WORST JOB l EVER HAD - WATERLESS COOKWARE SALESMAN (While Bullied by Texans)

I thought the readers still subscribing to the old blog would enjoy this post from my current blog.

50's B-MOVIE BAD GIRL YVETTE VICKERS FOUND DEAD

People magazine has the sad story of 50's B-movie bad girl Yvette Vickers death.
She played the sexy "other woman" in Attack of the 50 Foot Woman and Attack of the Giant Leeches.

TURA SATANA DIES

The star of the 1966 cult film, Faster Pussycat Kill Kill!, has died. Tura Satana played the tough go-go dancer Varla in the Russ Meyer's film.
Dave Itzkopf of the New York Times has a story about her.

I have this gem of Naughty Springfield history.

BEST OF DESDINOVA: OZARKERS WERE AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF BUT NOT FASTER PUSSYCAT!

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM DESDINOVA!!!

Here are some photos of the things I want for Christmas. I'm sure this will upset some of the bloggers from the Nixa/Ozark area.

INGRID PITT 1937 - 2010

She was one of the sexiest female vampires in movie history. Buxom Hammer Horror film icon Ingrid Pitt died this week at age 73. The Baltimore Sun has her obituary. Her life story would make a great movie. Unlike the women she played in movies, she died without a stake through the heart. Rest in peace Ingird.

Note: Ingrid Pitt is no relation to local boy turned movie star Brad Pitt. Just wanted to make sure you knew that.

KATY PERRY GET REVENGE ON GUY WHO IGNORED HER IS SCHOOL

This is one of those stories I love. Yahoo Music reports that super hot babe and pop music star Katy Perry was performing a concert at the high school she attended. She saw a jock boy, who wouldn't give her the time of day in high school, in the audience. She pointed him out in front of everyone at the concert and let the jerk have it.

Pointing out into the audience, she identified one specific member of the crowd and asked, "Is that Shane Lopes? You were the most popular kid in my class, but you never wanted to date me, it was always Amanda Wayne." As the crowd laughed and cheered, she adopted a bit of swagger and added, "Oh yeah, you really chose right, honey. What's up now, playa?" Becoming an international, Grammy-nominated pop star evidently does wonderful things for your self-confidence.

TAKE THAT, JOCK BOY!!!

Apparently, this story upset some other little jock boy-douche bags. If you look at the comments, you will see some ugly hatred toward the incredible looking Miss Perry.

Among them is a comment from a brain damaged idiot calling himself "independent." Besides being too stupid to capitalize his name, he shows how un-hip and stupid he is by saying, "What a piece of garbage. still stuck in high school? Tells a lot about her just from this story. She must not be that great since I have never even heard of her until now." Excuse me, "independent," if you would stop listening to crap like Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh, you would know who Katy Perry is. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS A PIECE OF GARBAGE, YOU TALK-RADIO LISTENING SCUMBAG!!!

And then there is a scumbag called "See See," who says: "What a child... Move on... It does not prove anything, only that you are still bitter."

I should have known "See See" would have something hateful, negative and malicious to say, because they used this "weird baby" avatar. Anytime you see that, the post is usually by a person who is hateful, racist, right-wing, douche bag, asshole. I really wish the government would do something about these people, like have them arrested and tortured to death.

Loyal readers know that I frequently like to embarrass Eunice Moneymaker of Lebanon, MO for not going out with me in junior high and high school. Contrary to what a bunch of nitwits posting on Yahoo would say, I have every right to make fun of her now. Like Katy Perry, I'm famous.

I WANT TO HOLD A "HEY LIGHTEN UP AMERICA" RALLY IN BRANSON

I WANT TO RESTORE HUMOR AND FUN IN AMERICA! THAT IS MY GOAL!

