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Tuesday, August 31, 2010


I had a news director at one local radio station that ordered me to write traffic accident reports so that it sounded as if the younger person caused the accident. Even if the Missouri State Highway Patrol said in their report that the older driver was at fault, the younger driver was to be fingered as the cause of the accident because, "Older listeners and the advertisers like it that way. That way if an advertiser caused the accident, they won't be upset with us." That news director also wrote several negative stories about youth because "the older listeners like to hear bad things about teenagers."

Reuters/MSNBC had a story to about research conducted in German on this subject. Yes, old people do like negative stories about young people. I believe that many news organizations in the Ozarks (News Leader???) feel as my former news director did and these German researchers have shown. However, THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT THE NEGATIVE YOUTH STORIES NEED TO TAKE PRECEDENT OVER POSITIVE STORIES ABOUT YOUNG PEOPLE!!!

After all, you are reporting the news, not writing for 21 Jump Street.

Of course, opinions, like this one, is why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


Call me old fashion, but I prefer scripted TV shows over reality shows. I have caught some of my family members watching a really creepy reality show 19 Kids & Counting starring the Duggar family of Tontitown, Arkansas. These people scare me. They make the Waltons look cool. What if people tried to emulate them? If I'm going to watch a reality show, I want it to be about a normal family like the Osbournes.

Of course, opinions like this is why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Friday, August 27, 2010


I realize many people of my generation will hate this post. There will even be some Baby Boomers that will hate this post.

In TV history, there were two cops shows that featured young people going undercover to investigate crimes involving other youth. These shows were the Mod Squad, which ran from 1968 to 1973. The other was 21 Jump Street, which ran from 1987 to 1991.

I remember watching an episode of 21 Jump Street when it first air on the then-new Fox Network and thinking, "This show sucks. I hope they come up with a better show than this or this network with go the way of Dumont and Overmyer Networks." The show not only ran longer than I expected, but Fox has survived, thanks to several great shows like the Simpsons, Family Guy and In Living Color.

It was about this time that a purchased a book called The Best of Crime and Detective TV: The Critics Choice by John Javna and Max Allan Collins. In this book, they list the TV show, Mod Squad, as one of the worst cop shows ever. They practically trash the show (They also slam Charlie's Angels, which makes me wonder about these guys).

I had only seen the Mod Squad reunion movie from the late 70's, but I still thought it probably had to be better than 21 Jump Street for the simple reason it was made in the late 60s/early 70s. As many of you readers know I have always had a special place for the psychedelic era.

I bought a VHS tape a few years ago that featured two episodes of the Mod Squad. I liked it quite a bit and wanted to buy another, but they were taken off the market for some reason. A year ago, I bought a DVD of the first season of the Mod Squad. It featured a longer version of the pilot episode which was on the VHS tape I had earlier. I have enjoyed it very much and plan to buy another DVD set of the show.

A few nights ago, I found the entire first season of 21 Jump Street on DVD at Wal-Mart for $5. I wondered if my opinion of 21 Jump Street would have changed after seeing more than one episode of the Mod Squad. Maybe I would be blown away by the show which gave us Johnny Depp. It turns out, I was right the first time I saw the show. It still sucks.

While people often malign the Mod Squad for being dated, 21 Jump Street is a product of it's time too. It comes with the things of the 80s that I hated. Bad part is some of those attitudes are still with us, thanks to the Fox News Network. As a matter of fact, I suspect that Bill O'Reilly wrote a few of these scripts under an alias. I bet Sarah Palin was a Jump Street fan.

The Mod Squad was from the age of peace, love and "Do Your Own Thing," while 21 Jump Street was from the age of "Just Say No," "Positive Peer Pressure," "overachieving" and "Vigilante Justice." Also, the characters on 21 Jump Street wear the clothes of that era that my mom forced me to wear. When I moved out and went to SMSU, I started dressing more like the Mod Squad.

First off, let's discuss the theme song and opening credits. The theme song of the Mod Squad was composed by Earl Hagen. Hagen created a tough and fast pasted cops show theme, augmented by a psychedelic/garage band organ. The visual was the main characters running through a dark warehouse.

The 21 Jump Street open featured a theme song sung by the cast that sounded like a bad Debbie Gibson song ("You're gonna learn something when we meet you after school" GAG!). The visuals were goofy clips of the cast from episodes. This gives you the impression you are watching a bad sitcom.

