DESDINOVA'S CHRISTMAS MESSAGE

DESDINOVA'S RADIO PERSONALITY APTITUDE TEST

Desdinova's Radio Personality Aptitude Test

WORST JOB l EVER HAD - WATERLESS COOKWARE SALESMAN (While Bullied by Texans)

I thought the readers still subscribing to the old blog would enjoy this post from my current blog.

WHY I STOPPED TALKING ABOUT POLITICS AND NEWS

Someone sent me an e-mail asking why I wasn't posting anything about politics. Andy Cline of Rhetorica once said I wrote some of the best satire of anyone. He was one of the few who liked it.
Not only were there many people in the Ozarks who didn't like it. I received many death threats, mainly from an idiot at Mansfield, Mo. The main problem was some people in the local media, including co-workers, who didn't like it. They felt I made fun of the wrong people or things. I've been told I've been blacklisted by at least one of the radio clusters here in Springfield (Clear Channel). The co-workers who didn't like my opinions went to management and tried to get me fired.
I should note that I'm not angry about the state of the country like I was when I first started the old blog, however, I am not happy with the state of the Ozarks. I may never be. I've hated the Ozarks since I was in elementary school.
I have figured out that nothing makes Ozarkers more upset than someone having fun, being entertained and not griping about politics. So that is what I am doing with my current blog. I'm entertaining people.  I'm much happier and I'm having fun. The response is much slower but has always been very positive. That is what I like.

AFTER FIVE YEARS, NO MORE UPDATES HERE

On this, the fifth anniversary of my starting this blog, I wish to announce that I will no longer be updating this blog. I will continue to post over at my new blog, The New Adventures of Desdinova the Super Villain of the Ozarks. Please continue to follow me by clicking on the link above and choose "follow." It has gotten too time consuming to try to post material to both blog sites.

I should also let some long time readers know that I deleted quite a few post. Why?

1. Irrelevance. This blog originally tried to be topical. However, it was to a fault. Many of my post really didn't need to be here any more. Some of them I read and couldn't figure out who or what they were about. I had to Google the names.
2. Broken links. I linked to some local news websites for some of my post. Those stories or articles are gone. Many of the times I posted to material on YouTube (especially music) has been removed. So I removed those post as well.
3. I deleted things that might keep me from a finding a new job. I apparently stepped on a few toes of some people in the media, as well as most of the Ozarks. Anyone who knows me knows that I love the media, which is why I studied it at S.M.S.U (now M.S.U) and obtained a Bachelor of Science degree in it. I felt that many of my statements about the local media were nothing more that constructive criticism. Some didn't feel that way. One company, apparently told someone I know, that I have been blacklisted from working at that company. I should point out that I was much rougher on another company and an on-air "personality" that worked there. Of course, that company took care of that problem. The criticism I gave the company that blacklisted me was mild to what I gave their rival across town. Then again, I also had some people in the company I worked for that, instead of thinking what I did was funny and laughing along, were upset about my comments about a rival company and it's on-air "personality." I knew that people in the Ozarks are touchy, but I didn't realize that people in the media were that touchy too.

However, I left quite a few things because I felt, if you were offended by what I wrote, you probably deserve it. Much of what I have posted here is satire. It was just a fun way of looking at political opinions held by many here in the Ozarks. Many of those who complained were what I called "weenie bloggers" and talk radio host. They seemed to be a humorless group of people, who made themselves miserable because their extreme beliefs. I feel that life is too short to not be able to laugh at world around us. I also found it interesting that many of these bloggers and talk radio host, who hated me so much are no longer around. That was part of the reason I decided to change the blogs direction.


I thought this blog might lead to a job as a morning show host, but apparently that wasn't going to happen. The new blog is focused on things I can write about much more easily. There will probably be less animosity and violence advocated toward me. My hope is I can develop a radio show, preferably syndicated, that will be tied into the retro theme. Contrary to what some would tell you, I believe there is a need for that type of programming in many radio markets.

I plan to leave this blog up for now. I plan to resurrect some of the post on the new blog from time to time. I hope to hear from some of you fans on the new blog. 

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE NEW ADVENTURES OF DESDINOVA!

The New Adventures of Desdinova the Super Villain of the Ozarks: MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE NEW ADVENTURES OF DESDINO...: That is me, Christmas 1978.

THE REASON A NATIONAL ANTI-BULLYING LAW NEEDS REPARATIONS FOR VICTIMS

As you know from reading this blog, I believe we need a national law to deal with the bullying problem. In November, I wrote a post about how I feel that there needs to be a strict federal anti-bullying law. This law should also require the bully and his/her family to pay reparations to the victim.

