FOR COUNTRY MUSIC HATERS LIKE ME

DESDINOVA'S CHRISTMAS MESSAGE

WOMEN: STOP MARRYING JERKS!!!

ARTIST RENDERING OF THE AVERAGE DOUCHE BAG

I stopped update this blog on a regular basis to concentrate on the retro blog, because my opinions were causing problems with my work. I've supposedly been blacklisted by one company in Springfield and maybe a few others around the area that I don't know about. However, I feel this is a topic that needs attention. The problem is women dating, marrying and reproducing with jerks, douche bags and knuckle dragging A-holes (pictured above).

What made me want to write this post? I was eating dinner at Qdoba a few nights ago, when one of these guys came in. Like the illustration above, he had a buzz cut and was wearing Razor sunglasses. He also had three kids with him but no wife. This guy yelled at these kids and treated them like they were prisoners in a work yard. The bad part is these kids were not doing anything wrong. He was yelling stuff like, "Don't look at people!," "Don't walk so fast!," "Don't walk so slow!," and "Don't breath to loud!"

Later, when his four year old son began crying, he smacked the kid upside the head and screamed at him "MEN DON'T CRY." The only break his kids got from his relentless bullying was when he would walk out to his gigantic, blue, G-M-C pickup truck with tractor-size tires and talk on his phone. I'm sure if I saw his truck's bumper, it is probably covered in tea party and anti-Obama bumper stickers. He would come back in and tell his kids, "I am watching you through the window and if I see any misbehaving I will spank you. DO YOU HEAR ME?"

To make things more infuriating, some old white woman told him that she "wanted to compliment him on the fine job he was doing keep your children disciplined." AAARRRGGGGH!!! DON'T ENCOURAGE THIS JERK, LADY!!!

This post is a message to women everywhere, but especially to women here in the Ozarks: STOP MARRYING AND REPRODUCING WITH GUYS LIKE THIS!!! What do women see in guys like this?  I'm 45 years old and can't get a date to save my life, yet guys like this are married and, usually, have three or four girlfriends on the side. These guys also are not above backhanding their girlfriends or wives like Bjorn Borg would a Wilson #3 tennis ball. Matter of fact, these are the guys you see on the local news that shake babies and throw them against the wall.

Here are some signs to look for that the guy you are interested in is a jerk or douche bag of this nature.

1. He listens to talk radio and waxes nostalgic for Vincent David Jericho and Chuck Booms.
2. When asked about music, he says the Beatles, Nirvana and Bob Dylan are overrated, then admits he has all of Ted Nugent's CDs.
3. Spends much of his free time going on websites and trashing Lady Gaga and Katy Perry. He also likes to slam Brad Pitt on the KY-3 Facebook site.
4. Speaking of Facebook, he frequently shares those stupid Grumpy Cat memes.
5. The characters in teen movies that he identifies with are:

   

   DOUGLAS NEDEMEYER

THE OGRE

Ladies, take my advice, you should never fall in love with a guy like this. There are too many of them out their. You would be better off with a charming, funny guy like me.

Of course, this is the kind of opinion that has made me the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

 

WORST JOB l EVER HAD - WATERLESS COOKWARE SALESMAN (While Bullied by Texans)

I thought the readers still subscribing to the old blog would enjoy this post from my current blog.

WKBT's JENNIFER LIVINGSTON IS MY NEW HERO

I have posted anything on this blog in awhile. I prefer the more fun and less controversial post on the retro blog. However, I wanted to comment on this story because it hits home to me. Since I'm involved in the Countdown to Halloween, I decided to post this here since it is also in keeping with many of the themes of this blog.

Not since Jet Blue flight attendant Steven Slater have I been so proud of someone for standing up for themselves. No doubt you have seen this video of WKBT anchor Jennifer Livingston responding to a hateful e-mail from a viewer.

I'm glad management let her strike back at the idiot that wrote that hateful e-mail. From my experience in the media here in the Ozarks, if one person sends the station or newspaper an asinine complaint about an on-air person, that on-air person loses their job or gets "reassigned."

Some people are leaving snide remarks on You Tube and Facebook attack Livingston for doing this. These people do not realize the stupid crap that we in the media put up with from some people. She referred to this person as a "bully" and that is as accurate a description of many of these people.

Many people complain about silly things like hearing a commercial too often or the radio station is playing too many African-American artist (Sadly, that is a frequent complaint in the Ozarks and they usually don't use the term "African-American" when they make this complaint). I even worked at a country radio station (Don't hold it against me) where a woman complained that we played too many songs "which portrayed spousal abuse in a negative way" and "took the women's side when the husband is usually the victim." We had to stop playing "Thunder Rolls" by Garth Brooks, "Broken Wings" by Martina McBride and "Goodbye Earl" by the Dixie Chicks. Only in the Ozarks do we giving into the request of the proud mother of a wife beater.