The overall plot of the shows are different in that Peter, Linc and Julie ("One White, One Black and One Blonde") were juvenile delinquents paying their debt to society by becoming undercover detectives. They did carry guns or badges. They often questioned the ethics of what they were doing. Yes, they do use quite a bit of the slang of that era. Pete seems to use the word "heavy" a lot, Julie says "groovy" quite a bit and Linc made the phrase, "Solid, Brother" a part of TV history.

On 21 Jump Street, Hanson, Penhall, Hoffs and Loki are cops who look young enough to infiltrate high schools. They carry guns and badges. When the Jump Street cops aren't whining about lawyers and judges "letting off" the people they bust, they insult each other.

The villains on Mod Squad are never the kids, but old, white guys trying to make a money by selling drugs or killing young people. One villain, played by Dabney Colman (Who else?) tells his sister, "Your hippie friends are driving down the value of my real estate." One villain is a Bill O'Reilly-ish talk show who tries to rape Julie. Yes, the message of the Mod Squad could be "No such thing as a bad kid" and "Don't trust anyone over 30."

On the other hand, 21 Jump Street embedded with the 80's idea of "young-people-are-evil." The criminal is always young. Everything from gun toting gang members taking a school hostage to a group of cocaine pushing, preppy-boys who gang-rape/murder a girl to sexually-repressed, pyromaniac Catholic school girls (No, I didn't make this last one up).

Jump Street episodes usually end with a PSA/lecture from the cast about under-age drinking, drug abuse or abstenence. Mod Squad ended with a crane shot of the characters and somber jazz music as the characters contemplate what just happened. Truth is the Mod Squad has a more expensive look to it than Jump Street.

Yes, this has probably been a useless rant, but I had to get this out of my system. I'm sorry Johnny Depp couldn't have been like Clint Eastwood, John Travolta or Bruce Lee and gotten his start on a good show. As a matter of fact, he has said he hated the show.

Just remember, the Maharishi says never drink campaign from a paper cup. Solid, Brother!

Sunday, August 15, 2010


There has been quite a bit of attention aimed at JetBlue flight attendant Steven Slater, who got feed up with dealing with obnoxious passengers. After one passenger bludgeoned him with a suitcase and then called him a derogatory name, he told the passenger off over the plane's intercom, grabbed a beer off the drink cart and slid down the inflatable emergency exit slide.

The Washington Post reports that many flight attendants see Steven Slater as a hero and are glad that he brought to public attention the kind of bad behavior they have to put up with from airline passengers.

It is not just flight attendants. I'm hearing from people in both food service and retail here in the Ozarks. They think what Slater did was cool and would like to do it themselves. As one person told me this week, "I've worked in stores in K.C and St. Louis, but people in Springfield are the worst. They think want everything their way and if you don't give it to them they complain to management to get you fired."

I was shocked to learn from a person, who works for a national retail chain, that Springfield customers frequently removed the store's signage from displays and throw it in the trash. Why? "They said it was in the way."

Part of the problem is the whole "customer-is-always-right" philosophy. At one point in our nations history, this was probably good business practice. TIMES HAVE CHANGED.

The customer now exploits this to their ill-gotten advantage. They have employees over a barrel and if they don't get their way they can get them fired.

Since this story broke, I have made jokes about the radio station I work at needing an "inflatable emergency slide." When I worked in Lebanon at a country station, I thought the country music audience were the worst people to deal with. I moved to Springfield to work at a large cluster and found out that there is an audience worst than country to deal with: TALK RADIO LISTENERS. Talk radio listeners are conditioned by idiots like Rush, Hanity, Dr. Laura, and Beck to be angry, hateful and self-righteous. They also are told, by the host, not to trust radio station employees because we are part of the "evil media." All technical problems during their show are caused by us "evil employees at the local affiliate" because we got into radio to play "evil Communist-Satanic rock music" and we will do anything to keep the "good, Christian, patriotic, conservative, Midwestern, white, heterosexual, senior citizen" talk radio listeners from hearing what these overpaid idiots have to say. I get abused by more deranged old white people than I deserve.

I got into the industry to entertain young people because most of the Ozarks radio markets ignore them. I did not get into radio (or the media) to pander to old, white, conservative bigots with more money than me.

Another thing, I got into the industry to be on the radio - to be the star. These scum-sucking old, white, conservative bigots get more airtime to give their hateful, bigoted right-wing opinions on the radio because just by calling in to shows. Even if the show was about needlepoint these stupid, scummy old people will call-in and start talking that Birther trash or how they are against gay marriage.

I can't believe that the radio industry thinks some old white goober named Wendell has anything important to say! AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THOSE CHILD ABUSING, METH MAKING MORONS IN THE TEA PARTY MOVEMENT!

