THE REASON A NATIONAL ANTI-BULLYING LAW NEEDS REPARATIONS FOR VICTIMS

As you know from reading this blog, I believe we need a national law to deal with the bullying problem. In November, I wrote a post about how I feel that there needs to be a strict federal anti-bullying law. This law should also require the bully and his/her family to pay reparations to the victim.

Some people would say, "Desdinova, why would you believe such a thing is necessary?" My reason has a name: Donny Dickweed (pictured above).

Donny was both a jock and a preppy. His grandfather was the president of the local bank and his family owned a company that made recliners and mattresses. Donny picked on both me and my "good twin brother." As a matter of fact, Donny Dickweed is one of the models for the bad guy, Johnny Waldorf, in my "good twin brother's" novel, Real George.

What is Donny Dickweed doing today? I saw his profile on Facebook and he lives in a large beach house in Florida with a hot wife. He is in real estate and is (of course) a Republican. Meanwhile, I live in a small apartment and make minimum wage, even though I have two college degrees and work in the mass media.

I feel every time somebody buys a recline or mattress, I and my "good twin brother" should get at least 75-percent of the profit to make up for all the "heart-checks," "pink bellies" and "Does-this-hurt?" sessions we were forced to endure from this guy. I also want to note that he didn't just pick on me and my "good twin brother" but other students both male and female. I once saw him choke a female student until she nearly passed out. He also called Eunice Moneymaker "zit face" until she cried.

There were very few teachers and administrators who would stand up to this jerk, because his family were very prominant in the community. His grandfather has a monument to dedicated to him or something like that. Donny was allowed to get away with this sort of behavior because of his family's money and power.

If you are wondering, neither I nor my "good twin brother" are friends with Donny Dickweed on Facebook. Eunice Moneymaker is but, as I have pointed out before, Eunice didn't have good taste in men or she would have went steady with me.

The fact is one never forgets the scars left by a bully, however if the bully and his family had to pony up some dough to the victim (75 percent of every recliner and mattress sold), the pain might hurt less.

I DON'T LIKE GUYS WHO WEAR SUITS

I don't like guys who wear suits. They are usually preppy douche bags, who have a fetish-like obsession with money.

Case in point: two guys who I had to deal with at work today. They were Republicans (naturally) and they were wearing matching suits. I just kept think to myself, "What did these two dimwits do to screw up their lives to make themselves so uncool?" and also "Why is everyone here at work acting like these guys are cooler than me? These guys are dorks who wear suits!!!" The sad part is these geeks make more money than me.

An opinion, like this one, is why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!!

VOID IN MISSOURI

The passing of Proposition C proves what I have thought ever since I was a small boy: Missouri is an awful place to live because it is filled with stupid people (pictured above).

Proposition C is just another chapter in the long and idiotic history of Missouri trying to keep any "evil" outside influence from crossing out state line.

I first became aware of this asinine practice of Missouri lawmakers when I was a child. You would see the words VOID IN MISSOURI in fine print. This meant that some stupid adult in Jefferson City was going to keep you from getting a neat prize or having any fun. You would see and ad in a comic book for a cool contest or offer for something you couldn't get at Wal-mart or Mattinglys 5 & 10, but at the bottom of the ad was the dreaded VOID IN MISSOURI.

"Win a Trip to Disney World" VOID IN MISSOURI!

"Win a Pool Party with Charlie's Angels" VOID IN MISSOURI!

"Win the Chance to Go On Tour with Kiss!" VOID IN MISSOURI!

"Win a Visit from Mork from Ork to Your School!" VOID IN MISSOURI!

"Win Every Marvel Comic Book Ever Published" VOID IN MISSOURI!

"Win Your Own Private McDonalds" VOID IN MISSOURI!

It wasn't only contest. There were even things for sale that were VOID IN MISSOURI! I remember having to give my sister's address in Oklahoma, just to order a Star Wars t-shirt. Apparently some nitwit in Jefferson City felt threatened by a skinny eight year old in Lebanon wearing a t-shirt with R2D2 and C3PO. A dollar to donuts says that the idiot that came up with the VOID IN MISSOURI law was elected by voters in Greene and Christian County (pictured above).

