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Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Andy of Mayberry Fans Need to Get a Life

Remember twenty years ago, when William Shatner hosted Saturday Night Live and was in a sketch where he told a group of Trekkies at a convention to "Get a Life?" I feel it is time for Andy Griffith to tell some of the fans of his show the same thing. Especially the ones here in the Ozarks.

They have conniptions every when KYTV moves the reruns from noon. Also, I'm tired of hearing people say "I wish Springfield was more like Mayberry" or "How can we make Springfield more like Mayberry?" or "Springfield is a small town just like Mayberry." Let me explain something to you folks: MAYBERRY IS NOT A REAL TOWN AND SPRINGFIELD IS FAR FROM EVER BEING LIKE IT!

I find it interesting that many of these same people look down their noses at fans of Star Trek, Doctor Who or Dark Shadows, but are obsessive about returning to Mayberry for a visit with Andy, Barney and Aunt Bee. The sad part is these people want to change things so the world is more like Mayberry. They want to do away with cell phones, home computers, rap music and anything that wasn't mentioned or seen on the Andy Griffith Show or Mayberry R.F.D.

Now, before you start forming the wrong idea about me, let me say this, I like the Andy Griffith Show. I feel it is one of the best written sitcoms of all time. I have the utmost respect for Andy Griffith, Ron Howard, Don Knotts and the others because they were truly talented actors. Which brings me to my other gripe about these Andy of Mayberry fans: THEY HAVE NO TASTE IN WHICH EPISODES ARE THEIR FAVORITE! THEY ALWAYS PICK THE ONES THAT SUCK (IMHOP)! My favorite episode is entitled the "Loaded Goat," a goat eats a highway crews dynamite and scares everyone except Otis. I also like any episode involving the Darlings and Ernest T. Bass. Those make me laugh, just like Family Guy and the Simpsons.

However, these obsessive fans here in the Ozarks always say they like the episode where Andy takes the spoiled kid's bicycle away. It seems they always pick episodes where Oppie gets punished. When these Andy fans tell me this, I tell them that I like the "It's a Good Life" episode of the Twilight Zone. It tell them that is the way my childhood SHOULD have been. I could have banished half of Lebanon, MO, to the cornfield and turned the other half into jack-in-the-boxes.

I guess that is why I don't understand the bizarre obsession with the Andy Griffith Show and Mayberry. As a song that was popular when I was in country radio (against my will) said "I grew up in a Mayberry kind of town." Actually, I felt like more like Oliver Douglas on Green Acres, I was the only sane, intelligent person in Lebanon, but that is just me. To me Star Trek, Doctor Who and Dark Shadows are a fun escape (although, like DS, I have some monsters and bloodsuckers in my family). I don't see them as a pattern for my life. Some of this Andy of Mayberry worship stuff has come from the mega-churches. They watch the reruns together and discuss the message. Strange, where I go to church we use the New Testament.

I was really hoping this video Ron Howard made a few months ago would help break these people of their obsession. I guess Andy is going to have to give these folks a Shatner speech. He can use Barney's favorite phrase, "NIP IT IN THE BUD!"

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