People also don't realize there are people who do nothing but make complaints to the media. These people must have about six TVs tuned to each station and several radios on at all times, so they can hear or see something to complain about. Everyone in the media in this town knows these people, because they have all had to deal with these stupid people. Now these people are even more obnoxious, because they can friend every TV and radio station, every on-air personality or newscaster and attack them when ever they want. They also now have the advantage of suckering in more stupid right-wing, media bashing nut jobs to help them. This, of course, goes along with my last post.

Much of this comes from one simple factor, these people who make these complaints do not think that people in the media are human beings. They would just as soon see us unemployed or dead. Many of these media complainers do this for attention. I doubt these people would want anyone to criticize them at their job, but they see no problem lashing out at those of us in the media.

If the managers of media outlets would ignore these people or allow the on-air talent to address these critics, as Jennifer Livingston so eloquently did, rather than giving in to them, we have less of this hateful bullying toward talented, dedicated people trying to provide people with the information they need. Let's face it, if Ozarkers had their way, all of the highly intelligent journalist would be replaced with Baptist preachers or auctioneers with big cowboy hats.

Of course, opinions, like this one, is why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  

VIDEO: WKBT Anchor Jennifer Livingston’s On-Air Response to Viewer Complaint About Her Weight - TVSpy

WHAT HAPPENED TO POKING FUN AT SQUARES?

The New Adventures of Desdinova the Super Villain of the Ozarks: WHAT HAPPENED TO POKING FUN AT SQUARES?: Over time the portrayals of certain groups of people have changed over the years. You can see many horrible politically incorrect images i...

PARENTS IN THE OZARKS ARE ANAL FASCIST

I'm hearing commercials on local radio for a company called Federal Protection. They are a home security firm, which is okay. What I find ludicrous about their ads is the claims that they can text you when "the kids get home from school." They also will "notify you" if someone "opens your liquor cabinet." This is probably used by the same goofy Ozarks parents, who have Net Nanny on their computers and block MTV and the Cartoon Network on the television. Probably these people have the Ozarks spanking fetish.

Trust me on this folks, I could have used a good stiff drink when I got home from school.

Of course, an opinion, like this one, is why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

OLD PEOPLE ENJOY NEGATIVE STORIES ABOUT YOUNG PEOPLE

I had a news director at one local radio station that ordered me to write traffic accident reports so that it sounded as if the younger person caused the accident. Even if the Missouri State Highway Patrol said in their report that the older driver was at fault, the younger driver was to be fingered as the cause of the accident because, "Older listeners and the advertisers like it that way. That way if an advertiser caused the accident, they won't be upset with us." That news director also wrote several negative stories about youth because "the older listeners like to hear bad things about teenagers."

Reuters/MSNBC had a story to about research conducted in German on this subject. Yes, old people do like negative stories about young people. I believe that many news organizations in the Ozarks (News Leader???) feel as my former news director did and these German researchers have shown. However, THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT THE NEGATIVE YOUTH STORIES NEED TO TAKE PRECEDENT OVER POSITIVE STORIES ABOUT YOUNG PEOPLE!!!

After all, you are reporting the news, not writing for 21 Jump Street.

Of course, opinions, like this one, is why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

THE MOD SQUAD WAS COOLER THAN 21 JUMP STREET (Sorry Johnny Depp)

I realize many people of my generation will hate this post. There will even be some Baby Boomers that will hate this post.

In TV history, there were two cops shows that featured young people going undercover to investigate crimes involving other youth. These shows were the Mod Squad, which ran from 1968 to 1973. The other was 21 Jump Street, which ran from 1987 to 1991.

I remember watching an episode of 21 Jump Street when it first air on the then-new Fox Network and thinking, "This show sucks. I hope they come up with a better show than this or this network with go the way of Dumont and Overmyer Networks." The show not only ran longer than I expected, but Fox has survived, thanks to several great shows like the Simpsons, Family Guy and In Living Color.

It was about this time that a purchased a book called The Best of Crime and Detective TV: The Critics Choice by John Javna and Max Allan Collins. In this book, they list the TV show, Mod Squad, as one of the worst cop shows ever. They practically trash the show (They also slam Charlie's Angels, which makes me wonder about these guys).

I had only seen the Mod Squad reunion movie from the late 70's, but I still thought it probably had to be better than 21 Jump Street for the simple reason it was made in the late 60s/early 70s. As many of you readers know I have always had a special place for the psychedelic era.

