MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM DESDINOVA!!!

Here are some photos of the things I want for Christmas. I'm sure this will upset some of the bloggers from the Nixa/Ozark area.

BLOG NET NEWS IS GONE

The Turner Report: Blog Net News bites the dust

I knew it wasn't long for this world when I made the Top 10 two weeks in a row.

I MISS THE CRAIG HALL CROWD & I STILL HATE THE PREPPIES

Permit me to wax nostalgic for a bit, but this post has been coming for awhile and it is something I have to get out of my system. I've been thinking about my college years, when I was obtaining my Bachelor of Science in Media. I was just out of high school, away from home and I didn't have a job, so I was able to enjoy myself and have fun.

I found it was easier to make friends with people at SMSU (now known as MSU) than it was in the Lebanon R-3. For one thing, the need to conform to what everyone else was doing disappears in college. Also, I seem to have more in common with the city kids. We tended to like the same music, movies and other activities. We were the "Craig Hall Crowd," because that was where the communications, media and drama classes were held.

The people I tend to hang with in college tended to wear tie dye shirts with peace signs on them or shirts that said "EAT THE RICH" on them. Some even had pink t-shirts with a photo of Howard McNear, the barber from the Andy Griffith Show on the front and the words "PINK FLOYD" on the back. Get it! Yeah, it was funnier in 1987. We tended to drive older model small cars with bumper stickers reading "He who dies with the most toys, STILL DIES" or "Wouldn't be nice if the schools had plenty of money and the Pentagon had to have a bake sale?"

Our dorm room walls were covered in posters of Jim Morrison, Ozzy Osbourne and James Dean, as well as numerous assorted scantly clad women. The only names I can think of for these women were Marilyn (The Seven Year Itch subway grate pose), Farah (These were usually kind of ragged because they had been around for several years), Brooke and Elvira (Yes, THAT Elvira - usually these were Budweiser promotional posters, so you wonder if these guys were more attracted to beer than the big breasted Goth chick). Oh, I cannot forget the Tennis Girl poster (above).

I should point out that there was a boom in psychedelic music and fashion. Part of this may have been because Rolling Stone was celebrating its 20th anniversary and running a lot of retrospective article on the Summer of Love and the 60s. However, as I look back, we may have been rebelling against the "Just Say No" crap that had been forced down our throats in junior high and high school.

There were some people that we didn't like. These people were what we called Preppies. These people were like the villains in a lot the comedy films of the time. While we were wanting to Bluto from Animal House, these people wanted to be Greg Marmalard and Douglas C. Neidemeyer from Animal House. These people took things way too seriously. They were like the people we didn't like in junior high and high school. They were all involved in Young Republicans and came to class wearing ties. They were always business majors of some sort, only interested in money and kissing butt. They were overachievers, who felt Bart Simpson was a bad role model for children. Bad part I see many young college kids now who are exactly like the Preppie kids. Kind of sad when you think about it.

Someone at the Standard gave one of these boneheads a column. I can remember his last name was Seitz, because I thought he was full of baloney. He spread hate toward anyone who didn't think like him and his tie wearing Preppie friends. He probably is either a talk radio host or a weenie blogger. They went to little meetings on Monday night where they listened to speeches by Mel Hancock and Jean Dixon. Needless to say these people were not out having fun like the rest of us.


I guess what has brought this on is the fact I keep running into or seeing the Preppies around Springfield, but the people I liked are nowhere to be seen. Maybe they went back to St. Louis, Kansas City and Chicago. At least one person, went to Hollywood. I see her on TV from time to time. I guess the Preppies were from here in Springfield. I hope my friends are still they way they were when we were in school. After all the Preppies are all still the obnoxious little twerps they were when we were in school.

Of course, opinions like this are why I'm the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

SOMETHING FUNNY ABOUT THESE "MARRIED" SPRINGFIELD BOYS

This post will probably upset most of Springfield, but I feel this needs to be brought out into the open. Some of the other bloggers, such as Busplunge and Fat Jack, have brought this up in various post and it always produces a flurry of negative comments from those on the right (Usually that little punk named Jeremy). I don't allow comments, so I feel safe. I have noticed, while eating at a pizza buffett here in town, that there are a great number of attractive women married to upwardly mobile men who are closeted gay.

