I WANT TO HOLD A "HEY LIGHTEN UP AMERICA" RALLY IN BRANSON

I WANT TO RESTORE HUMOR AND FUN IN AMERICA! THAT IS MY GOAL!

I would like to hold a "HEY LIGHTEN UP AMERICA" rally, because for the past nine years there has been under siege by a mentality that we have to take everything serious, live in fear and suspicion of others and hate anything fun and entertaining. I blame this on the talk radio crowd and Faux News. We need to restore a sense of fun and humor badly. When people get up and arms on You Tube over that old Peter Pan Peanut Butter commercial with Laugh-In's Alan Sues in it, you know that this country has a bad crisis in the humor and fun department.

I would be the host and MC of the event. For a co-host, I need a wild, hot babe like Paris Hilton, Katy Perry, Britney Spears, Milly Cyrus or Lindsay Lohan. A special guest will be Steven "Hit the Slide and Ride" Slater. The perfect location for this would be Branson, MO on 76 Country Boulevard. We also need a cross section of music both alternative and hip hop. NO COUNTRY MUSIC WILL BE ALLOWED. BOOZE AND OTHER SUBSTANCES WILL BE PROVIDED. CLOTHING WILL BE OPTIONAL.

Security will be provided by the "New" Black Panthers.

Everyone will receive a free pink toothbrush to ward off evil spirits (and out of work Canadian talk radio show host).

I'm sure this will draw ten times the crowd that Glenn Beck's stupid rally did. And when I he sees I drew a bigger crowd than him and Silly Sarah of Moosealoony, they will both cry "Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo."

Of course, an opinion, like this one, is what makes me the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!

BEING IN THE MEDIA USED TO MEAN SOMETHING

I've been thinking back to my college days lately. From the moment I entered Missouri State University (then Southwest Missouri State University) in the fall of 1987, I knew what I wanted to major in and what field I want to pursue: media. I felt I could do work in any media field: radio, TV or newspaper. At that time there was no such creature as "the Internet."

After working for over twenty years in all three forms of media, I feel that being a member of the media is being rendered meaningless by corporate greed and their need to pander to those who hate the media.

For instance, at least two of the major corporate radio chains have cut the jobs of local talent and replaced them with inexperienced, untrained, uneducated part-timers, who are simply there to make sure the automation runs a feed from another city. This has already caused some embarrassment for one company during a recent tornado.

The talk radio industry enjoys hiring people who are outside broadcasting or journalism to host shows. A big trend is to hire out-of-work politicians, political consultants or business people to be "the voice of reason." Many of the talk radio host (some local host included) have their "callers" prearranged. These are friends reading from scripts or are political consultants masquerading as "regular people." (How many regular people do you know named "Jack-Jack") Local some of the talk radio shows have very little screening or gate keeping. Part of this is due to time constraints of the "open forum" nature of the show, but also because Bubba Earl Thorndike from Dry Knobb or Betty June Nosbey from Koshginong gets upset if they don't get on the air to give their opinion.

Locally, the News Leader has let go of several well-known, respected and talented journalist in favor of giving a column to people like this redneck idiot.

Websites for local TV stations and newspapers have "comment sections" which allow Bubba Earl and Betty June to slam a story if they don't like it and overrule what ever KOLR's Joy Robertson or KYTV's Ethan Forhetz said. "That'll learn dem thar media folks a lessin."

And don't get me started on the "stars" created by reality TV!

RBR/TVBR reports that a Republican lawmaker in Michigan wants journalist to be licensed by the state. Bad part, I agree with a little of this. A law requiring a journalist to get a license is wrong (especially when you read the provisions), however, holding corporate media management responsible for hiring skilled, educated journalist rather than amateur hacks that "represent the average citizen" when most of these people sound like Klan members.

What in the long run cost less? The salary of a good journalist/media person or a lawsuit after Bubba and Betty slandered someone or didn't air a tornado warning.

I guess what bothers me is the fact that I got into the media to be a "voice" people listened to and trusted. Every place I have worked has forced me into the background while making the amateur the "voice" that I should be. Supposedly, their opinions and interest are more important than mine. That is why I had to start this blog is because some people in the commercial media don't feel I represent the "typical Ozarks view" or my ideas "might upset" Ozarkers.

Of course, that is why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

BTW: Doesn't Paris Hilton make a cute reporter?

SOMETHING FUNNY ABOUT THESE "MARRIED" SPRINGFIELD BOYS

This post will probably upset most of Springfield, but I feel this needs to be brought out into the open. Some of the other bloggers, such as Busplunge and Fat Jack, have brought this up in various post and it always produces a flurry of negative comments from those on the right (Usually that little punk named Jeremy). I don't allow comments, so I feel safe. I have noticed, while eating at a pizza buffett here in town, that there are a great number of attractive women married to upwardly mobile men who are closeted gay.

I know what you people are going to do. You will start saying I'm an evil person for suggesting this, but I'm observing this more and more in our community. You will see a whole group of families at a restaurant. The children will be eating and playing. The mothers will be swapping "mommy talk." While all of this going on, these lovely ladies' husbands are winking at each other, between yelling at the kids and talking about sports. Before anyone says it is my imagination, I want to point out that, at some point, one of these "family" men will say to another one (in a high feminine voice) "This chocolate chip pizza is to dddiiiieee for!"