I bought a VHS tape a few years ago that featured two episodes of the Mod Squad. I liked it quite a bit and wanted to buy another, but they were taken off the market for some reason. A year ago, I bought a DVD of the first season of the Mod Squad. It featured a longer version of the pilot episode which was on the VHS tape I had earlier. I have enjoyed it very much and plan to buy another DVD set of the show.

A few nights ago, I found the entire first season of 21 Jump Street on DVD at Wal-Mart for $5. I wondered if my opinion of 21 Jump Street would have changed after seeing more than one episode of the Mod Squad. Maybe I would be blown away by the show which gave us Johnny Depp. It turns out, I was right the first time I saw the show. It still sucks.

While people often malign the Mod Squad for being dated, 21 Jump Street is a product of it's time too. It comes with the things of the 80s that I hated. Bad part is some of those attitudes are still with us, thanks to the Fox News Network. As a matter of fact, I suspect that Bill O'Reilly wrote a few of these scripts under an alias. I bet Sarah Palin was a Jump Street fan.

The Mod Squad was from the age of peace, love and "Do Your Own Thing," while 21 Jump Street was from the age of "Just Say No," "Positive Peer Pressure," "overachieving" and "Vigilante Justice." Also, the characters on 21 Jump Street wear the clothes of that era that my mom forced me to wear. When I moved out and went to SMSU, I started dressing more like the Mod Squad.

First off, let's discuss the theme song and opening credits. The theme song of the Mod Squad was composed by Earl Hagen. Hagen created a tough and fast pasted cops show theme, augmented by a psychedelic/garage band organ. The visual was the main characters running through a dark warehouse.

The 21 Jump Street open featured a theme song sung by the cast that sounded like a bad Debbie Gibson song ("You're gonna learn something when we meet you after school" GAG!). The visuals were goofy clips of the cast from episodes. This gives you the impression you are watching a bad sitcom.

The overall plot of the shows are different in that Peter, Linc and Julie ("One White, One Black and One Blonde") were juvenile delinquents paying their debt to society by becoming undercover detectives. They did carry guns or badges. They often questioned the ethics of what they were doing. Yes, they do use quite a bit of the slang of that era. Pete seems to use the word "heavy" a lot, Julie says "groovy" quite a bit and Linc made the phrase, "Solid, Brother" a part of TV history.

On 21 Jump Street, Hanson, Penhall, Hoffs and Loki are cops who look young enough to infiltrate high schools. They carry guns and badges. When the Jump Street cops aren't whining about lawyers and judges "letting off" the people they bust, they insult each other.

The villains on Mod Squad are never the kids, but old, white guys trying to make a money by selling drugs or killing young people. One villain, played by Dabney Colman (Who else?) tells his sister, "Your hippie friends are driving down the value of my real estate." One villain is a Bill O'Reilly-ish talk show who tries to rape Julie. Yes, the message of the Mod Squad could be "No such thing as a bad kid" and "Don't trust anyone over 30."

On the other hand, 21 Jump Street embedded with the 80's idea of "young-people-are-evil." The criminal is always young. Everything from gun toting gang members taking a school hostage to a group of cocaine pushing, preppy-boys who gang-rape/murder a girl to sexually-repressed, pyromaniac Catholic school girls (No, I didn't make this last one up).

Jump Street episodes usually end with a PSA/lecture from the cast about under-age drinking, drug abuse or abstenence. Mod Squad ended with a crane shot of the characters and somber jazz music as the characters contemplate what just happened. Truth is the Mod Squad has a more expensive look to it than Jump Street.

Yes, this has probably been a useless rant, but I had to get this out of my system. I'm sorry Johnny Depp couldn't have been like Clint Eastwood, John Travolta or Bruce Lee and gotten his start on a good show. As a matter of fact, he has said he hated the show.

Just remember, the Maharishi says never drink campaign from a paper cup. Solid, Brother!

"HIT THE SLIDE & RIDE" WHY STEVEN SLATER'S IS A HERO?

There has been quite a bit of attention aimed at JetBlue flight attendant Steven Slater, who got feed up with dealing with obnoxious passengers. After one passenger bludgeoned him with a suitcase and then called him a derogatory name, he told the passenger off over the plane's intercom, grabbed a beer off the drink cart and slid down the inflatable emergency exit slide.

The Washington Post reports that many flight attendants see Steven Slater as a hero and are glad that he brought to public attention the kind of bad behavior they have to put up with from airline passengers.

It is not just flight attendants. I'm hearing from people in both food service and retail here in the Ozarks. They think what Slater did was cool and would like to do it themselves. As one person told me this week, "I've worked in stores in K.C and St. Louis, but people in Springfield are the worst. They think want everything their way and if you don't give it to them they complain to management to get you fired."