I know what you people are going to do. You will start saying I'm an evil person for suggesting this, but I'm observing this more and more in our community. You will see a whole group of families at a restaurant. The children will be eating and playing. The mothers will be swapping "mommy talk." While all of this going on, these lovely ladies' husbands are winking at each other, between yelling at the kids and talking about sports. Before anyone says it is my imagination, I want to point out that, at some point, one of these "family" men will say to another one (in a high feminine voice) "This chocolate chip pizza is to dddiiiieee for!"

They have all the trappings of being the kind of men that talk radio show host and News Leader letter writers think everyone should be. They drive an Escalade plastered with a McCain-Palin sticker and a "Support the Troops" magnet. They are wearing T-shirts with religious theme or a sports team logo on them. However, these guys act like their wives are a just a person who came along for the ride. No hugging, kissing or hand holding. She is just a kid wrangler.

I firmly believe there is a secret network of conservative groups and churches in this community that fix successful, gay Republican men up with attractive "beards" looking for a meal-ticket. They may have connections to some national groups.

I've noticed several ways to tell if a guy is one of these closeted-gay-conservative-family-guys-married-to-an-attractive-woman.

1. They call sports talk radio and whine about how people making fun of Tim Tebow.

2. They cry along with Glenn Beck.

3. They can't get their Blue-Ray DVD of Avatar to work in their DVD player and blame "liberals in Hollywood" for this.

4. They trash poetry books by MSU professors on their blog.

5. They are offended by Katy Perry’s "I Kissed a Girl."

6. They won't bring their wife's fudge to the office cookie swap at Christmas because they fear being labeled a "fudge packer."

7. They talk about how they think Sarah Palin is more attractive than Paris Hilton. They also think Dr. Laura is more attractive than Kim Kardashian.

8. They have a phobia about pink toothbrushes.

9. They tell people their occupation is a venture capitalist.

10. They have referred to Scott Brown as a "hottie."

Personally, I think someone should just let these guys be gay. These attractive women could be better suited with a guy like me. It looks like someone could find me an attractive wife. I may not be a Republican, from a well-to-do family or have a successful business, but I AM HETEROSEXUAL.

Of course, opinions like these are why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I REMEMBER YOU FROM SCHOOL - YOU WERE A PAIN THEN TOO

This is a response to a post on a weenie blog a few weeks ago. It was a slam to people of my political persuasion. This person tried to explain that her political ideology was better than mine. The more I read the more I realized not only why I’m proud to be a liberal, but who most of the conservative people my age are. I have also noticed this by the people who have friended me on Facebook from high school.

Conservatives are those people we didn’t like in junior high and high school. You know the ones I’m talking about. They were not necessarily the popular kids. They were the ones who wanted to be more popular than the popular kids.

Granted, I wanted to be the most popular kid in school but on my own merits such as my hip and cool taste in music, movies, humor and looks (Okay the last one was a stretch). These people were obsessed with grades and achieving notoriety.

There is nothing wrong with excelling, but these people rubbed it in your face that they had better grades than you, that they were the president of a club or on a sports team. However, if someone achieved more than these people, they had their parents go to the teacher, then to principal, then to school board and get some changes made. Usually, a good teacher or coach lost their job, because they did some good like give everyone an “A” or allow a lowly student like myself to be in the spotlight rather than the ‘over-achiever’ or allowed wimpy me play on their team in P.E.

Also these people were the ones who made fun of you to your face. However, if you have a good come back for them, it became “major incident.” Daddy & Mommy would go to the Principal and we would be forced to apologize along with spending time in detention (Speaking of which, if you still can't grasp the kind of people I'm talking about, think of the characters played by Molly Rigwald and Emilio Estivez in The Breakfast Club).