Much of this garbage comes from a group of privileged individuals who can control what rules are made from the State of Missouri down to the local school board. They make rules that punish people like me. Since they have the money and power, they want all the good stuff to be available to people with money and power. In Missouri, and the Ozarks especially, you only get to do something if your family is Republican or your family is Southern Baptist. They also like to require you to have good grades in elementary or high school (Good grades in college don't count - this called the Rush Limbaugh clause).

So now the idiotic voters in Missouri are going to keep the President's health care plan out of the hands of Missouri residents. It is like I'm eight years old all over again. Not only do I not have enough health insurance, but I also haven't met Mork, Kiss, Charlie's Angels nor do I own every Marvel comic book or a McDonalds. I hope all the stupid conservative hillbillies who voted "yes" on Proposition C get a major disease! (The people who voted "yes" on Proposition C are pictured above)

Of course, opinions, like these, are why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

IDEA FOR A DESDINOVA NOVEL

I've noticed some of the other bloggers on SGF Blogs have published original fiction on their blog sites. I'm considering trying this. I thought it would be interesting to write a series of comical/satiric novels about myself - Desdinova the Super Villain of the Ozarks.

There have been very few super villains who have been the main character in a series of novels. The only ones I can think of are Sax Rohmer's Fu Manchu and Thomas Harris' Hannibal Lecter. In each novel, Desdinova would commit a crime that would horrify the Ozarks, but would probably not be taken seriously in California, New York or even Oklahoma. The local authorities would be so incompetent that they would be unable to stop Desdinova.

The plot of the first novel would be similar to John Wyndham's The Midwich Cuckoos, which has been filmed twice under the title the Village of the Damned. The plot is also based on the old joke about "something in the water."

Desdinova develops a technique called "covert hydro fertilization." He uses this technique to impregnate women attending a convention for Republican women through complimentary bottled water given to those attending. The women are not only shocked that they are pregnant (since Republicans don't have sex) but their pregnancies only last three weeks.

Once the children are born, they begin to grow and mature rapidly. The boys, who all look like the cute little boy pictured above, have a maniacal laugh (Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!). They do horrible things to embarrass their parents in front of their rich friends. Slowly they begin to try and bump off their parents. That is when it is discovered that they are under the power of Desdinova and their goal is world domination! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Just an idea so far.

WHY DON'T YOU SAY THAT IN YOUR COMMERCIALS?

I've been planing to sound off on what I thought of the Republican candidates for the 7th district congressional seat. I've heard what they have had to say, on the Turner Report, the KY3 Political blog and those stupid commercials, and I question most of these individuals sanity. I especially don't like this sovereignty kick they are on. I know what Missouri would be like if the Supreme Court or White House couldn't overthrow the dumb ideas created by some of the people we sent to Jeff City.

With that said, I was in an awkward position today. One of the candidates was in my place of work (NO, not my secret underground laboratory beneath the Springfield's Park Central Square). He was appearing on one of the radio stations in the cluster and he needed some production work done. I was asked to help before he went on the air. As usual, I had to be on-air in a few moments and record two segments that were to run immediately.

This guy wasn't like most of the Republicans I've dealt with in my career or my life. He was incredibly polite and patient. He understood why I wasn't giving him immediate attention. I called on of my supervisor, who said he would be back to the radio station in a few moments. He said he could help this person. I should note this production involved a political ad and LOTS OF MONEY. I was not wanting to be responsible if I messed it up. Since neither I or the candidate had the time for the production, I told him that my supervisor would be back and could help him after his interview. He said that was fine with him.

I made the joke, "You might not want to work with me. I side with the opposing party." He just laughed and said, "Nothing wrong with that. There are some good and honest people who are Democrats. We just don't agree on issues."