Some people would say, "Desdinova, why would you believe such a thing is necessary?" My reason has a name: Donny Dickweed (pictured above).

Donny was both a jock and a preppy. His grandfather was the president of the local bank and his family owned a company that made recliners and mattresses. Donny picked on both me and my "good twin brother." As a matter of fact, Donny Dickweed is one of the models for the bad guy, Johnny Waldorf, in my "good twin brother's" novel, Real George.

What is Donny Dickweed doing today? I saw his profile on Facebook and he lives in a large beach house in Florida with a hot wife. He is in real estate and is (of course) a Republican. Meanwhile, I live in a small apartment and make minimum wage, even though I have two college degrees and work in the mass media.

I feel every time somebody buys a recline or mattress, I and my "good twin brother" should get at least 75-percent of the profit to make up for all the "heart-checks," "pink bellies" and "Does-this-hurt?" sessions we were forced to endure from this guy. I also want to note that he didn't just pick on me and my "good twin brother" but other students both male and female. I once saw him choke a female student until she nearly passed out. He also called Eunice Moneymaker "zit face" until she cried.

There were very few teachers and administrators who would stand up to this jerk, because his family were very prominant in the community. His grandfather has a monument to dedicated to him or something like that. Donny was allowed to get away with this sort of behavior because of his family's money and power.

If you are wondering, neither I nor my "good twin brother" are friends with Donny Dickweed on Facebook. Eunice Moneymaker is but, as I have pointed out before, Eunice didn't have good taste in men or she would have went steady with me.

The fact is one never forgets the scars left by a bully, however if the bully and his family had to pony up some dough to the victim (75 percent of every recliner and mattress sold), the pain might hurt less.

I DON'T LIKE GUYS WHO WEAR SUITS

I don't like guys who wear suits. They are usually preppy douche bags, who have a fetish-like obsession with money.

Case in point: two guys who I had to deal with at work today. They were Republicans (naturally) and they were wearing matching suits. I just kept think to myself, "What did these two dimwits do to screw up their lives to make themselves so uncool?" and also "Why is everyone here at work acting like these guys are cooler than me? These guys are dorks who wear suits!!!" The sad part is these geeks make more money than me.

An opinion, like this one, is why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!!

COMEDY IS LOST ON SOME OZARKERS

I recently started putting some classic comedy track into my Ipod. There many times that I just need a good laugh.

Some of the classic pieces in my Ipod comedy section:

• "Class Clown" by George Carlin
• "Father Flotski's Triumph" by Lenny Bruce
• "One Leg Too Few" by Peter Cook & Dudley Moore
• "The Further Adventures of Nick Danger" by Firesign Theater
• "Driving Instructor" by Bob Newhart
• "What It Was Was Football" by Andy Griffith
• "Sister Mary Elephant" by Cheech & Chong
• "The Dentist" by Bill Cosby
• "Little Blue Ridding Hood" by Stan Freburg
• "The Devil Made Me Buy This Dress" by Flip Wilson
• "The Parrot Sketch" by Monty Python's Flying Circus
• "Buckwheat" by Eddie Murphy
• "Mom Liked You Best" by the Smothers Brothers
• "Grandpa Funk" by Robin Williams
• "A Wild and Crazy Guy" by Steve Martin

A pretty good selection of great comedy. You notice there isn't any Larry the Cable Guy in my Ipod.

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM DESDINOVA!!!

Here are some photos of the things I want for Christmas. I'm sure this will upset some of the bloggers from the Nixa/Ozark area.

WHY DID I GET INTO RADIO?

I complain about the radio industry, which I am appear of. People have said, "If you don't like it, why did you take a job in the radio industry?"

As many of you know, the radio industry crossed over to the DARK SIDE!

I found this video of a hit song from 1974 that celebrates the reason I got into radio. There is no talk about President Obama's birth certificate, immigration, "Fair Tax," socialism, Reagan fetishism or "the defending the Constitution." Just the important stuff.

An opinion, like this one, is why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

KATY PERRY GET REVENGE ON GUY WHO IGNORED HER IS SCHOOL

This is one of those stories I love. Yahoo Music reports that super hot babe and pop music star Katy Perry was performing a concert at the high school she attended. She saw a jock boy, who wouldn't give her the time of day in high school, in the audience. She pointed him out in front of everyone at the concert and let the jerk have it.