I was shocked to learn from a person, who works for a national retail chain, that Springfield customers frequently removed the store's signage from displays and throw it in the trash. Why? "They said it was in the way."

Part of the problem is the whole "customer-is-always-right" philosophy. At one point in our nations history, this was probably good business practice. TIMES HAVE CHANGED.

The customer now exploits this to their ill-gotten advantage. They have employees over a barrel and if they don't get their way they can get them fired.

Since this story broke, I have made jokes about the radio station I work at needing an "inflatable emergency slide." When I worked in Lebanon at a country station, I thought the country music audience were the worst people to deal with. I moved to Springfield to work at a large cluster and found out that there is an audience worst than country to deal with: TALK RADIO LISTENERS. Talk radio listeners are conditioned by idiots like Rush, Hanity, Dr. Laura, and Beck to be angry, hateful and self-righteous. They also are told, by the host, not to trust radio station employees because we are part of the "evil media." All technical problems during their show are caused by us "evil employees at the local affiliate" because we got into radio to play "evil Communist-Satanic rock music" and we will do anything to keep the "good, Christian, patriotic, conservative, Midwestern, white, heterosexual, senior citizen" talk radio listeners from hearing what these overpaid idiots have to say. I get abused by more deranged old white people than I deserve.

I got into the industry to entertain young people because most of the Ozarks radio markets ignore them. I did not get into radio (or the media) to pander to old, white, conservative bigots with more money than me.

Another thing, I got into the industry to be on the radio - to be the star. These scum-sucking old, white, conservative bigots get more airtime to give their hateful, bigoted right-wing opinions on the radio because just by calling in to shows. Even if the show was about needlepoint these stupid, scummy old people will call-in and start talking that Birther trash or how they are against gay marriage.

I can't believe that the radio industry thinks some old white goober named Wendell has anything important to say! AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THOSE CHILD ABUSING, METH MAKING MORONS IN THE TEA PARTY MOVEMENT!

I find it interesting that the people who get mad when I complain about the abuse I suffer from these old talk radio listening scumbags, as well as complain about the media for turning Steven Slater in to a hero, usually have some worthless non-job like "adventure capitalist" or "pet transport."

One day I'll fix these old goats. I'll top Slater's exit by slide. I plan to play at CD of "If You Seek Amy" by Britney Spears during Rush Limbaugh. I'm going to Crazy Glue it in the CD player so nobody can stop it. None of the old coots who like Rush Limbaugh better than me will be able to hear what their fat overpaid savior has to say. Then, as my favorite Dr. Sues character would say, "They will all cry boo-hoo-hoo."

And I will laugh, "Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

VOID IN MISSOURI

The passing of Proposition C proves what I have thought ever since I was a small boy: Missouri is an awful place to live because it is filled with stupid people (pictured above).

Proposition C is just another chapter in the long and idiotic history of Missouri trying to keep any "evil" outside influence from crossing out state line.

I first became aware of this asinine practice of Missouri lawmakers when I was a child. You would see the words VOID IN MISSOURI in fine print. This meant that some stupid adult in Jefferson City was going to keep you from getting a neat prize or having any fun. You would see and ad in a comic book for a cool contest or offer for something you couldn't get at Wal-mart or Mattinglys 5 & 10, but at the bottom of the ad was the dreaded VOID IN MISSOURI.

"Win a Trip to Disney World" VOID IN MISSOURI!

"Win a Pool Party with Charlie's Angels" VOID IN MISSOURI!

"Win the Chance to Go On Tour with Kiss!" VOID IN MISSOURI!

"Win a Visit from Mork from Ork to Your School!" VOID IN MISSOURI!

"Win Every Marvel Comic Book Ever Published" VOID IN MISSOURI!

"Win Your Own Private McDonalds" VOID IN MISSOURI!

It wasn't only contest. There were even things for sale that were VOID IN MISSOURI! I remember having to give my sister's address in Oklahoma, just to order a Star Wars t-shirt. Apparently some nitwit in Jefferson City felt threatened by a skinny eight year old in Lebanon wearing a t-shirt with R2D2 and C3PO. A dollar to donuts says that the idiot that came up with the VOID IN MISSOURI law was elected by voters in Greene and Christian County (pictured above).

Much of this garbage comes from a group of privileged individuals who can control what rules are made from the State of Missouri down to the local school board. They make rules that punish people like me. Since they have the money and power, they want all the good stuff to be available to people with money and power. In Missouri, and the Ozarks especially, you only get to do something if your family is Republican or your family is Southern Baptist. They also like to require you to have good grades in elementary or high school (Good grades in college don't count - this called the Rush Limbaugh clause).