THEN SAY IN YOUR COMMERCIALS THAT THERE ARE SOME GOOD AND HONEST DEMOCRATS! DON'T DEMONIZE US AS DESTROYING THE COUNTRY LIKE THE OTHER REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES!

If I see an commercial from this guy saying this, I'll have more respect for him than the other 7th District Congressional candidates. I still won't vote for the guy, but I'll have more respect for him.

Of course, an opinion, like the one above, is why I'm considered the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I MISS THE CRAIG HALL CROWD & I STILL HATE THE PREPPIES

Permit me to wax nostalgic for a bit, but this post has been coming for awhile and it is something I have to get out of my system. I've been thinking about my college years, when I was obtaining my Bachelor of Science in Media. I was just out of high school, away from home and I didn't have a job, so I was able to enjoy myself and have fun.

I found it was easier to make friends with people at SMSU (now known as MSU) than it was in the Lebanon R-3. For one thing, the need to conform to what everyone else was doing disappears in college. Also, I seem to have more in common with the city kids. We tended to like the same music, movies and other activities. We were the "Craig Hall Crowd," because that was where the communications, media and drama classes were held.

The people I tend to hang with in college tended to wear tie dye shirts with peace signs on them or shirts that said "EAT THE RICH" on them. Some even had pink t-shirts with a photo of Howard McNear, the barber from the Andy Griffith Show on the front and the words "PINK FLOYD" on the back. Get it! Yeah, it was funnier in 1987. We tended to drive older model small cars with bumper stickers reading "He who dies with the most toys, STILL DIES" or "Wouldn't be nice if the schools had plenty of money and the Pentagon had to have a bake sale?"

Our dorm room walls were covered in posters of Jim Morrison, Ozzy Osbourne and James Dean, as well as numerous assorted scantly clad women. The only names I can think of for these women were Marilyn (The Seven Year Itch subway grate pose), Farah (These were usually kind of ragged because they had been around for several years), Brooke and Elvira (Yes, THAT Elvira - usually these were Budweiser promotional posters, so you wonder if these guys were more attracted to beer than the big breasted Goth chick). Oh, I cannot forget the Tennis Girl poster (above).

I should point out that there was a boom in psychedelic music and fashion. Part of this may have been because Rolling Stone was celebrating its 20th anniversary and running a lot of retrospective article on the Summer of Love and the 60s. However, as I look back, we may have been rebelling against the "Just Say No" crap that had been forced down our throats in junior high and high school.

There were some people that we didn't like. These people were what we called Preppies. These people were like the villains in a lot the comedy films of the time. While we were wanting to Bluto from Animal House, these people wanted to be Greg Marmalard and Douglas C. Neidemeyer from Animal House. These people took things way too seriously. They were like the people we didn't like in junior high and high school. They were all involved in Young Republicans and came to class wearing ties. They were always business majors of some sort, only interested in money and kissing butt. They were overachievers, who felt Bart Simpson was a bad role model for children. Bad part I see many young college kids now who are exactly like the Preppie kids. Kind of sad when you think about it.

Someone at the Standard gave one of these boneheads a column. I can remember his last name was Seitz, because I thought he was full of baloney. He spread hate toward anyone who didn't think like him and his tie wearing Preppie friends. He probably is either a talk radio host or a weenie blogger. They went to little meetings on Monday night where they listened to speeches by Mel Hancock and Jean Dixon. Needless to say these people were not out having fun like the rest of us.


I guess what has brought this on is the fact I keep running into or seeing the Preppies around Springfield, but the people I liked are nowhere to be seen. Maybe they went back to St. Louis, Kansas City and Chicago. At least one person, went to Hollywood. I see her on TV from time to time. I guess the Preppies were from here in Springfield. I hope my friends are still they way they were when we were in school. After all the Preppies are all still the obnoxious little twerps they were when we were in school.