Pointing out into the audience, she identified one specific member of the crowd and asked, "Is that Shane Lopes? You were the most popular kid in my class, but you never wanted to date me, it was always Amanda Wayne." As the crowd laughed and cheered, she adopted a bit of swagger and added, "Oh yeah, you really chose right, honey. What's up now, playa?" Becoming an international, Grammy-nominated pop star evidently does wonderful things for your self-confidence.

TAKE THAT, JOCK BOY!!!

Apparently, this story upset some other little jock boy-douche bags. If you look at the comments, you will see some ugly hatred toward the incredible looking Miss Perry.

Among them is a comment from a brain damaged idiot calling himself "independent." Besides being too stupid to capitalize his name, he shows how un-hip and stupid he is by saying, "What a piece of garbage. still stuck in high school? Tells a lot about her just from this story. She must not be that great since I have never even heard of her until now." Excuse me, "independent," if you would stop listening to crap like Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh, you would know who Katy Perry is. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS A PIECE OF GARBAGE, YOU TALK-RADIO LISTENING SCUMBAG!!!

And then there is a scumbag called "See See," who says: "What a child... Move on... It does not prove anything, only that you are still bitter."

I should have known "See See" would have something hateful, negative and malicious to say, because they used this "weird baby" avatar. Anytime you see that, the post is usually by a person who is hateful, racist, right-wing, douche bag, asshole. I really wish the government would do something about these people, like have them arrested and tortured to death.

Loyal readers know that I frequently like to embarrass Eunice Moneymaker of Lebanon, MO for not going out with me in junior high and high school. Contrary to what a bunch of nitwits posting on Yahoo would say, I have every right to make fun of her now. Like Katy Perry, I'm famous.

I'M GOING TO START A RADIO FORMAT CONSULTING FIRM

I've decided to do something I never thought I would do. I'm going to start a radio format consulting firm. This is the only way I can get radio the way I want it.

I have the perfect name for my radio format consulting firm. At least three of my co-workers in the last week have said, "Radio format consultants are as worthless as a warm bucket of pee."

So I plan to call my radio format consulting firm: WARM BUCKET OF P RADIO CONSULTANTS.

Of course, an opinion, like this one, is why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I WANT TO HOLD A "HEY LIGHTEN UP AMERICA" RALLY IN BRANSON

I WANT TO RESTORE HUMOR AND FUN IN AMERICA! THAT IS MY GOAL!

I would like to hold a "HEY LIGHTEN UP AMERICA" rally, because for the past nine years there has been under siege by a mentality that we have to take everything serious, live in fear and suspicion of others and hate anything fun and entertaining. I blame this on the talk radio crowd and Faux News. We need to restore a sense of fun and humor badly. When people get up and arms on You Tube over that old Peter Pan Peanut Butter commercial with Laugh-In's Alan Sues in it, you know that this country has a bad crisis in the humor and fun department.

I would be the host and MC of the event. For a co-host, I need a wild, hot babe like Paris Hilton, Katy Perry, Britney Spears, Milly Cyrus or Lindsay Lohan. A special guest will be Steven "Hit the Slide and Ride" Slater. The perfect location for this would be Branson, MO on 76 Country Boulevard. We also need a cross section of music both alternative and hip hop. NO COUNTRY MUSIC WILL BE ALLOWED. BOOZE AND OTHER SUBSTANCES WILL BE PROVIDED. CLOTHING WILL BE OPTIONAL.

Security will be provided by the "New" Black Panthers.

Everyone will receive a free pink toothbrush to ward off evil spirits (and out of work Canadian talk radio show host).

I'm sure this will draw ten times the crowd that Glenn Beck's stupid rally did. And when I he sees I drew a bigger crowd than him and Silly Sarah of Moosealoony, they will both cry "Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo."

Of course, an opinion, like this one, is what makes me the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!

IDEA FOR A DESDINOVA NOVEL

I've noticed some of the other bloggers on SGF Blogs have published original fiction on their blog sites. I'm considering trying this. I thought it would be interesting to write a series of comical/satiric novels about myself - Desdinova the Super Villain of the Ozarks.

There have been very few super villains who have been the main character in a series of novels. The only ones I can think of are Sax Rohmer's Fu Manchu and Thomas Harris' Hannibal Lecter. In each novel, Desdinova would commit a crime that would horrify the Ozarks, but would probably not be taken seriously in California, New York or even Oklahoma. The local authorities would be so incompetent that they would be unable to stop Desdinova.

The plot of the first novel would be similar to John Wyndham's The Midwich Cuckoos, which has been filmed twice under the title the Village of the Damned. The plot is also based on the old joke about "something in the water."

