WHAT HAPPENED TO POKING FUN AT SQUARES?

The New Adventures of Desdinova the Super Villain of the Ozarks: WHAT HAPPENED TO POKING FUN AT SQUARES?: Over time the portrayals of certain groups of people have changed over the years. You can see many horrible politically incorrect images i...

I WANT TO HOLD A "HEY LIGHTEN UP AMERICA" RALLY IN BRANSON

I WANT TO RESTORE HUMOR AND FUN IN AMERICA! THAT IS MY GOAL!

I would like to hold a "HEY LIGHTEN UP AMERICA" rally, because for the past nine years there has been under siege by a mentality that we have to take everything serious, live in fear and suspicion of others and hate anything fun and entertaining. I blame this on the talk radio crowd and Faux News. We need to restore a sense of fun and humor badly. When people get up and arms on You Tube over that old Peter Pan Peanut Butter commercial with Laugh-In's Alan Sues in it, you know that this country has a bad crisis in the humor and fun department.

I would be the host and MC of the event. For a co-host, I need a wild, hot babe like Paris Hilton, Katy Perry, Britney Spears, Milly Cyrus or Lindsay Lohan. A special guest will be Steven "Hit the Slide and Ride" Slater. The perfect location for this would be Branson, MO on 76 Country Boulevard. We also need a cross section of music both alternative and hip hop. NO COUNTRY MUSIC WILL BE ALLOWED. BOOZE AND OTHER SUBSTANCES WILL BE PROVIDED. CLOTHING WILL BE OPTIONAL.

Security will be provided by the "New" Black Panthers.

Everyone will receive a free pink toothbrush to ward off evil spirits (and out of work Canadian talk radio show host).

I'm sure this will draw ten times the crowd that Glenn Beck's stupid rally did. And when I he sees I drew a bigger crowd than him and Silly Sarah of Moosealoony, they will both cry "Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo."

Of course, an opinion, like this one, is what makes me the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!

THE MOD SQUAD WAS COOLER THAN 21 JUMP STREET (Sorry Johnny Depp)

I realize many people of my generation will hate this post. There will even be some Baby Boomers that will hate this post.

In TV history, there were two cops shows that featured young people going undercover to investigate crimes involving other youth. These shows were the Mod Squad, which ran from 1968 to 1973. The other was 21 Jump Street, which ran from 1987 to 1991.

I remember watching an episode of 21 Jump Street when it first air on the then-new Fox Network and thinking, "This show sucks. I hope they come up with a better show than this or this network with go the way of Dumont and Overmyer Networks." The show not only ran longer than I expected, but Fox has survived, thanks to several great shows like the Simpsons, Family Guy and In Living Color.

It was about this time that a purchased a book called The Best of Crime and Detective TV: The Critics Choice by John Javna and Max Allan Collins. In this book, they list the TV show, Mod Squad, as one of the worst cop shows ever. They practically trash the show (They also slam Charlie's Angels, which makes me wonder about these guys).

I had only seen the Mod Squad reunion movie from the late 70's, but I still thought it probably had to be better than 21 Jump Street for the simple reason it was made in the late 60s/early 70s. As many of you readers know I have always had a special place for the psychedelic era.

I bought a VHS tape a few years ago that featured two episodes of the Mod Squad. I liked it quite a bit and wanted to buy another, but they were taken off the market for some reason. A year ago, I bought a DVD of the first season of the Mod Squad. It featured a longer version of the pilot episode which was on the VHS tape I had earlier. I have enjoyed it very much and plan to buy another DVD set of the show.

A few nights ago, I found the entire first season of 21 Jump Street on DVD at Wal-Mart for $5. I wondered if my opinion of 21 Jump Street would have changed after seeing more than one episode of the Mod Squad. Maybe I would be blown away by the show which gave us Johnny Depp. It turns out, I was right the first time I saw the show. It still sucks.

While people often malign the Mod Squad for being dated, 21 Jump Street is a product of it's time too. It comes with the things of the 80s that I hated. Bad part is some of those attitudes are still with us, thanks to the Fox News Network. As a matter of fact, I suspect that Bill O'Reilly wrote a few of these scripts under an alias. I bet Sarah Palin was a Jump Street fan.

The Mod Squad was from the age of peace, love and "Do Your Own Thing," while 21 Jump Street was from the age of "Just Say No," "Positive Peer Pressure," "overachieving" and "Vigilante Justice." Also, the characters on 21 Jump Street wear the clothes of that era that my mom forced me to wear. When I moved out and went to SMSU, I started dressing more like the Mod Squad.