These people usually quit college and said it was because “The professors were liberal.” Actually it was a combination of daddy & mommy weren’t around to fight their battles and partying. See, in junior high/high school these people were always president of S.A.D.D or Teen Action or some other self-righteous, preachy group. They lectured me on how my love of heavy metal, punk and 60s psychedelic music would lead me to drug abuse. Then it turns out these people drank themselves out of SMSU or Mizzou or Drury Or Evangel.

These days those people tell you how much they make, how much their house is worth, how many well-disciplined kids they have and how many vehicles they have. THEY DON’T REALIZE WE STILL DON’T CARE! I have over 3000 CDs and about 200 DVDs. I would like a wife and kids, but the hours I work I wouldn’t have time to spend with her.

I also get paid very little, have lousy health insurance and the industry I work in has been taken over by large money-grubbing corporations that are only interested in making stars out of right-wing scumbags.

Yes, I believe in equality, but you people never did. You are still only interested in one thing...yourself. That is why I never liked you people in school. That is why I was and still am considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

BTW, if the former governor of Alaska wants to complain about me using her photo in this post on her Facebook page...I’ll sue her butt off!

THE OZARKS HAS A SPANKING FETISH

This post has been coming for a long time, but some things I noticed this week have brought this subject to my attention again. The Ozarks has a sick and twisted love of spanking.

Last summer, I was in a fast food place eating here in Springfield. At the table next to mine was about three couples, who were around my age. These were the people who were big into screaming "rules" at their kids like a Marine Corp D.I. "Don't run! Don't touch! Don't make noise! Don't breath!"

These people were talking rather loud, so everyone in the place could hear them, on how they "enjoyed" being spanked by their parents. These people were loudly letting the people in this fast food joint (and probably most of Springfield) that they against "time outs." This woman began breathing heavy while telling about how she enjoyed it. This one guy said "he liked the smell of his father's belt." He then became very giddy as he began telling about how many "lashes" he would get and his eyes began rolling back in his head. I left because I was afraid he was going to ejaculate on me and all the other people in the place.

• I'm seeing more and more of this kinky stupidity going on with in this community. Several people I know on Facebook joined a group called "My Parents Didn't Give Me Time Out."


• I stumbled upon a blog called "Chicks on the Right" by two women "who don't believe in time-outs." I think that is a veiled code for "we are professional dominatrixes."


• The MSU post-game show disintegrated into a Chuck Booms rant against parents that give their kid time outs. Chuck screamed into the microphone that he enjoyed being spanked. He thinks more parents need to spank their kids because he was spanked as a child. Why would anyone take parenting advice from this guy? He wears green shoelaces and talks about how much he likes Liza Minnelli.


• A few years ago, when Ron Davis was the host of Morning-line on KWTO was when the Domminc James death occured. Many of the idiots who called in to argue with Ron said the "gubermunt ain't got no rite to tayl me I kain't spank my kids." Ron didn't say that spanking should be banned. On the other hand, I DO THINK SPANKING YOUR KIDS SHOULD BE A CRIMINAL OFFENCE!

Let me explain why? My parents didn't spank me because a I was a pretty good kid. If my father or mother raised their voice at me, I broke down in tears. However, I went to a Republican/Sourthern Baptist run gulauge called Mark Twain Elementary in Lebanon, MO. The principal was Betty Chisim Moore, who walked the halls with an inch thick paddle. She also had an inch thick growth of hair on her legs. She looked like a refridgerator with legs and a face like those old women in the Far Side cartoons. The school had a lot of silly type rules like that could accidentally be broken by nice little kids like me. This was so she could have the pleasure of giving at least 50 spankings a day.

I'm sure though Betty Chisim Moore is in Hell giving topless lap dances to guys like Attila the Hun, Cauigula, Hitler and Richard Nixon. If you knew what Mrs. Moore looked like, this image would be enough to make you become a perfect Christian and avoid Hell at all cost.

This woman spanked me once. SHE WAS IN THE WRONG TO PUNISH DESDINOVA! I WAS SMARTER THAN HER AND ALL THE ADULTS IN LEBANON.