Desdinova develops a technique called "covert hydro fertilization." He uses this technique to impregnate women attending a convention for Republican women through complimentary bottled water given to those attending. The women are not only shocked that they are pregnant (since Republicans don't have sex) but their pregnancies only last three weeks.

Once the children are born, they begin to grow and mature rapidly. The boys, who all look like the cute little boy pictured above, have a maniacal laugh (Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!). They do horrible things to embarrass their parents in front of their rich friends. Slowly they begin to try and bump off their parents. That is when it is discovered that they are under the power of Desdinova and their goal is world domination! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Just an idea so far.

WHY DON'T YOU SAY THAT IN YOUR COMMERCIALS?

I've been planing to sound off on what I thought of the Republican candidates for the 7th district congressional seat. I've heard what they have had to say, on the Turner Report, the KY3 Political blog and those stupid commercials, and I question most of these individuals sanity. I especially don't like this sovereignty kick they are on. I know what Missouri would be like if the Supreme Court or White House couldn't overthrow the dumb ideas created by some of the people we sent to Jeff City.

With that said, I was in an awkward position today. One of the candidates was in my place of work (NO, not my secret underground laboratory beneath the Springfield's Park Central Square). He was appearing on one of the radio stations in the cluster and he needed some production work done. I was asked to help before he went on the air. As usual, I had to be on-air in a few moments and record two segments that were to run immediately.

This guy wasn't like most of the Republicans I've dealt with in my career or my life. He was incredibly polite and patient. He understood why I wasn't giving him immediate attention. I called on of my supervisor, who said he would be back to the radio station in a few moments. He said he could help this person. I should note this production involved a political ad and LOTS OF MONEY. I was not wanting to be responsible if I messed it up. Since neither I or the candidate had the time for the production, I told him that my supervisor would be back and could help him after his interview. He said that was fine with him.

I made the joke, "You might not want to work with me. I side with the opposing party." He just laughed and said, "Nothing wrong with that. There are some good and honest people who are Democrats. We just don't agree on issues."

THEN SAY IN YOUR COMMERCIALS THAT THERE ARE SOME GOOD AND HONEST DEMOCRATS! DON'T DEMONIZE US AS DESTROYING THE COUNTRY LIKE THE OTHER REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES!

If I see an commercial from this guy saying this, I'll have more respect for him than the other 7th District Congressional candidates. I still won't vote for the guy, but I'll have more respect for him.

Of course, an opinion, like the one above, is why I'm considered the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

BLOG NET NEWS IS GONE

The Turner Report: Blog Net News bites the dust

I knew it wasn't long for this world when I made the Top 10 two weeks in a row.

I MISS THE CRAIG HALL CROWD & I STILL HATE THE PREPPIES

Permit me to wax nostalgic for a bit, but this post has been coming for awhile and it is something I have to get out of my system. I've been thinking about my college years, when I was obtaining my Bachelor of Science in Media. I was just out of high school, away from home and I didn't have a job, so I was able to enjoy myself and have fun.

I found it was easier to make friends with people at SMSU (now known as MSU) than it was in the Lebanon R-3. For one thing, the need to conform to what everyone else was doing disappears in college. Also, I seem to have more in common with the city kids. We tended to like the same music, movies and other activities. We were the "Craig Hall Crowd," because that was where the communications, media and drama classes were held.

The people I tend to hang with in college tended to wear tie dye shirts with peace signs on them or shirts that said "EAT THE RICH" on them. Some even had pink t-shirts with a photo of Howard McNear, the barber from the Andy Griffith Show on the front and the words "PINK FLOYD" on the back. Get it! Yeah, it was funnier in 1987. We tended to drive older model small cars with bumper stickers reading "He who dies with the most toys, STILL DIES" or "Wouldn't be nice if the schools had plenty of money and the Pentagon had to have a bake sale?"

Our dorm room walls were covered in posters of Jim Morrison, Ozzy Osbourne and James Dean, as well as numerous assorted scantly clad women. The only names I can think of for these women were Marilyn (The Seven Year Itch subway grate pose), Farah (These were usually kind of ragged because they had been around for several years), Brooke and Elvira (Yes, THAT Elvira - usually these were Budweiser promotional posters, so you wonder if these guys were more attracted to beer than the big breasted Goth chick). Oh, I cannot forget the Tennis Girl poster (above).

