THE DEVIL MAKES OZARKERS BE CHEAP

I've talked to several restaurant servers and coffee braristas in Springfield, who are complaining about a self-righteous and mean spirited (no pun intended) trend. There are some Ozarkers are not leaving their servers a monetary tip. Instead they are leaving religious tracks.

A few years ago, there was a report that came out saying that Springfield, Missouri was in the Top Ten of the worst tipping cities. These people work hard for very little money. They depend on tips to get by.

Also, Jesus would not approve of your greed, you Pharisees. Of course, opinions like this are why I'm the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM DESDINOVA!!!

I didn't have time for a great Christmas post of fun stuff like last year. I still want to wish you a merry and blessed Christmas! Enjoy being with your family. Think about the poor and needy, the sick and afflicted, as well as our service people serving abroad. Hopefully they can all be home soon. Most of all remember the reason for this season and message of love and peace that Jesus Christ brought to the word.

My other wish is that Santa brings me what is sitting on his lap in the photo above.

Once again, Merry Christmas from Desdinova the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!

GOD CALLS ORAL ROBERTS HOME

Pioneering televangelist Oral Roberts (He is the one on the left - for you younger folks. The guy on the right is a fellow name Elvis) died at age 91. CNN has his obituary. The title is a reference to a statement he made in late 80's.

"In 1986, Roberts announced that God would "call him home" unless he raised $8 million to send medical missionaries from the center -- an announcement that was widely publicized."

Oral must have missed a payment. I'm kidding. None of you weenie-bloggers better write a post saying I was celebrating his death, because Oral Roberts was one of the few televangelist of that era that I didn't have a problem with.

While he still preached a "prosperity gospel," Roberts tended to be positive and focus on the power of prayer and faith rather than partisan politics and destroying the entertainment industry.

I remember seeing his TV shows as a child and I liked his introductions which ending with him saying "Today, something good is going to happen to YOU!" Followed by a chorus sing an old hymn, appropriately entitled, "Something Good Is Going To Happen To You."

I also remember as a child traveling to Oklahoma in the early 70's (at the height of his popularity) and seeing a large billboard outside Tulsa that advertised the Oral Roberts University. It featured a giant Oral Roberts waving his arms up and down, welcoming folks to Tulsa.

I read a comment, in one of the articles on his death, from an Alburn University professor of religion that Oral Roberts may have had a more positive impact on Christianinty than Jerry Falwell. I agree that, but of course, opinions like this are why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

And remember, SOMETHING GOOD IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU!

GUY FROM STRYPER MARRIES HOOKER

When I was in high school there was one heavy metal band that I could NOT stand - Stryper. I always thought they were a plot cooked up by a bunch of adults. I felt the same way about Petra. I also didn't trust Stryper because they wore black and gold, which was the Lebanon High School colors.

CNN reports that Oz Fox of Stryper (who are surprisingly still together) married Annie Lobert Friday in Las Vegas. She is the founder of a Vegas based group called Hookers For Jesus.

You can't make stuff like this up.

Andy of Mayberry Fans Need to Get a Life

Remember twenty years ago, when William Shatner hosted Saturday Night Live and was in a sketch where he told a group of Trekkies at a convention to "Get a Life?" I feel it is time for Andy Griffith to tell some of the fans of his show the same thing. Especially the ones here in the Ozarks.

They have conniptions every when KYTV moves the reruns from noon. Also, I'm tired of hearing people say "I wish Springfield was more like Mayberry" or "How can we make Springfield more like Mayberry?" or "Springfield is a small town just like Mayberry." Let me explain something to you folks: MAYBERRY IS NOT A REAL TOWN AND SPRINGFIELD IS FAR FROM EVER BEING LIKE IT!

I find it interesting that many of these same people look down their noses at fans of Star Trek, Doctor Who or Dark Shadows, but are obsessive about returning to Mayberry for a visit with Andy, Barney and Aunt Bee. The sad part is these people want to change things so the world is more like Mayberry. They want to do away with cell phones, home computers, rap music and anything that wasn't mentioned or seen on the Andy Griffith Show or Mayberry R.F.D.

