wonder if Flip Wilson sued over the title for this Exorcist-porn-knock-off.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Michael Jackson: Forget Vegas, Come to Branson

AP is reporting, via Yahoo, that Michael Jackson is considering offers to perform in Las Vegas. You can read it here. I, Desdinova - the Super Villain of the Ozarks, has a better idea. Mr. Jackson, please come to Branson, MO. I think you would be a wonderful addition to the Ozarks. We need you here. There is nothing cool about the Ozarks, you can be (next to me) the COOLEST THING IN THE OZARKS! I'll give you the names of several little kids who would just love to come over to your house and play.

And while we are on the subject of famous people I'd like to see move to the Ozarks, read this little piece about Elfindale Manor. Yes, I'm going to start a committee to help me get Michael Jackson to move to Branson and open a theater (Thriller Theater and Daycare Center?) and Larry Flynt to buy Elfindale, as he had once planned and start publishing Hustler here in Springfield. He can be one of Springfield's Best. If I don't get my way, I'll zap every woman in Springfield with my Hair-Be-Gone Ray. Every woman in Springfield will look like Britney Spears (or Jack Nicholson at the Oscars)! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Thursday, February 15, 2007

The Grammys and an Oscar music award

First off, I was glad to see the Dixie Chicks and Ludacris win Grammys. They beat out that "Bill O'Reilly Sings Love Song About Falafel."

IMDB is reported earlier this week that Italian movie composer Ennio Morricone is disappointed he will receive an honorary Academy Award later this month, because it was his lifelong ambition to avoid winning an Oscar. The 70-year-old Morricone, who has scored over 400 films and is responsible for creating the distinctive scores of Spaghetti Westerns such as Fistful of Dollars, For a Few Dollars More, Navajo Joe and the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. He says, "After five nominations I expected nothing, in fact I hoped I'd remain without an Oscar. I would have remained in the company of illustrious non-winners. I see the Oscar as a little bit of a fluke - even if those who win deserve it. That doesn't mean that I'm not happy about it. I have received so many beautiful, incredible prizes, but there was a little hole. Maybe the Oscar fills the hole." He was also upset that when the announcement was made they called him Hugo Montenegro.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Not to Be Confused with Muppet Babies

From the Springfield Daily News, another ad from the Studio for a film called Rollerbabies. The funny thing is these ads are always next to the program listings for KLFJ, a religious non-com on AM.

Friday, February 9, 2007

Just a suggestion

If we can fly flags at half-mast for Republicans such as Reagan and Ford, then shouldn't we also do the same for Playboy playmates.

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

They said "blow." Huh-huh-huh!

Another ad from the Springfield Daily News for the Studio. I had to use this one because it has the word "blow" in the title. Sorry about the quality of these. They come from microfilms of the newspapers.

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Not Just the Studio

From a 1976 Springfield Daily News: It wasn't just the Studio, but the Gillioz had "X" rated movies. Ah, the Good Ole Days.

Friday, February 2, 2007

25 Years of Lettermen

On February 1, 1982, Late Night with David Letterman debuted on NBC. I was in junior high at the time and could only watch the show in the summer. What I saw of it I liked. Letterman's style of humor made me laugh. I tried to emulate his style in my work. Letterman shows no sign of slowing up. I've really enjoyed his recent battles with that balding, blow-hard Bill O'Reilly. Even after heart surgery a few years back, Letterman could kick both O'Reilly's and Hanity's right-wing butts. Keep up the good work, Dave. I'll celebrate your anniversary by re-reading some of the Top Ten Books.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Let's Bring Back the Studio

I remember in my younger days seeing ads in the Springfield News Leader and Daily News for the Studio. Only recently did I find out what this place was called and where it was (3838 S. Campbell - there is a Panera Bread there now), but I remember the ads fascinated me as a child. The reason: all those X's. I specifically remember a film called Pussy In Boots having four Xs.
That is why I feel it is my duty to remind Springfield and educate the younger people of the existence of such a place. I hope to in coming (NO PUN INTENDED - STOP THAT SNICKERING!) weeks to upload some ads from the old News Leaders and Daily News. I'm also launching a campaign to bring back the Studio. I just feel there should be a family friendly porno theater in this town again.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

A Little Disclaimer.

Maybe I should have posted this first. I feel that in this day of silly disclaimers ('Please do not put child in dish washer' or 'Toliet seat should not be used as a flotation device') I should have one too. There are some very letigious individuals out in our world.

I am not a real super-villain. I don’t really have a death ray or the ability to throw balls of lightning. I’m not trying to take over the world and enslave people. So don't report me to Homeland Security or Springfield PD. You'd end up looking like an idiot.

I’m just a regular guy with an off beat sense of humor, off beat taste in music and (according to some) off beat political views. I’m really a nice guy if you know me. Very little of what you should read here should be taken seriously. I just like to make jokes about things going on and the folly of others. It is like Oscar Wilde said, "Life is too important to be taken seriously." Ozarks tend to be upset about the wrong things.