I should point out that there was a boom in psychedelic music and fashion. Part of this may have been because Rolling Stone was celebrating its 20th anniversary and running a lot of retrospective article on the Summer of Love and the 60s. However, as I look back, we may have been rebelling against the "Just Say No" crap that had been forced down our throats in junior high and high school.

There were some people that we didn't like. These people were what we called Preppies. These people were like the villains in a lot the comedy films of the time. While we were wanting to Bluto from Animal House, these people wanted to be Greg Marmalard and Douglas C. Neidemeyer from Animal House. These people took things way too seriously. They were like the people we didn't like in junior high and high school. They were all involved in Young Republicans and came to class wearing ties. They were always business majors of some sort, only interested in money and kissing butt. They were overachievers, who felt Bart Simpson was a bad role model for children. Bad part I see many young college kids now who are exactly like the Preppie kids. Kind of sad when you think about it.

Someone at the Standard gave one of these boneheads a column. I can remember his last name was Seitz, because I thought he was full of baloney. He spread hate toward anyone who didn't think like him and his tie wearing Preppie friends. He probably is either a talk radio host or a weenie blogger. They went to little meetings on Monday night where they listened to speeches by Mel Hancock and Jean Dixon. Needless to say these people were not out having fun like the rest of us.


I guess what has brought this on is the fact I keep running into or seeing the Preppies around Springfield, but the people I liked are nowhere to be seen. Maybe they went back to St. Louis, Kansas City and Chicago. At least one person, went to Hollywood. I see her on TV from time to time. I guess the Preppies were from here in Springfield. I hope my friends are still they way they were when we were in school. After all the Preppies are all still the obnoxious little twerps they were when we were in school.

Of course, opinions like this are why I'm the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

WHY DO I GET FLAK FOR DOING THE PSYCHEDELIC LIMITS ON KSMU?

I've mentioned before that my first job in radio was at KSMU-FM. I was one of several young media students who worked overnights as part of a show called the Midnight Snack. We would take in our own got college credit and, most importantly, we got radio experience. Once a month, I would play only psychedelic music on my show with some comedy from the likes of Firesign Theater, George Carlin and Cheech & Chong. I called this segment, The Psychedelic Limits. I was inspired to do this show from a syndicated radio show called Flashback (which didn't air in Springfield at the time - it later ran on KWTO-FM and KKLH), the All-Night Coffee House on KCFX, and Beaker Street. Many of my radio instructors at MSU (then SMSU) told me to mention the show in my resume because "it would show potential employers that I was creative."


For some reason, I have gotten flak from several people in the radio industry (and radio fans too) for doing this show. I was told by one former boss that the show was "unethical" and the "equivalent of pushing drugs on the radio at the tax payers expense." This was from someone who thinks great radio is a program called "Bids for Bargains."


At my current job, my college work gets the same kind of disrespect. I was told the music I played on that show was "hippie" music and "hippies have ruined America." That's funny, I thought it was the Republicans. Oddly enough, "hippies" are still a worry for some of my co-workers. They tend prefer the company of redneck women who talk about blowing people's heads off or old men who wish we would bring segregation back.

I would just like to go on record for saying that the lyrics of most psychedelic songs are more creative and meaningful than most of the country songs that Ozarkers and local radio management find so wonderful (Yes, Desdinova has been forced to play country music in his radio career). I'll give you the lyrics to four songs I played on my KSMU psychedelic show: "Incense and Peppermint" by Strawberry Alarm Clock, "Mister, You're a Better Man Than I" by the Yardbirds, "Requiem For the Masses" by the Association and "Planet Caravan" by Black Sabbath. Now compare these to the silly lyrics of "Chicken Fried" by Zac Brown Band, a favorite of many Ozarkers. I think you can see my point (BTW: Do you hear the line "A yardstick for lunatics with one point of view" and immediately think of Glenn Beck?). Some feel this music is destructive. That is dumb, especially considering that the same people think good radio is having a host wishing for the Springfield school board to die in a car accident or hoping that someone burns down MSU.

Much of this bile from the local industry comes from the fact that this was on KSMU, which is not only public radio, but owned by a state university. I was supposedly "wasting the taxpayers dollars." They could have been spent on something like a war. That would be a much better use of taxpayer money than my training for the radio industry. Oh yeah, I forgot, I should have gotten a MBA.

I just think I'm getting too much heat over something that could have helped the industry. Of course, opinions like this are why I'm considered the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Enjoy a little psychedelia from the Pretty Things.



LIKE MY T-SHIRT?

That is me in one of my Desdinova-Super Villain of the Ozarks t-shirts you can get from Zazzle. If you are wondering, I am trying desperately to lose weight.