I find it interesting that the people who get mad when I complain about the abuse I suffer from these old talk radio listening scumbags, as well as complain about the media for turning Steven Slater in to a hero, usually have some worthless non-job like "adventure capitalist" or "pet transport."

One day I'll fix these old goats. I'll top Slater's exit by slide. I plan to play at CD of "If You Seek Amy" by Britney Spears during Rush Limbaugh. I'm going to Crazy Glue it in the CD player so nobody can stop it. None of the old coots who like Rush Limbaugh better than me will be able to hear what their fat overpaid savior has to say. Then, as my favorite Dr. Sues character would say, "They will all cry boo-hoo-hoo."


Wednesday, August 4, 2010


The passing of Proposition C proves what I have thought ever since I was a small boy: Missouri is an awful place to live because it is filled with stupid people (pictured above).

Proposition C is just another chapter in the long and idiotic history of Missouri trying to keep any "evil" outside influence from crossing out state line.

I first became aware of this asinine practice of Missouri lawmakers when I was a child. You would see the words VOID IN MISSOURI in fine print. This meant that some stupid adult in Jefferson City was going to keep you from getting a neat prize or having any fun. You would see and ad in a comic book for a cool contest or offer for something you couldn't get at Wal-mart or Mattinglys 5 & 10, but at the bottom of the ad was the dreaded VOID IN MISSOURI.

"Win a Trip to Disney World" VOID IN MISSOURI!

"Win a Pool Party with Charlie's Angels" VOID IN MISSOURI!

"Win the Chance to Go On Tour with Kiss!" VOID IN MISSOURI!

"Win a Visit from Mork from Ork to Your School!" VOID IN MISSOURI!

"Win Every Marvel Comic Book Ever Published" VOID IN MISSOURI!

"Win Your Own Private McDonalds" VOID IN MISSOURI!

It wasn't only contest. There were even things for sale that were VOID IN MISSOURI! I remember having to give my sister's address in Oklahoma, just to order a Star Wars t-shirt. Apparently some nitwit in Jefferson City felt threatened by a skinny eight year old in Lebanon wearing a t-shirt with R2D2 and C3PO. A dollar to donuts says that the idiot that came up with the VOID IN MISSOURI law was elected by voters in Greene and Christian County (pictured above).

Much of this garbage comes from a group of privileged individuals who can control what rules are made from the State of Missouri down to the local school board. They make rules that punish people like me. Since they have the money and power, they want all the good stuff to be available to people with money and power. In Missouri, and the Ozarks especially, you only get to do something if your family is Republican or your family is Southern Baptist. They also like to require you to have good grades in elementary or high school (Good grades in college don't count - this called the Rush Limbaugh clause).

So now the idiotic voters in Missouri are going to keep the President's health care plan out of the hands of Missouri residents. It is like I'm eight years old all over again. Not only do I not have enough health insurance, but I also haven't met Mork, Kiss, Charlie's Angels nor do I own every Marvel comic book or a McDonalds. I hope all the stupid conservative hillbillies who voted "yes" on Proposition C get a major disease! (The people who voted "yes" on Proposition C are pictured above)

Of course, opinions, like these, are why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


I've noticed some of the other bloggers on SGF Blogs have published original fiction on their blog sites. I'm considering trying this. I thought it would be interesting to write a series of comical/satiric novels about myself - Desdinova the Super Villain of the Ozarks.

There have been very few super villains who have been the main character in a series of novels. The only ones I can think of are Sax Rohmer's Fu Manchu and Thomas Harris' Hannibal Lecter. In each novel, Desdinova would commit a crime that would horrify the Ozarks, but would probably not be taken seriously in California, New York or even Oklahoma. The local authorities would be so incompetent that they would be unable to stop Desdinova.

The plot of the first novel would be similar to John Wyndham's The Midwich Cuckoos, which has been filmed twice under the title the Village of the Damned. The plot is also based on the old joke about "something in the water."

Desdinova develops a technique called "covert hydro fertilization." He uses this technique to impregnate women attending a convention for Republican women through complimentary bottled water given to those attending. The women are not only shocked that they are pregnant (since Republicans don't have sex) but their pregnancies only last three weeks.

Once the children are born, they begin to grow and mature rapidly. The boys, who all look like the cute little boy pictured above, have a maniacal laugh (Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!). They do horrible things to embarrass their parents in front of their rich friends. Slowly they begin to try and bump off their parents. That is when it is discovered that they are under the power of Desdinova and their goal is world domination! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Just an idea so far.

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