A few years back a Southern Baptist minister came to the community I grew up. He worked to get the local cable company to drop MTV, tried to get the local newspaper cartoonist fired over a cartoon showing the Southern Baptist lynching Mickey Mouse, and trying to keep grocery stores and restaurants from selling liquor. While all of this was going on there were several unsolved murders, spouse and child abuse increased, hate groups and meth dealers moved in. Eventually people woke up and said, "What happened to our community?" Well, they ignored the real problems while getting upset about things that really didn’t matter.

Getting mad at me won’t do any good. Making a fuss over something I said would be silly, because I’m just being silly myself. Just relax, read and enjoy.

As Red Skelton used to say, "It’s a lot of fun to try and make people laugh because regardless of what your heartache might have been, while laughing for a few seconds you have forgotten about it. I personally believe that each and every one of us put here for a purpose and that is to build and not to destroy. And if by chance someday you’re not feeling well, you should remember some silly little thing that I’ve said or done and it brings back a smile to your face and a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled." (Aren't you glad I didn't quote that highly overated record he made about the Pledge of


Greetings! I am Desdinova the Eternal Light and I bid you welcome. I have decided to create my own blog for several reasons. I usually post on the Missouri Radio Forums, but that message board mysteriously disappeared a few weeks back (oddly enough I had nothing to do with that or the ice storm and power outages – my freeze ray and blackout bomb isn’t working). That board has really gotten bad lately since they started censoring some of the post, but it is a useful diagnostic tool in determining why radio in this market is soooooo boring. I also make comments on some of the local blog comment pages.

I have become quite popular. When people find out my true identity, they say, "Hey, everyone in the newsroom thinks you are great." (I’m quite popular among what I call the REAL MEDIA) I was at the mall one day and saw a Goth/punk boy with my famous ‘catchphrase’ scrawled in Magic Marker on at T-shirt. I’m so proud of that. I’m an underground sensation with the youth of Springfield already.

My hope is to show the youth what Springburg was like when I first came here in the fall of 1987. You could do pretty much anything. Radio was fun. There were not as many stations but they were all trying to compete with each other and having fun at it. I came here to MSU (when it was SMSU) because on my way to school I would flip back and forth between Dr. Don on KWTO-FM and Woody Snow on KXUS-FM and think "That is what I want to do." KWTO-FM ran a program every called Friday Free Ride.

Unfortunately, things in Springburg took at turn for the worse when a crazy state rep through a hissy fit over the SMSU theater department’s production of the Larry Kramer play The Normal Heart. From that point on, many in the local media became afraid of their own shadow. You frequently hear people say, "Oh we can’t do that here in the Ozarks" or "We can do that it would upset the Ozarkers."

First of all, who are these "Ozarkers" we are so afraid of – a creepy Lovecraftian cult or a cabal of cranky fundies, Republicans, rednecks, old people and other riff raff. Second of all, THAT IS WHY I GOT INTO THE INDUSTRY – TO UPSET THE PEOPLE MENTIONED ABOVE.

Then came the big mistake the radio industry made on a national scale. I was a media major at the SMSU. There was a buzz in Rolling Stone and other music magazines about the ‘college radio’ scene. It was believed that college DJs would revolutionize the industry by playing new alternative, artist, mixed with older artist and some mainstream hits in a freeform style. One of the instructors played our class some tapes of these stations and we liked it. We felt good about being in radio.

Then the teacher played a tape of a new syndicated show that was becoming very popular in some of the major markets. It was the worse thing I ever heard. It sounded like a bad Southern Baptist preacher blabbing about ‘feminist Nazis’ and ‘tree hugger.’ We all said to each other, "Who would listen to this crap?"
The radio industry decided that radio listeners wanted and they put all their resources into making Rush Limbaugh and his nasty little talk radio buddies the main focus of the industry. They allowed consultants and others to alternative rock stations into another highly structured format.

This area of course has become obsessed with talk. They think that every rock station should be changed to talk. When I was a kid, every time I found a station that played the music I liked, someone would buy it and change it to country.

When the radio industry put all of its eggs into the talk radio basket, they started driving away the youth audience. Radio drove its geese to a poor market with talk radio.

Also I’m finding out that the industry in this area wants to be boring. I have produced spots for local radio and been called on the carpet (by cranky listeners and people who work in the industry) for putting music in spots and sound effects. Apparently that ‘bothers’ listeners. I SAY TOUGH DARTS. I PLAN TO PUT GUN SHOTS, SIRENS, CAR ALARMS, EXPLOSIONS, SCREAMING WOMEN, FINGER NAILS ON CHALK BOARD ON THE RADIO AND NONE OF YOU WILL STOP ME!!!

That is why I am here. To make mischief and break the rules of what I call "Ozark Correctness." I hope you enjoy this blog. I have some surprises for everyone AND NONE OF YOU WILL STOP ME!!!!

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