So now the idiotic voters in Missouri are going to keep the President's health care plan out of the hands of Missouri residents. It is like I'm eight years old all over again. Not only do I not have enough health insurance, but I also haven't met Mork, Kiss, Charlie's Angels nor do I own every Marvel comic book or a McDonalds. I hope all the stupid conservative hillbillies who voted "yes" on Proposition C get a major disease! (The people who voted "yes" on Proposition C are pictured above)

Of course, opinions, like these, are why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

IDEA FOR A DESDINOVA NOVEL

I've noticed some of the other bloggers on SGF Blogs have published original fiction on their blog sites. I'm considering trying this. I thought it would be interesting to write a series of comical/satiric novels about myself - Desdinova the Super Villain of the Ozarks.

There have been very few super villains who have been the main character in a series of novels. The only ones I can think of are Sax Rohmer's Fu Manchu and Thomas Harris' Hannibal Lecter. In each novel, Desdinova would commit a crime that would horrify the Ozarks, but would probably not be taken seriously in California, New York or even Oklahoma. The local authorities would be so incompetent that they would be unable to stop Desdinova.

The plot of the first novel would be similar to John Wyndham's The Midwich Cuckoos, which has been filmed twice under the title the Village of the Damned. The plot is also based on the old joke about "something in the water."

Desdinova develops a technique called "covert hydro fertilization." He uses this technique to impregnate women attending a convention for Republican women through complimentary bottled water given to those attending. The women are not only shocked that they are pregnant (since Republicans don't have sex) but their pregnancies only last three weeks.

Once the children are born, they begin to grow and mature rapidly. The boys, who all look like the cute little boy pictured above, have a maniacal laugh (Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!). They do horrible things to embarrass their parents in front of their rich friends. Slowly they begin to try and bump off their parents. That is when it is discovered that they are under the power of Desdinova and their goal is world domination! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Just an idea so far.

WASN'T MY GENERATION SUPPOSED TO CHANGE RADIO FOR THE BETTER?

Once again, I've decided to travel back into time to my SMSU days. I've been reflective lately on all the hope and promise of those days that has been largely stomped on the repressive Ozarks culture.

Let's look at one facet of my media career, which is radio. As a media major, I studied newspaper, radio and television. I had a particular interest in radio. Part of this came from the simple fact that i was always interested in improving the local radio scene. I used to do some DXing late at night as a kid and I felt that many of the local radio station needed to be more like the major market stations. It was my destiny to try to change things around here, especially KWLT FM 92 and KJEL in Lebanon.

Another thing that energized my interest in radio, was an article in Rolling Stone about college radio was becoming a big influence in the music world. Rolling Stone and Billboard both had college rock charts. According to Rolling Stone, the young people in college radio were going to revitalize radio with their creativity and free-form programming.

The only radio stations in Springfield offering internships were KTTS, KTXR and KSMU. Rumor has it one of the rock stations in town stopped offering internships because they didn't want any college kids telling people about rampant cocaine use by the staff. I took an internship at KSMU, because they allowed students to program their own music on the Midnight Snack show. I used to listen to the Midnight Snack in Lebanon. It was there that I first fell in love with the Sex Pistols, Ramones and the various paisley underground bands.

College radio eventually beat mainstream radio to probably the greatest band of the 90's, Nirvana. Springfield even had a radio station playing college rock, Z105 the Planet. Yes, it looked liked my generation (now dubbed Generation X by the press). SO WHAT HAPPENED???

Several factors played into our lack of power in 2010. The major explanation goes back to the Telecom Act of 1996, which opened the door for the large radio corporations like Clear Channel, Cumulus, Journal and Citadel. Here is hoping the FCC reverses all this consolidation soon. With consolidation, most creative program directors lost their power in favor on PD for the whole country. Sadly, most of these companies adapted the attitude that "only country and talk are profitable in the post 9-11 society" and many alternative station were changed to something else. So then, why has radio lost so much money and listeners in the past few years? Could it be you are driving away listeners with that talk and country garbage?

A major problem that isn't talked about is the animosity and resistance faced us Generation X-college-radio-trained-talent from an element of white-conservative-Baby Boomers, who were in management, not just in radio but other media. These balding, fat middle aged guys wanted to keep us out of the industry. They also did like the changes we wanted to make. A Rolling Stone article once gave a name to a name to a notorious alternative rock radio destroyer, Randy Michaels of Jacor. I should also point out that Jacor (later engulfed by Clear Channel) owned the Premier Radio, which produces such garbage as Rush Limbaugh, Dr. Laura and Delilah. Do you see a pattern here?