They have all the trappings of being the kind of men that talk radio show host and News Leader letter writers think everyone should be. They drive an Escalade plastered with a McCain-Palin sticker and a "Support the Troops" magnet. They are wearing T-shirts with religious theme or a sports team logo on them. However, these guys act like their wives are a just a person who came along for the ride. No hugging, kissing or hand holding. She is just a kid wrangler.

I firmly believe there is a secret network of conservative groups and churches in this community that fix successful, gay Republican men up with attractive "beards" looking for a meal-ticket. They may have connections to some national groups.

I've noticed several ways to tell if a guy is one of these closeted-gay-conservative-family-guys-married-to-an-attractive-woman.

1. They call sports talk radio and whine about how people making fun of Tim Tebow.

2. They cry along with Glenn Beck.

3. They can't get their Blue-Ray DVD of Avatar to work in their DVD player and blame "liberals in Hollywood" for this.

4. They trash poetry books by MSU professors on their blog.

5. They are offended by Katy Perry’s "I Kissed a Girl."

6. They won't bring their wife's fudge to the office cookie swap at Christmas because they fear being labeled a "fudge packer."

7. They talk about how they think Sarah Palin is more attractive than Paris Hilton. They also think Dr. Laura is more attractive than Kim Kardashian.

8. They have a phobia about pink toothbrushes.

9. They tell people their occupation is a venture capitalist.

10. They have referred to Scott Brown as a "hottie."

Personally, I think someone should just let these guys be gay. These attractive women could be better suited with a guy like me. It looks like someone could find me an attractive wife. I may not be a Republican, from a well-to-do family or have a successful business, but I AM HETEROSEXUAL.

Of course, opinions like these are why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I See Nothing Wrong With Those Jeans

Before you read what I have to say, check out Busplunge's post about the Calvin Klein ads with Brooke Shields. Those ads are still sexy. So why are all the sleazy gossip websites ridiculing several female stars such as Jessica Simpson, Kelly Brooks and Kim Kardashian (all pictured above) for wearing jeans like that? It appears those jeans are coming back in style but the gossip sites are trying to fight their return by calling these "mom jeans." So help me if there is a picture of Britney Spears or Paris Hilton in a skintight pair of Dittos or Sasson with a caption "mom jeans" on one of those websites, I'll zap the nasty little person behind that gossip site with my death-ray and scatter their atoms to the fore winds. Did you know there is a gossip site called "Dirty Whores"? That is highly disrespectful to any woman famous or not!

While we are on the subject Ozarkers, could someone tell me the name of the Western wear store on the North Town Mall in Springfield that ran commercials in the early 80's with hot babes in tight jeans (like the ones above) shaking their booties to Joe Walsh's "All Night Long"? I loved that commercial when I was eleven/twelve.

Desdinova's New Years Resolutions for 2009

My New Years Resolutions for 2009 include:

1. Post something on this blog that will cause both KSGF's Vincent David Jericho and KWTO's Chuck Booms to explode simultaneously.


2. Have some bonehead write a letter to the News Leader about me.


3. Marry Paris Hilton.


4. Change one of the local country or talk stations into a hot Top 40 station.


5. Take over the world. Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHA!
   
   

Let's Give Paris Something to Cry About

If you read this blog often you know I haven’t taken the Paris Hilton thing very serious. I think that in the long run this is a non-issue. I think there are some Internet sights making this and the cable news networks making this into a big deal. Brad Belote on the KY3 blog has written a great piece on the media’s obsession with this.

Here is my take. Yes, Paris committed a crime. Yes, she should be punished. With that said let’s look at why this is getting so much play on the cable news and Internet.

• Paris Hilton is female. There is whole anti-female sentiment expressed on one of the two major cable networks. That network has been touting the idea (much like their "war on Christmas") that there is a "war on men." They obviously believe Paris Hilton needs to be punished for being a girl. She (and her pals, Lyndsay Lohan and Britney Spears) need to be punished for being, as they used to say, "fast girls." Then again these same people hated Princess Di and today hate Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Michelle Wi and Danica Patrick. The only women they like are Anne Coulter and Condelizza Rice. These individuals don’t want women in sports, politics or business. Just keep them at home in the kitchen.



• She is under 30. There is an anti-youth movement afoot with the same cable network and the talk radio boys. Anything young people like (YouTube, MySpace, Ipods etc.) is evil. This isn’t new even in the mainstream "old" media. The message in the "new" media is, "The only good young people are serving in Iraq. If you are not in Iraq, you should be in jail." Drudge and Rush have both made negative remarks about young people.



• She is connected to Hollywood and been on MTV. Notice how much of the coverage has mentioned that Hilton was on the MTV Movie Awards. There seems to be an attitude with the ‘new’ media that everyone in Hollywood and half of the state of California should be punished for something, usually being ‘liberal.’



• She is wasting the Hilton fortune. There are a group ‘new’ media fans who have a big business and money fetish. They admire Conrad Hilton for being a ‘self-made man’ and feel Paris is ruining the family name. These same people also took up for Ken Lay and the Enron boys.



• Midwestern-Good Americans are enjoying this. This is also the mentality that caused us to see way too much info about Anna Nicole Smith’s death. We want to see these famous people punished or hurt or dead. It makes us feel superior. Yeah, if you are a psycho.

Frankly, as Brad Belote said there are more important issues. If we looked at those issues we would probably see that they need to be fixed.