First off, let's discuss the theme song and opening credits. The theme song of the Mod Squad was composed by Earl Hagen. Hagen created a tough and fast pasted cops show theme, augmented by a psychedelic/garage band organ. The visual was the main characters running through a dark warehouse.

The 21 Jump Street open featured a theme song sung by the cast that sounded like a bad Debbie Gibson song ("You're gonna learn something when we meet you after school" GAG!). The visuals were goofy clips of the cast from episodes. This gives you the impression you are watching a bad sitcom.

The overall plot of the shows are different in that Peter, Linc and Julie ("One White, One Black and One Blonde") were juvenile delinquents paying their debt to society by becoming undercover detectives. They did carry guns or badges. They often questioned the ethics of what they were doing. Yes, they do use quite a bit of the slang of that era. Pete seems to use the word "heavy" a lot, Julie says "groovy" quite a bit and Linc made the phrase, "Solid, Brother" a part of TV history.

On 21 Jump Street, Hanson, Penhall, Hoffs and Loki are cops who look young enough to infiltrate high schools. They carry guns and badges. When the Jump Street cops aren't whining about lawyers and judges "letting off" the people they bust, they insult each other.

The villains on Mod Squad are never the kids, but old, white guys trying to make a money by selling drugs or killing young people. One villain, played by Dabney Colman (Who else?) tells his sister, "Your hippie friends are driving down the value of my real estate." One villain is a Bill O'Reilly-ish talk show who tries to rape Julie. Yes, the message of the Mod Squad could be "No such thing as a bad kid" and "Don't trust anyone over 30."

On the other hand, 21 Jump Street embedded with the 80's idea of "young-people-are-evil." The criminal is always young. Everything from gun toting gang members taking a school hostage to a group of cocaine pushing, preppy-boys who gang-rape/murder a girl to sexually-repressed, pyromaniac Catholic school girls (No, I didn't make this last one up).

Jump Street episodes usually end with a PSA/lecture from the cast about under-age drinking, drug abuse or abstenence. Mod Squad ended with a crane shot of the characters and somber jazz music as the characters contemplate what just happened. Truth is the Mod Squad has a more expensive look to it than Jump Street.

Yes, this has probably been a useless rant, but I had to get this out of my system. I'm sorry Johnny Depp couldn't have been like Clint Eastwood, John Travolta or Bruce Lee and gotten his start on a good show. As a matter of fact, he has said he hated the show.

Just remember, the Maharishi says never drink campaign from a paper cup. Solid, Brother!

CONAN O'BRIEN NOMINATED FOR 4 EMMY AWARDS AFTER BEING SCREWED BY NBC

CNN has a story on the Emmy nominations, which were announced today. In an ironic turn of events, "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien" was nominated for 4 Emmy awards, even thought NBC replaced him after only seven months with the previous host Jay Leno. This isn't anything new, both Bob Newhart's 1060 variety show and the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour received Emmy awards after being cancelled, but four nominations must be a record.

Conan said "Congrats to my staff on 4 Emmy nominations. This bodes well for the future of The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien."

Congratulations to Conan, however, I feel David Letterman should receive a special Emmy for all those jokes he has made about George W. Bush and Sarah Palin. If not an Emmy, at least a Congressional Medal of Honor or rename Missouri "Lettermanland."

Of course, opinions, like this one, are why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

SOMETHING FUNNY ABOUT THESE "MARRIED" SPRINGFIELD BOYS

This post will probably upset most of Springfield, but I feel this needs to be brought out into the open. Some of the other bloggers, such as Busplunge and Fat Jack, have brought this up in various post and it always produces a flurry of negative comments from those on the right (Usually that little punk named Jeremy). I don't allow comments, so I feel safe. I have noticed, while eating at a pizza buffett here in town, that there are a great number of attractive women married to upwardly mobile men who are closeted gay.

I know what you people are going to do. You will start saying I'm an evil person for suggesting this, but I'm observing this more and more in our community. You will see a whole group of families at a restaurant. The children will be eating and playing. The mothers will be swapping "mommy talk." While all of this going on, these lovely ladies' husbands are winking at each other, between yelling at the kids and talking about sports. Before anyone says it is my imagination, I want to point out that, at some point, one of these "family" men will say to another one (in a high feminine voice) "This chocolate chip pizza is to dddiiiieee for!"

They have all the trappings of being the kind of men that talk radio show host and News Leader letter writers think everyone should be. They drive an Escalade plastered with a McCain-Palin sticker and a "Support the Troops" magnet. They are wearing T-shirts with religious theme or a sports team logo on them. However, these guys act like their wives are a just a person who came along for the ride. No hugging, kissing or hand holding. She is just a kid wrangler.