However, there is a nostalgia for the college radio era and it's music. A friend of mine works at a book and music store. He has noticed people in their 40s buying the "college rock" of the 80s and 90s. Two blogs, Spinning Indie and Slicing Eyeballs, discuss both old and new college rock.

There is hope that there could be a turn around in the radio industry and us Generation X college radio slackers will save the industry from the suit wearing, Rush lovers in the big corporations. We are radio's only hope.

Of course, opinions like these are why I'm considered Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

WHY DO I GET FLAK FOR DOING THE PSYCHEDELIC LIMITS ON KSMU?

I've mentioned before that my first job in radio was at KSMU-FM. I was one of several young media students who worked overnights as part of a show called the Midnight Snack. We would take in our own got college credit and, most importantly, we got radio experience. Once a month, I would play only psychedelic music on my show with some comedy from the likes of Firesign Theater, George Carlin and Cheech & Chong. I called this segment, The Psychedelic Limits. I was inspired to do this show from a syndicated radio show called Flashback (which didn't air in Springfield at the time - it later ran on KWTO-FM and KKLH), the All-Night Coffee House on KCFX, and Beaker Street. Many of my radio instructors at MSU (then SMSU) told me to mention the show in my resume because "it would show potential employers that I was creative."


For some reason, I have gotten flak from several people in the radio industry (and radio fans too) for doing this show. I was told by one former boss that the show was "unethical" and the "equivalent of pushing drugs on the radio at the tax payers expense." This was from someone who thinks great radio is a program called "Bids for Bargains."


At my current job, my college work gets the same kind of disrespect. I was told the music I played on that show was "hippie" music and "hippies have ruined America." That's funny, I thought it was the Republicans. Oddly enough, "hippies" are still a worry for some of my co-workers. They tend prefer the company of redneck women who talk about blowing people's heads off or old men who wish we would bring segregation back.

I would just like to go on record for saying that the lyrics of most psychedelic songs are more creative and meaningful than most of the country songs that Ozarkers and local radio management find so wonderful (Yes, Desdinova has been forced to play country music in his radio career). I'll give you the lyrics to four songs I played on my KSMU psychedelic show: "Incense and Peppermint" by Strawberry Alarm Clock, "Mister, You're a Better Man Than I" by the Yardbirds, "Requiem For the Masses" by the Association and "Planet Caravan" by Black Sabbath. Now compare these to the silly lyrics of "Chicken Fried" by Zac Brown Band, a favorite of many Ozarkers. I think you can see my point (BTW: Do you hear the line "A yardstick for lunatics with one point of view" and immediately think of Glenn Beck?). Some feel this music is destructive. That is dumb, especially considering that the same people think good radio is having a host wishing for the Springfield school board to die in a car accident or hoping that someone burns down MSU.

Much of this bile from the local industry comes from the fact that this was on KSMU, which is not only public radio, but owned by a state university. I was supposedly "wasting the taxpayers dollars." They could have been spent on something like a war. That would be a much better use of taxpayer money than my training for the radio industry. Oh yeah, I forgot, I should have gotten a MBA.

I just think I'm getting too much heat over something that could have helped the industry. Of course, opinions like this are why I'm considered the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Enjoy a little psychedelia from the Pretty Things.



THIS REMINDS ME OF MY SIXTH GRADE TEACHER

This story comes from WLOS ABC 13 - Top Stories in Asheville, North Carolina. A sixth grade girl's teacher has been writing "loser" on her papers. The sad thing is the other student's parents are condoning this.

This story bothers me because my sixth grade teacher treated me the same way. He ridiculed and made fun of me in front of the class. He also refused give me any kind of help with the math assignments (which were out of a HIGH SCHOOL MATH BOOK, not a sixth grade one). If I asked for help, he would reply, "Are you stupid? Maybe you shouldn't be in the sixth grade? Maybe you should be in the special ed class?"

Most teachers are not like this. The problem is there are people who condone this type of behavior from a teacher. Most of these people are over seventy years old. They feel teachers should be hard on kids, because their teachers treated them that way. They also are advocates of corporal punishment. These scumbags think that being mean to a child makes them a better person.

I hope Enka Middle School will terminate this Rex Roland for doing this to this poor little girl. The sad part of this is, he may be so popular in the community that he will get elected to city council and tell the GM of the local radio station to fire a former student that works at the radio station.

Of course, opinions like this are why I'm considered the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

THE OZARKS HAS A SPANKING FETISH

This post has been coming for a long time, but some things I noticed this week have brought this subject to my attention again. The Ozarks has a sick and twisted love of spanking.