Now, before you start forming the wrong idea about me, let me say this, I like the Andy Griffith Show. I feel it is one of the best written sitcoms of all time. I have the utmost respect for Andy Griffith, Ron Howard, Don Knotts and the others because they were truly talented actors. Which brings me to my other gripe about these Andy of Mayberry fans: THEY HAVE NO TASTE IN WHICH EPISODES ARE THEIR FAVORITE! THEY ALWAYS PICK THE ONES THAT SUCK (IMHOP)! My favorite episode is entitled the "Loaded Goat," a goat eats a highway crews dynamite and scares everyone except Otis. I also like any episode involving the Darlings and Ernest T. Bass. Those make me laugh, just like Family Guy and the Simpsons.

However, these obsessive fans here in the Ozarks always say they like the episode where Andy takes the spoiled kid's bicycle away. It seems they always pick episodes where Oppie gets punished. When these Andy fans tell me this, I tell them that I like the "It's a Good Life" episode of the Twilight Zone. It tell them that is the way my childhood SHOULD have been. I could have banished half of Lebanon, MO, to the cornfield and turned the other half into jack-in-the-boxes.

I guess that is why I don't understand the bizarre obsession with the Andy Griffith Show and Mayberry. As a song that was popular when I was in country radio (against my will) said "I grew up in a Mayberry kind of town." Actually, I felt like more like Oliver Douglas on Green Acres, I was the only sane, intelligent person in Lebanon, but that is just me. To me Star Trek, Doctor Who and Dark Shadows are a fun escape (although, like DS, I have some monsters and bloodsuckers in my family). I don't see them as a pattern for my life. Some of this Andy of Mayberry worship stuff has come from the mega-churches. They watch the reruns together and discuss the message. Strange, where I go to church we use the New Testament.

I was really hoping this video Ron Howard made a few months ago would help break these people of their obsession. I guess Andy is going to have to give these folks a Shatner speech. He can use Barney's favorite phrase, "NIP IT IN THE BUD!"

Day of Silence: Remembering the Cute Teacher and the Crazy Preacher at LHS in the 80s

The Lebanon Daily Record forums have been abuzz with talk about the Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network Day of Silence being observed at Lebanon High School. It is a volunteer observation. Students are not forced into observing (personally I thing they should be or face expulsion - but that is me).

The fuss over this reminded me of what happened at LHS in 1986 (maybe 1985).

It involved the young lady pictured above. I won't give her name. It isn't important to the story. She was a teacher. I never had her for class. Too bad, she was HOT! I wish I could have been one of those kids who had sex with a teacher. I'd pick her.

The country was talking about A.I.D.S. Homophobia was rampant among teenage boys. It gave them a certain amount of masculine reinforcement. LHS had (probably still does) quite a few rednecks and jocks. They liked to call those they didn't like "faggot" or "queer."

This young teacher got tired of the some of the guys calling other students these derogatory terms for gay people. She had enough of this and told them her brother was gay. She said she would bring him in an introduce him to show that he was a "real human being."

She took this to the principal, who told her no because he was afraid of possible violence toward her and he brother. That should have been the end of it.

Not long after, a local preacher, who was a known trouble maker, shows up asking why the school was going to allow gay men to "make love in front of the students." Some way this had become a crazy rumor spread around the school. I might add the preacher had NO children in the school and was known to cause trouble with the school over silly rumors. He claimed once that there was an arcade in Lebanon where teenagers were dancing naked and drinking. Needless to say it closed soon after. Worst of all, this preacher had a radio show on KLWT every morning. He bashed everyone from Ozzy Osbourne to Jane Fonda, who he called a "harlot." If I had been running KLWT, I WOULD HAVE TAKEN HIM OFF THE AIR. Unfortunately, I was a junior in high school at the time (Sadly, I have a degree in media from MSU and I'm still not allowed to make programming decisions in radio).

The teacher left Lebanon after just one year, but the preacher had to leave town too. He was caught having an affair with another woman. He now lives in Springfield. He writes bad Letters to the Editor in the News Leader and has been heard on one of the local talk radio shows (Guess who?). He is also involved with local politics (Republican, of course).

Just a little story I thought I'd share.