I WANT TO HOLD A "HEY LIGHTEN UP AMERICA" RALLY IN BRANSON

I WANT TO RESTORE HUMOR AND FUN IN AMERICA! THAT IS MY GOAL!

I would like to hold a "HEY LIGHTEN UP AMERICA" rally, because for the past nine years there has been under siege by a mentality that we have to take everything serious, live in fear and suspicion of others and hate anything fun and entertaining. I blame this on the talk radio crowd and Faux News. We need to restore a sense of fun and humor badly. When people get up and arms on You Tube over that old Peter Pan Peanut Butter commercial with Laugh-In's Alan Sues in it, you know that this country has a bad crisis in the humor and fun department.

I would be the host and MC of the event. For a co-host, I need a wild, hot babe like Paris Hilton, Katy Perry, Britney Spears, Milly Cyrus or Lindsay Lohan. A special guest will be Steven "Hit the Slide and Ride" Slater. The perfect location for this would be Branson, MO on 76 Country Boulevard. We also need a cross section of music both alternative and hip hop. NO COUNTRY MUSIC WILL BE ALLOWED. BOOZE AND OTHER SUBSTANCES WILL BE PROVIDED. CLOTHING WILL BE OPTIONAL.

Security will be provided by the "New" Black Panthers.

Everyone will receive a free pink toothbrush to ward off evil spirits (and out of work Canadian talk radio show host).

I'm sure this will draw ten times the crowd that Glenn Beck's stupid rally did. And when I he sees I drew a bigger crowd than him and Silly Sarah of Moosealoony, they will both cry "Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo."

Of course, an opinion, like this one, is what makes me the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!

Ozarks Native/Steel Guitar Legend Tom Brumley Dead at 73

Tom Brumley, who played steel guitar with Buck Owens' Buckaroos and Rick Nelson's Stone Canyon Band passed away Tuesday in a San Antonio hospital, according to the Houston Chronicle. He had a heart attack a few days before. Tom is the son of Albert E. Brumley, who wrote many famous hymns such as "I'll Fly Away." Both are featured in The Ozarks Greatest Hits book by KTXR's Wayne Glenn. Brumley has family living in the area.

Eddy Arnold 1918 - 2008

Eddy Arnold has passed away just days short of his 90th birthday. He was a legend in country music. Arnold helped the "hillbilly music" of the 30's & 40's evolve into the "Nashville sound" of the 60's & 70's. Arnold paved the way for country artist to like Kenny Rogers, Shania Twain, Faith Hill and Glenn Campbell to top the Adult Contemporary charts. He went from being "the Tennessee Plow-boy" in his early days to reinventing himself in the Sixties as a tuxedo-clad crooner like Frank Sinatra and Dead Martin. Martin was one of his fans, as was Leonard Nimoy (which explains his attempts at country music) and my father.

I went with my parents to see Arnold when he was in Branson a few years back (a double bill with the Chordettes). He could still sing the songs, but he was really too sick to perform. He had a horrible cough (he blamed it on "sleeping on the porch") and at one point, he went into a coughing fit and I thought "I'm going to see him die on stage."

Here is CNN's story about Eddy Arnold.

Michael Jackson: Forget Vegas, Come to Branson

AP is reporting, via Yahoo, that Michael Jackson is considering offers to perform in Las Vegas. You can read it here. I, Desdinova - the Super Villain of the Ozarks, has a better idea. Mr. Jackson, please come to Branson, MO. I think you would be a wonderful addition to the Ozarks. We need you here. There is nothing cool about the Ozarks, you can be (next to me) the COOLEST THING IN THE OZARKS! I'll give you the names of several little kids who would just love to come over to your house and play.

And while we are on the subject of famous people I'd like to see move to the Ozarks, read this little piece about Elfindale Manor. Yes, I'm going to start a committee to help me get Michael Jackson to move to Branson and open a theater (Thriller Theater and Daycare Center?) and Larry Flynt to buy Elfindale, as he had once planned and start publishing Hustler here in Springfield. He can be one of Springfield's Best. If I don't get my way, I'll zap every woman in Springfield with my Hair-Be-Gone Ray. Every woman in Springfield will look like Britney Spears (or Jack Nicholson at the Oscars)! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!