Last summer, I was in a fast food place eating here in Springfield. At the table next to mine was about three couples, who were around my age. These were the people who were big into screaming "rules" at their kids like a Marine Corp D.I. "Don't run! Don't touch! Don't make noise! Don't breath!"

These people were talking rather loud, so everyone in the place could hear them, on how they "enjoyed" being spanked by their parents. These people were loudly letting the people in this fast food joint (and probably most of Springfield) that they against "time outs." This woman began breathing heavy while telling about how she enjoyed it. This one guy said "he liked the smell of his father's belt." He then became very giddy as he began telling about how many "lashes" he would get and his eyes began rolling back in his head. I left because I was afraid he was going to ejaculate on me and all the other people in the place.

• I'm seeing more and more of this kinky stupidity going on with in this community. Several people I know on Facebook joined a group called "My Parents Didn't Give Me Time Out."


• I stumbled upon a blog called "Chicks on the Right" by two women "who don't believe in time-outs." I think that is a veiled code for "we are professional dominatrixes."


• The MSU post-game show disintegrated into a Chuck Booms rant against parents that give their kid time outs. Chuck screamed into the microphone that he enjoyed being spanked. He thinks more parents need to spank their kids because he was spanked as a child. Why would anyone take parenting advice from this guy? He wears green shoelaces and talks about how much he likes Liza Minnelli.


• A few years ago, when Ron Davis was the host of Morning-line on KWTO was when the Domminc James death occured. Many of the idiots who called in to argue with Ron said the "gubermunt ain't got no rite to tayl me I kain't spank my kids." Ron didn't say that spanking should be banned. On the other hand, I DO THINK SPANKING YOUR KIDS SHOULD BE A CRIMINAL OFFENCE!

Let me explain why? My parents didn't spank me because a I was a pretty good kid. If my father or mother raised their voice at me, I broke down in tears. However, I went to a Republican/Sourthern Baptist run gulauge called Mark Twain Elementary in Lebanon, MO. The principal was Betty Chisim Moore, who walked the halls with an inch thick paddle. She also had an inch thick growth of hair on her legs. She looked like a refridgerator with legs and a face like those old women in the Far Side cartoons. The school had a lot of silly type rules like that could accidentally be broken by nice little kids like me. This was so she could have the pleasure of giving at least 50 spankings a day.

I'm sure though Betty Chisim Moore is in Hell giving topless lap dances to guys like Attila the Hun, Cauigula, Hitler and Richard Nixon. If you knew what Mrs. Moore looked like, this image would be enough to make you become a perfect Christian and avoid Hell at all cost.

This woman spanked me once. SHE WAS IN THE WRONG TO PUNISH DESDINOVA! I WAS SMARTER THAN HER AND ALL THE ADULTS IN LEBANON.

But I think this sick and twisted fetish these Ozarkers have with spanking needs to stop folks. Your kids will turn up warped like Chuck Booms instead of cool like me. Of course, opinions like this are why I'm the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

NEWS LEADER RUNS LETTER FROM OZARKER UPSET BY GARFIELD

Everybody knows that I find most of the Letters to The Editor in the Springfield News Leader to be the same old garbage day after day. The fact that the News Leader considers right-wing propaganda written by local hillbillies worthy of print bothers me. Not a day goes by without a media bashing letter. Within the last week we saw a return of the "Springfield-needs-to-stand-up-against-sex-in-entertainment" letters that have been a staple of the News Leader since the early 60's crusades against ballet on Ed Sullivan Show, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? and the Normal Heart. Trust me, if any would be O.K. Armstrongs or Jean Dixons spring up, I'll be the first to make fun of them.

With that said, let us look at what will go down as the goofiest Letter to the Editor of the year. It was from Tad Pemberly of Springfield and tackled a serious subject. Apparently, a few days back Garfield said he loved tuna. Tad was upset.

"I find this one word to be the ultimate betrayal to all Garfield fans everywhere. Everyone knows that Garfield loves lasagna, not tuna. The statement that Garfield loves tuna is a slap to the face of all newspaper readers who have enjoyed the rotund tabby cat's 31 years of comic strip hilarity. Furthermore, this strip demonstrates Davis' lack of audience awareness."

Tad goes on to say, " To summarize, Jim Davis needs to put down the pen. This latest strip in a long line of offenses toward his audience is simply too much to bear for one reader. In addition, the comic strip editors of the Springfield News-Leader need to take better care in their reading to ensure the strips printed in their comics section do not offend."

