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Thursday, April 23, 2009


This is something I have to say, because it is a major problem in the Springfield community that must be addressed. This should be off concern to many patrons of local restaurants with juke boxes. It is people who insist on playing that stupid "Chicken Fried" by the Zac Brown Band. This has to be ONE OF THE WORST SONGS EVER RECORDED, yet there is a group of people in this town that insist on playing this song on the juke box the minute they walk in an establishment. It seems to be the same people every time. They are either a gang of rednecks (no surprise), a group of plus-sized women in their twenties and, the most shocking of all, medical workers (or their folks who like to wear scrubs).

See when I go out to enjoy myself. I may be selfish but I like to hear music that makes me feel good. Some headbanging songs like "Action" by the Sweet, "Living After Midnight" by Judas Priest, "Anarchy for the U.K." the Sex Pistols, "Bark at the Moon" by Ozzy Osbourne or "The Boys Are Back In Town" by Thin Lizzy are great when you are knocking back a few cold beverages. I also will accept "I Kissed a Girl" or "If You Seek Amy," but NOT "THE CHICKEN FRIED" SONG! Let me also say I don't like to hear any "Cracklin Rosie" by Neil Diamond.
I don't understand the words to this song, but then again, I never understood the point of the lyrics of very many country songs when I was a dee-jay at a country station in Lebanon. Most of them are stupid. About the only songs I liked when I was at that country station was "Friends In Low Places," "Seminole Wind" and "Goodbye Earl." We didn't play any of these because the president of one of the local banks didn't like them. Since he was an advertiser we had to play what he wanted (Bankers make the worst advertisers because they try to boss the radio stations around - I hope President Obama does something to punish these capitalist goons).

I feel this "Chicken Fried" song needs to be banned from all juke boxes in Springfield. I'm calling on Mayor Jim O'Neal and city council to get behind this. I also feel that this should be addressed by the Highway Patrol because I CONSIDER ANYONE WHO PLAYS THAT "CHICKEN FRIED" SONG ON A JUKE BOX A DOMESTIC TERRORIST!

I realize will not be a popular opinion to hold, but that is what makes me SUPER VILLAIN OF THE OZARKS!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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