I would like to hold a "HEY LIGHTEN UP AMERICA" rally, because for the past nine years there has been under siege by a mentality that we have to take everything serious, live in fear and suspicion of others and hate anything fun and entertaining. I blame this on the talk radio crowd and Faux News. We need to restore a sense of fun and humor badly. When people get up and arms on You Tube over that old Peter Pan Peanut Butter commercial with Laugh-In's Alan Sues in it, you know that this country has a bad crisis in the humor and fun department.

I would be the host and MC of the event. For a co-host, I need a wild, hot babe like Paris Hilton, Katy Perry, Britney Spears, Milly Cyrus or Lindsay Lohan. A special guest will be Steven "Hit the Slide and Ride" Slater. The perfect location for this would be Branson, MO on 76 Country Boulevard. We also need a cross section of music both alternative and hip hop. NO COUNTRY MUSIC WILL BE ALLOWED. BOOZE AND OTHER SUBSTANCES WILL BE PROVIDED. CLOTHING WILL BE OPTIONAL.

Security will be provided by the "New" Black Panthers.

Everyone will receive a free pink toothbrush to ward off evil spirits (and out of work Canadian talk radio show host).

I'm sure this will draw ten times the crowd that Glenn Beck's stupid rally did. And when I he sees I drew a bigger crowd than him and Silly Sarah of Moosealoony, they will both cry "Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo."

Of course, an opinion, like this one, is what makes me the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!

I MISS THE CRAIG HALL CROWD & I STILL HATE THE PREPPIES

Permit me to wax nostalgic for a bit, but this post has been coming for awhile and it is something I have to get out of my system. I've been thinking about my college years, when I was obtaining my Bachelor of Science in Media. I was just out of high school, away from home and I didn't have a job, so I was able to enjoy myself and have fun.

I found it was easier to make friends with people at SMSU (now known as MSU) than it was in the Lebanon R-3. For one thing, the need to conform to what everyone else was doing disappears in college. Also, I seem to have more in common with the city kids. We tended to like the same music, movies and other activities. We were the "Craig Hall Crowd," because that was where the communications, media and drama classes were held.

The people I tend to hang with in college tended to wear tie dye shirts with peace signs on them or shirts that said "EAT THE RICH" on them. Some even had pink t-shirts with a photo of Howard McNear, the barber from the Andy Griffith Show on the front and the words "PINK FLOYD" on the back. Get it! Yeah, it was funnier in 1987. We tended to drive older model small cars with bumper stickers reading "He who dies with the most toys, STILL DIES" or "Wouldn't be nice if the schools had plenty of money and the Pentagon had to have a bake sale?"

Our dorm room walls were covered in posters of Jim Morrison, Ozzy Osbourne and James Dean, as well as numerous assorted scantly clad women. The only names I can think of for these women were Marilyn (The Seven Year Itch subway grate pose), Farah (These were usually kind of ragged because they had been around for several years), Brooke and Elvira (Yes, THAT Elvira - usually these were Budweiser promotional posters, so you wonder if these guys were more attracted to beer than the big breasted Goth chick). Oh, I cannot forget the Tennis Girl poster (above).

I should point out that there was a boom in psychedelic music and fashion. Part of this may have been because Rolling Stone was celebrating its 20th anniversary and running a lot of retrospective article on the Summer of Love and the 60s. However, as I look back, we may have been rebelling against the "Just Say No" crap that had been forced down our throats in junior high and high school.

There were some people that we didn't like. These people were what we called Preppies. These people were like the villains in a lot the comedy films of the time. While we were wanting to Bluto from Animal House, these people wanted to be Greg Marmalard and Douglas C. Neidemeyer from Animal House. These people took things way too seriously. They were like the people we didn't like in junior high and high school. They were all involved in Young Republicans and came to class wearing ties. They were always business majors of some sort, only interested in money and kissing butt. They were overachievers, who felt Bart Simpson was a bad role model for children. Bad part I see many young college kids now who are exactly like the Preppie kids. Kind of sad when you think about it.