But I think this sick and twisted fetish these Ozarkers have with spanking needs to stop folks. Your kids will turn up warped like Chuck Booms instead of cool like me. Of course, opinions like this are why I'm the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I HATE TROLLS!

I hate Internet trolls. Whether they are creeping around on message boards or posting comments on blogs, I don't like them! That is one reason I stopped allowing comments at all. They don't really contribute to the conversation.

There seems to be a glut of trolls in our area. There were some rather amusing ones who posted over on Busplunge's blog. Art Morris' Missouri Radio Message Board has been attacked by two creeps known as TommyT and AMMan. They may be either Mr. Mike, who was kicked off of the board last year, or the old Missouri Radio Message Board bully Talk Radio Guy. All I can say is both of these trolls butcher the English language as bad as the webmaster at the KSGF website. HHHMMMMM!

Worst post by a troll this week was on Ron Davis' Chatter, where a self-proclaimed conservative businessman said "Liberals should be aborted." Not a very classy person, if you asked me.

I'm also heard from several former and current News Leader employees, who are critical of the comments on the News Leader website. They point out the double-standard that the News Leader requires a name and a phone number for a letter to the editor, but people can hide behind fake names on the comments section. Also, remember all the editorials a few years back about anonymous blogging (I thought those were about me, but it was actually another blog - probably that Weenie-Blog run by a guy named Scooter).

Point is, I DON'T LIKE TROLLS AND I'M KEEPING THEM OFF MY BLOG!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I WANT TO BE IN CHARGE OF THE DEATH PANEL

I have heard talk from the talk radio scum and weenie-bloggers that the President's health care plan includes something called a "DEATH PANEL." I like this concept and would like to volunteer my services to be DEATH MASTER GENERAL (Kind of like Post Master General).

I already have been thinking of some people that I would do-away with first in an effort to bring down the cost of health care and make the United States a much more livable place.

• People who refer to the President's health care plan as Obama-care.
• The host of most Fox News shows (I think Bill O'Rielly, Sean Hannity and Glen Beck could be used for strange medical experiments).
• People who think that the parking lot of Chilli's and Entertain Mart in Springfield is a street.
• Women who play the "Chicken Fried" by Zac Brown Band on the juke box at Buffalo Wild Wings.
• All right-wing talk radio show host, Tea-Baggers and Birthers.
• High paid CEO's (especially in the radio industry)
• Guys who call Jock 98.7 to complain about the Illusion's Gentleman's Club commercials with Chuck Booms.
• Anyone who uses the word "socialist" or "socialism" as an insult.
• People who use Bluetooth.
• People on Facebook who want you to sign a petition against a national holiday for Michael Jackson.
• Guys who like Sarah Palin more than Paris Hilton.

Don't worry, I'll think of more. I think that a Death Panel could be a good idea, but of course, opinions like these are what make me the SUPER-VILLAIN OF THE OZARKS!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

LET'S MAKE WEENIE-BLOGGERS CRY!

In honor of that Great American David Letterman, I've come up with a Top 10 of things to say to Weenie-Bloggers to make them cry.

• 10. I saw the photos of your kids on your blog. Good God, they're ugly!
• 9. How much do you pay the Kansas City Star to link to your blog?
• 8. Did you hear that KSGF is changing its format to "chick flick music?"
• 7. I think the News Leader should have covered Pride Fest more than those dumb tea-parties your friends have.
• 6. I wondered why you think Sarah Palin is better than Paris Hilton until I saw your wife. Yyyeeeccchhhh! You have NO TASTE IN WOMEN!
• 5. Anybody tell you how much you look like Jeff Dunham's Walter dummy?
  
• 4. I'm glad your name is on your blog. It will be easier to turn you over to the Highway Patrol Fusion Center.
• 3. I got my first "Thank You Blogger" check from the President. Oh yeah, you don't get one because you supported the old white guy.
• 2. Did you know John Wayne and Ronald Reagan were gay lovers?
• 1. I'm positive - David Catanese could kick you butt.