In most areas of the country, this would be seen as a stupid letter. Bad part is this is the Ozarks. There will be about thirty letters that agree with this guy. The News Leader has published many letters from comic strip haters over the years. Dick Tracy and Spiderman were removed from the News Leader and Daily News in the late 70's because of complaints from tight-assed Ozarks parents. Throughout the 80's, the News Leader ran letters from people who hated Doonesbury and the Far Side. Also in the late 80s and 90s there was a crusade from a psycho-idiot (who claimed to live in a dumpster behind the Gene Taylor Main Post Office) to have the funnies removed from the News Leader because "life-is-too-depressing-to-be-enjoying-humor." Boo-hoo, cry me a river.

Reading this letter from Tad Pemberly reminded me the time Steve Allen read a Letter to the Editor of the New York Daily News criticizing artist Zach Mosley's Smiling Jack comic strip for "a lack of realism in dealing with aviation and sex." Allen would usually assign the name of a famous person to the letters he read to make a joke (similar to the e-mails on the Jim Rome Show). Allen said the letter was written by Milton Caniff, the artist behind the rival comic strip "Steve Canyon." Maybe Tad Pemberly is the guy who draws "Heathcliff."

I'm sure within a few days some idiot will write a letter to the editor entitled "Obama Brainwashed Garfield Into Say He Loves Tuna Instead of Lasagna." If I ran the News Leader I would run nationally syndicated liberal columnist instead of letters from crazy Ozarkers. Of course opinions like this are why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

THE SONG "SOCIETY'S CHILD" ISN'T ABOUT ME

I first heard the song "Society's Child" by Janis Ian when I was in junior high in Lebanon, MO. It was on an Kansas AM oldies station late one night (this was in the early 80's).

At the time I was infatuated with Eunice Moneymaker (pictured above) and several other of her cheerleader friends. Everyone from the redneck rubes in class to teachers and other adults told me I couldn't go steady with a cheerleader since I wasn't a jock. They would get very angry at me when I said it shouldn't matter that I wasn't a jock and should be allowed to have a cheerleader as a girlfriend. Apparently this is some big important law on the books in either the city of Lebanon and Laclede County as much hatred as was directed at me for wanting to break the "cheerleaders-only-go-with-jocks-law." If this is a law I'm going to ask both Lebanon Mayor C.P. Craig and President Obama to create a law to force cheerleaders to date at least one nerd a month.

I heard this song and thought this was about how Eunice wasn't (and the other cheerleaders) allowed to go steady with me because I wasn't a jock.

I've since found out I was wrong about the song. It is about a white girl not being allowed to date a black boy.

However, I'm pretty certain that the songs "Seven Year Ache" by Roseanne Cash and "You're So Vain" by Carly Simon are about me.

I should say that Eunice's mother, Kay, is a very nice lady and had no problems with me being in love with her daughter. It was Eunice had a problem with me being in love with her. If you see Kay, tell her Sherman Muckenfuss says hello (Yes, my real name is Sheman Muckenfuss - At least it ain't Shottenkirk).
Here is Janis Ian singing that song on the Smothers Brother Comedy Hour in 1967.

OZARKERS WERE AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF BUT NOT FASTER PUSSYCAT

While looking through some Springfield News Leaders from 1966, I found an ad for the Hi-M Drive-In. They were showing Russ Meyer's Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! The interesting part is that this same week another theater in town was showing Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Oddly enough, there was a noted trouble making preacher leading a crusade against of the Burton/Taylor film. The LTTE were saying the film was filled with "vulgar talk" and "excessive use of liquor." Oooooooohhhhhh! That is scary. They ignored the film where Tura Satana backed over a guy's crotch. It also came with a disclaimer at the beginning of the film.

The more things change the more they stay the same. The good thing is the News Leader only ran letters to the editor on Sunday instead of every day. It would cut down on the overabundance of letters from right-wing nutjobs, but of course, opinions like this are why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I'M A VILLAIN BUT SHE IS A HERO???

There was an incredibly stupid letter in the Springfield News Leader a few days ago by a woman who bragged about deleting her kids MySpace and Facebook accounts. There were people in the comments section saying "Good for you," "Way to go," and "I applaud you stance."

This is what is wrong with Springfield and the Ozarks. A woman who deletes her kids MySpace and Facebook friends is considered a hero, but anonymous blogger who pokes fun at talk radio scumbags, weenie-bloggers, tea-baggers, right-wingers and cranky adults is considered "a bad guy." This is another example of what I call Ozarks Correctness.

Personally, I think what this woman did is CHILD ABUSE, just like not allowing you kids to watch cartoons or listen to rock music. They should put people like this in prison. Of course, opinions like this are why I'm considered the SUPER VILLAIN OF THE OZARKS!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!