A MEDICAL QUESTION

2010 has been a bad year for me. I tore a tendon in my leg during a fall on the ice in January. This went undetected thanks to my former doctor, who said the pain in my ankle was caused by "my excessive weight." (Notice I said he was my former doctor) I've also had bronchitis, kidney stones, a spider bite and was diagnosed as being a type 2 diabetic.

I have a question for doctors and patients alike. It is allegorical to the current state of radio industry and American politics. I thought of this while read several disheartening news stories on All Access today. This also has local ramifications.

If you were in charge of a hospital, who would you hire to take care of patients and perform surgery? Would you hire experienced specialist and surgeons? Would you hire young specialist and surgeons just out of medical school? Or would you place your patients in the care of people who are not educated in medicine, but other fields? These people would be plumbers, stock brokers, mortgage lenders, bankers, real estate agents and auctioneers. They would pay you to allow them to operate on patients (It would be an ego thing).

Would you also support one of these stock brokers, mortgage lenders, bankers, real estate agents or auctioneers if they want to be president of the American Medical Association, even though they don't know anything about medical science? They would be "outsiders" from the medical profession, but they are "business men."

After all, a plumber, stock broker, mortgage lender, banker, real estate agent or auctioneer may not have went to medical school, but they are "business men." They could probably do just as good operating on your prostrate or your brain tumor as someone who went to some big medical school in a big city somewhere. We all know that "business men" are so much smarter than teachers, firemen, policemen, judges, psychiatrist, social workers and media people, so they probably know more than some person who spent about ten years in college studying to be a doctor. Are you going to let them operate on you?

They'll probably cut your throat and let you bleed to death. That is what most "business men" do to us and our country anyway.

An opinion, like this one, is why I'm the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

VOID IN MISSOURI

The passing of Proposition C proves what I have thought ever since I was a small boy: Missouri is an awful place to live because it is filled with stupid people (pictured above).

Proposition C is just another chapter in the long and idiotic history of Missouri trying to keep any "evil" outside influence from crossing out state line.

I first became aware of this asinine practice of Missouri lawmakers when I was a child. You would see the words VOID IN MISSOURI in fine print. This meant that some stupid adult in Jefferson City was going to keep you from getting a neat prize or having any fun. You would see and ad in a comic book for a cool contest or offer for something you couldn't get at Wal-mart or Mattinglys 5 & 10, but at the bottom of the ad was the dreaded VOID IN MISSOURI.

"Win a Trip to Disney World" VOID IN MISSOURI!

"Win a Pool Party with Charlie's Angels" VOID IN MISSOURI!

"Win the Chance to Go On Tour with Kiss!" VOID IN MISSOURI!

"Win a Visit from Mork from Ork to Your School!" VOID IN MISSOURI!

"Win Every Marvel Comic Book Ever Published" VOID IN MISSOURI!

"Win Your Own Private McDonalds" VOID IN MISSOURI!

It wasn't only contest. There were even things for sale that were VOID IN MISSOURI! I remember having to give my sister's address in Oklahoma, just to order a Star Wars t-shirt. Apparently some nitwit in Jefferson City felt threatened by a skinny eight year old in Lebanon wearing a t-shirt with R2D2 and C3PO. A dollar to donuts says that the idiot that came up with the VOID IN MISSOURI law was elected by voters in Greene and Christian County (pictured above).

Much of this garbage comes from a group of privileged individuals who can control what rules are made from the State of Missouri down to the local school board. They make rules that punish people like me. Since they have the money and power, they want all the good stuff to be available to people with money and power. In Missouri, and the Ozarks especially, you only get to do something if your family is Republican or your family is Southern Baptist. They also like to require you to have good grades in elementary or high school (Good grades in college don't count - this called the Rush Limbaugh clause).

So now the idiotic voters in Missouri are going to keep the President's health care plan out of the hands of Missouri residents. It is like I'm eight years old all over again. Not only do I not have enough health insurance, but I also haven't met Mork, Kiss, Charlie's Angels nor do I own every Marvel comic book or a McDonalds. I hope all the stupid conservative hillbillies who voted "yes" on Proposition C get a major disease! (The people who voted "yes" on Proposition C are pictured above)

Of course, opinions, like these, are why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I WANT TO BE IN CHARGE OF THE DEATH PANEL

I have heard talk from the talk radio scum and weenie-bloggers that the President's health care plan includes something called a "DEATH PANEL." I like this concept and would like to volunteer my services to be DEATH MASTER GENERAL (Kind of like Post Master General).

I already have been thinking of some people that I would do-away with first in an effort to bring down the cost of health care and make the United States a much more livable place.

• People who refer to the President's health care plan as Obama-care.
• The host of most Fox News shows (I think Bill O'Rielly, Sean Hannity and Glen Beck could be used for strange medical experiments).
• People who think that the parking lot of Chilli's and Entertain Mart in Springfield is a street.
• Women who play the "Chicken Fried" by Zac Brown Band on the juke box at Buffalo Wild Wings.
• All right-wing talk radio show host, Tea-Baggers and Birthers.
• High paid CEO's (especially in the radio industry)
• Guys who call Jock 98.7 to complain about the Illusion's Gentleman's Club commercials with Chuck Booms.
• Anyone who uses the word "socialist" or "socialism" as an insult.
• People who use Bluetooth.
• People on Facebook who want you to sign a petition against a national holiday for Michael Jackson.
• Guys who like Sarah Palin more than Paris Hilton.

Don't worry, I'll think of more. I think that a Death Panel could be a good idea, but of course, opinions like these are what make me the SUPER-VILLAIN OF THE OZARKS!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!