I firmly believe there is a secret network of conservative groups and churches in this community that fix successful, gay Republican men up with attractive "beards" looking for a meal-ticket. They may have connections to some national groups.

I've noticed several ways to tell if a guy is one of these closeted-gay-conservative-family-guys-married-to-an-attractive-woman.

1. They call sports talk radio and whine about how people making fun of Tim Tebow.

2. They cry along with Glenn Beck.

3. They can't get their Blue-Ray DVD of Avatar to work in their DVD player and blame "liberals in Hollywood" for this.

4. They trash poetry books by MSU professors on their blog.

5. They are offended by Katy Perry’s "I Kissed a Girl."

6. They won't bring their wife's fudge to the office cookie swap at Christmas because they fear being labeled a "fudge packer."

7. They talk about how they think Sarah Palin is more attractive than Paris Hilton. They also think Dr. Laura is more attractive than Kim Kardashian.

8. They have a phobia about pink toothbrushes.

9. They tell people their occupation is a venture capitalist.

10. They have referred to Scott Brown as a "hottie."

Personally, I think someone should just let these guys be gay. These attractive women could be better suited with a guy like me. It looks like someone could find me an attractive wife. I may not be a Republican, from a well-to-do family or have a successful business, but I AM HETEROSEXUAL.

Of course, opinions like these are why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I REMEMBER YOU FROM SCHOOL - YOU WERE A PAIN THEN TOO

This is a response to a post on a weenie blog a few weeks ago. It was a slam to people of my political persuasion. This person tried to explain that her political ideology was better than mine. The more I read the more I realized not only why I’m proud to be a liberal, but who most of the conservative people my age are. I have also noticed this by the people who have friended me on Facebook from high school.

Conservatives are those people we didn’t like in junior high and high school. You know the ones I’m talking about. They were not necessarily the popular kids. They were the ones who wanted to be more popular than the popular kids.

Granted, I wanted to be the most popular kid in school but on my own merits such as my hip and cool taste in music, movies, humor and looks (Okay the last one was a stretch). These people were obsessed with grades and achieving notoriety.

There is nothing wrong with excelling, but these people rubbed it in your face that they had better grades than you, that they were the president of a club or on a sports team. However, if someone achieved more than these people, they had their parents go to the teacher, then to principal, then to school board and get some changes made. Usually, a good teacher or coach lost their job, because they did some good like give everyone an “A” or allow a lowly student like myself to be in the spotlight rather than the ‘over-achiever’ or allowed wimpy me play on their team in P.E.

Also these people were the ones who made fun of you to your face. However, if you have a good come back for them, it became “major incident.” Daddy & Mommy would go to the Principal and we would be forced to apologize along with spending time in detention (Speaking of which, if you still can't grasp the kind of people I'm talking about, think of the characters played by Molly Rigwald and Emilio Estivez in The Breakfast Club).

These people usually quit college and said it was because “The professors were liberal.” Actually it was a combination of daddy & mommy weren’t around to fight their battles and partying. See, in junior high/high school these people were always president of S.A.D.D or Teen Action or some other self-righteous, preachy group. They lectured me on how my love of heavy metal, punk and 60s psychedelic music would lead me to drug abuse. Then it turns out these people drank themselves out of SMSU or Mizzou or Drury Or Evangel.

These days those people tell you how much they make, how much their house is worth, how many well-disciplined kids they have and how many vehicles they have. THEY DON’T REALIZE WE STILL DON’T CARE! I have over 3000 CDs and about 200 DVDs. I would like a wife and kids, but the hours I work I wouldn’t have time to spend with her.

I also get paid very little, have lousy health insurance and the industry I work in has been taken over by large money-grubbing corporations that are only interested in making stars out of right-wing scumbags.

Yes, I believe in equality, but you people never did. You are still only interested in one thing...yourself. That is why I never liked you people in school. That is why I was and still am considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

BTW, if the former governor of Alaska wants to complain about me using her photo in this post on her Facebook page...I’ll sue her butt off!

JOHNNY CARSON HAS BEEN GONE 5 YEARS TODAY

Former Tonight Show host Johnny Carson died five years ago today. He has spent the last week spinning in his grave after it was announced that NBC was firing Conan O'Brien and bringing back Jay Leno.

If Johnny was here today he would say, "I gave the world Art Fern and Carnac. Does NBC really think Leno having people run over a cardboard cutout of Al Gore with an electric car is funny? Now running over Spiro Agnew with a car would be great comedy. Leno knows nothing about comedy. Conan was much better. They should have listened to me in the first place and gave the show to Letterman. Everybody up here Heaven watches Dave for the Sarah Palin jokes alone. NBC has made a mistake this big since Supertrain."