Someone at the Standard gave one of these boneheads a column. I can remember his last name was Seitz, because I thought he was full of baloney. He spread hate toward anyone who didn't think like him and his tie wearing Preppie friends. He probably is either a talk radio host or a weenie blogger. They went to little meetings on Monday night where they listened to speeches by Mel Hancock and Jean Dixon. Needless to say these people were not out having fun like the rest of us.


I guess what has brought this on is the fact I keep running into or seeing the Preppies around Springfield, but the people I liked are nowhere to be seen. Maybe they went back to St. Louis, Kansas City and Chicago. At least one person, went to Hollywood. I see her on TV from time to time. I guess the Preppies were from here in Springfield. I hope my friends are still they way they were when we were in school. After all the Preppies are all still the obnoxious little twerps they were when we were in school.

Of course, opinions like this are why I'm the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM DESDINOVA!!!

I didn't have time for a great Christmas post of fun stuff like last year. I still want to wish you a merry and blessed Christmas! Enjoy being with your family. Think about the poor and needy, the sick and afflicted, as well as our service people serving abroad. Hopefully they can all be home soon. Most of all remember the reason for this season and message of love and peace that Jesus Christ brought to the word.

My other wish is that Santa brings me what is sitting on his lap in the photo above.

Once again, Merry Christmas from Desdinova the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!

THE SONG "SOCIETY'S CHILD" ISN'T ABOUT ME

I first heard the song "Society's Child" by Janis Ian when I was in junior high in Lebanon, MO. It was on an Kansas AM oldies station late one night (this was in the early 80's).

At the time I was infatuated with Eunice Moneymaker (pictured above) and several other of her cheerleader friends. Everyone from the redneck rubes in class to teachers and other adults told me I couldn't go steady with a cheerleader since I wasn't a jock. They would get very angry at me when I said it shouldn't matter that I wasn't a jock and should be allowed to have a cheerleader as a girlfriend. Apparently this is some big important law on the books in either the city of Lebanon and Laclede County as much hatred as was directed at me for wanting to break the "cheerleaders-only-go-with-jocks-law." If this is a law I'm going to ask both Lebanon Mayor C.P. Craig and President Obama to create a law to force cheerleaders to date at least one nerd a month.

I heard this song and thought this was about how Eunice wasn't (and the other cheerleaders) allowed to go steady with me because I wasn't a jock.

I've since found out I was wrong about the song. It is about a white girl not being allowed to date a black boy.

However, I'm pretty certain that the songs "Seven Year Ache" by Roseanne Cash and "You're So Vain" by Carly Simon are about me.

I should say that Eunice's mother, Kay, is a very nice lady and had no problems with me being in love with her daughter. It was Eunice had a problem with me being in love with her. If you see Kay, tell her Sherman Muckenfuss says hello (Yes, my real name is Sheman Muckenfuss - At least it ain't Shottenkirk).
Here is Janis Ian singing that song on the Smothers Brother Comedy Hour in 1967.

FARAH FAWCETT DIES AFTER A BATTLE WITH CANCER

My one weakness is blond women. From my junior high crush on a girl named Eunice Moneymaker to my obsession with Paris Hilton, I love well-dressed, blond girls with a lot of long hair. It probably started with Farah Fawcett. She died today at 62 after a brave battle with cancer. Here is the CNN obit.

One of my favorite moments involving Farah is from Cannonball Run. She plays a reporter/environmental activist ("I just LOVE trees!") investigating the cross-country Cannonball Race. She winds up in the ambulance driven by Burt Reynolds and Dom Deluise. She puts up a fuss so they have their doctor, played by Jack Elam, to give her laughing gas to calm her down. They wind up stopped by a car driven Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Junior, who are disguised as priest. Dean Martin realizes that Burt Reynolds is using the ambulance as a disguise as well. Reynolds tells him they have to get their "patient" to a hospital. Martin insist on looking in the back of the ambulance saying he has to "bless the patient." Reynolds opens the door where Farah lays zonked out and giggling on laughing gas. Dean Martin exclaims "OH, I'VE GOT TO BLESS HER!"

God bless you, Farah.

MTV News Reports: The Cramps Singer Lux Interior Dead At 62

I first heard the Cramps on the Midnite Snack when I was in junior high. Some girl (Wonder who she was? She introduced me to great music) played The Cramps version of "Surfin Bird." I liked the Cramps because of their covers of obscure hits and the cover photos of Poison Ivy.

When I arrived at KSMU to do the Midnite Smack a few years later, I and some of my fellow Midnite Snack announcers thought that eventually we would take over the industry and put the Cramps music into heavy rotation. Unfortunatly, the industry is still run by money-grubbing weasels who seem to think radio should only consist of "family-friendly-timeless-love-songs," country music and Rush and his many wanna-be clones. This is why radio is in such a sad state. Below is a link to the MTV News report.

Cramps Singer Lux Interior Dead At 62 - News Story Music, Celebrity, Artist News MTV News

I See Nothing Wrong With Those Jeans

Before you read what I have to say, check out Busplunge's post about the Calvin Klein ads with Brooke Shields. Those ads are still sexy. So why are all the sleazy gossip websites ridiculing several female stars such as Jessica Simpson, Kelly Brooks and Kim Kardashian (all pictured above) for wearing jeans like that? It appears those jeans are coming back in style but the gossip sites are trying to fight their return by calling these "mom jeans." So help me if there is a picture of Britney Spears or Paris Hilton in a skintight pair of Dittos or Sasson with a caption "mom jeans" on one of those websites, I'll zap the nasty little person behind that gossip site with my death-ray and scatter their atoms to the fore winds. Did you know there is a gossip site called "Dirty Whores"? That is highly disrespectful to any woman famous or not!

While we are on the subject Ozarkers, could someone tell me the name of the Western wear store on the North Town Mall in Springfield that ran commercials in the early 80's with hot babes in tight jeans (like the ones above) shaking their booties to Joe Walsh's "All Night Long"? I loved that commercial when I was eleven/twelve.

Springfield Has Plenty of Porn in 1978

This ad appeared in the Springfield Daily News in 1978.

FIVE DAYS UNTIL HALLOWEEN

Yes, five days until Halloween, my favorite holliday. Of course, none of the radio stations in Springfield are playing wall-to-wall Halloween music like I have suggested they should. Watch - next week one of the stations will start playing wall-to-wall Christmas music just to irritate me. YOU SHOULDN'T PLAY CHRISTMAS MUSIC UNTIL DECEMBER!

Last Halloween, I posted a list of my Top 50 favorite songs for Halloween. I have had more hits on that post than any other. I've decided to post that list of songs again.
These songs are not in order:

1. Monster Mash – Bobby B. Pickett
2. Dinner With Drac – John Zacherle
3. Til The Following Night – Screaming Lord Sutch
4. Bark at the Moon – Ozzy Osbourne
5. Don’t Fear The Reaper – Blue Oyster Cult
6. Bela Lugosi’s Dead - Bauhaus
7. Children of the Grave – Black Sabbath
8. Creature with The Atom Brain – Roky Erikson
9. Season of the Witch – Donavon
10. Welcome to My Nightmare - Alice Cooper
11. Frankenstein – Edgar Winter Group
12. Black Magic Women – Santana
13. She’s Fallen In Love with a Monster Man – Screaming Lord Sutch
14. She’s My Witch – Kip Tyler
15. The Voodoo Walk - Sonny Richard’s Panics (with Cindy and Lindy)
16. Purple People Eater – Sheb Wooley
17. The Midnight Stroll – The Revells
18. Vampire Rock and Roll – Fabulous Poodles
19. Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These) – Marilyn Manson
20. Spooky – Atlanta Rhythm Section
21. Thriller – Michael Jackson
22. Red Right Hand – Nick Cave
23. Witch Queen of New Orleans – Redbone
24. Batman, Wolfman, Frankenstein or Dracula – the Diamonds
25. Boris the Spider – The Who
26. Bloodletting - Concrete Blonde
27. Frankenstein - New York Dolls
28. Nightmare- Artie Shaw
29. In the Hall of the Mountain King - Sounds Incorporated
30. Casting My Spell - Johnny Otis Show
31. Night of Fear - The Move
32. You Must Be a Witch - Lollipop Shop
33. Charlotte’s Web - the Fuzztones
34. The Mummy - Bob Mc Fadden and Dor
35. The Blob - the Five Blobs
36. Ghost Riders in the Sky - The Ramrods
37. Hurry Sundown - The Outlaws
38. I Put a Spell on You - Screamin Jay Hawkins
39. Sympathy for the Devil - the Rolling Stones
40. Godzilla - Blue Oyster Cult
41. King Kong - The Kinks
42. Rockin in the Graveyard - Jackie Morningstar
43. Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon
44. The Witch - the Sonics
45. Black Sabbath - Black Sabbath
46. Black JuJu - Alice Cooper
47. I Walk on Gilded Splinters - Dr. John
48. Frankenstein’s Den - The Hollywood Flames
49. Screaming Ball at Dracula Hall - the Duponts
50. Grimly Fiendish - The Damned

I recently found another Halloween song. This is a German-made early disco song called "Soul Dracula." It was a big hit in Europe in 1975, which many people agree was the begining of the Disco Era. This should have been the nail in disco's coffin or stake in it's heart. I'm giving you this performance from a French TV variety show, because it has a cool looking Count Dracula, sexy dancing girls and a man in the audience with a dog puppet.

Russ Meyer Film at the Gilloiz

The Russ Meyer film Up! was shown at the Gillioz Theater in April of 1977. How about a Russ Meyer marathon at the newly restored Gillioz?

Have a Great Weekend (with the Weekend Girls)

A Studio ad from April of 1977 for a film called the Weekend Girls. Sorry that there isn't a listing on IMDB for this. I'm also sorry it is crooked.

I'd like to thank Jason (of Life of Jason) and Busplunge for mentioning my blog on their blogs this week. Busplunge found both Les Crane's Desdiderata and National Lampoon's Deteriarata (sp) on You Tube.

Back By Popular Demand - A Studio Ad

I haven't had the time to post any of these. This ad for Let's Play Doctor (Imaginative title, duh) comes from an issue of the Springfield Daily News from April 1977. This ad looks cheap. It is like the theater called the newspaper and said "Run a picture of a beautiful girl and write the title in with a Bic Banana marker." Remember, Desdinova likes to remind people of Springfield's naughty past. I'd also like to open a "family friendly" adult theater (that also serves cashew chicken).

Great Hera! Wonder Woman Finds a Floating Corpse!

The AP is reporting that actress Lynda Cater, who played Wonder Woman on TV in the 70s, was boating earlier this week when she saw a body floating in the Potomac River.

Here is the rest: "Lynda Carter tells The Washington Post she was alone in a boat when she saw the body Wednesday. She says she didn't have a cell phone with her, so she yelled to some fishermen and asked them to call police. Carter waited until rescuers arrived and directed them to the body.

District of Columbia police say the body of 47-year-old Helen Johnstone of Washington was found floating on the river Wednesday. The medical examiner's office has not declared an official cause of death.

Carter says she "did what anybody would have done." (snip)

At least it wasn't Steve Trevor. I remember a discussion with some classmates in college in which my friend Jennifer said she wanted to be Wonder Woman because she had "a man she had to take care of."

That Song in the Axe Commercial

If you've seen the Axe Commercial where the guy imagines every girl he sees in their underwear, you've heard this song. It is by one of the most overlooked rock bands of the 60s (at least by oldies/classic rock radio) - the Seeds. They were sort of viewed as the United States answer to the Rolling Stones. Sky Saxon certainly tried to sound like Mick Jagger. The late Lester Bangs said what made their only Top 40 "Pushin Too Hard" great was it escentially "Louie Louie" only faster and reduced to two chords from three.