Of course, opinions like this are why I'm the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

BEING IN THE MEDIA USED TO MEAN SOMETHING

I've been thinking back to my college days lately. From the moment I entered Missouri State University (then Southwest Missouri State University) in the fall of 1987, I knew what I wanted to major in and what field I want to pursue: media. I felt I could do work in any media field: radio, TV or newspaper. At that time there was no such creature as "the Internet."

After working for over twenty years in all three forms of media, I feel that being a member of the media is being rendered meaningless by corporate greed and their need to pander to those who hate the media.

For instance, at least two of the major corporate radio chains have cut the jobs of local talent and replaced them with inexperienced, untrained, uneducated part-timers, who are simply there to make sure the automation runs a feed from another city. This has already caused some embarrassment for one company during a recent tornado.

The talk radio industry enjoys hiring people who are outside broadcasting or journalism to host shows. A big trend is to hire out-of-work politicians, political consultants or business people to be "the voice of reason." Many of the talk radio host (some local host included) have their "callers" prearranged. These are friends reading from scripts or are political consultants masquerading as "regular people." (How many regular people do you know named "Jack-Jack") Local some of the talk radio shows have very little screening or gate keeping. Part of this is due to time constraints of the "open forum" nature of the show, but also because Bubba Earl Thorndike from Dry Knobb or Betty June Nosbey from Koshginong gets upset if they don't get on the air to give their opinion.

Locally, the News Leader has let go of several well-known, respected and talented journalist in favor of giving a column to people like this redneck idiot.

Websites for local TV stations and newspapers have "comment sections" which allow Bubba Earl and Betty June to slam a story if they don't like it and overrule what ever KOLR's Joy Robertson or KYTV's Ethan Forhetz said. "That'll learn dem thar media folks a lessin."

And don't get me started on the "stars" created by reality TV!

RBR/TVBR reports that a Republican lawmaker in Michigan wants journalist to be licensed by the state. Bad part, I agree with a little of this. A law requiring a journalist to get a license is wrong (especially when you read the provisions), however, holding corporate media management responsible for hiring skilled, educated journalist rather than amateur hacks that "represent the average citizen" when most of these people sound like Klan members.

What in the long run cost less? The salary of a good journalist/media person or a lawsuit after Bubba and Betty slandered someone or didn't air a tornado warning.

I guess what bothers me is the fact that I got into the media to be a "voice" people listened to and trusted. Every place I have worked has forced me into the background while making the amateur the "voice" that I should be. Supposedly, their opinions and interest are more important than mine. That is why I had to start this blog is because some people in the commercial media don't feel I represent the "typical Ozarks view" or my ideas "might upset" Ozarkers.

Of course, that is why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

BTW: Doesn't Paris Hilton make a cute reporter?

SOMETHING FUNNY ABOUT THESE "MARRIED" SPRINGFIELD BOYS

This post will probably upset most of Springfield, but I feel this needs to be brought out into the open. Some of the other bloggers, such as Busplunge and Fat Jack, have brought this up in various post and it always produces a flurry of negative comments from those on the right (Usually that little punk named Jeremy). I don't allow comments, so I feel safe. I have noticed, while eating at a pizza buffett here in town, that there are a great number of attractive women married to upwardly mobile men who are closeted gay.

I know what you people are going to do. You will start saying I'm an evil person for suggesting this, but I'm observing this more and more in our community. You will see a whole group of families at a restaurant. The children will be eating and playing. The mothers will be swapping "mommy talk." While all of this going on, these lovely ladies' husbands are winking at each other, between yelling at the kids and talking about sports. Before anyone says it is my imagination, I want to point out that, at some point, one of these "family" men will say to another one (in a high feminine voice) "This chocolate chip pizza is to dddiiiieee for!"

They have all the trappings of being the kind of men that talk radio show host and News Leader letter writers think everyone should be. They drive an Escalade plastered with a McCain-Palin sticker and a "Support the Troops" magnet. They are wearing T-shirts with religious theme or a sports team logo on them. However, these guys act like their wives are a just a person who came along for the ride. No hugging, kissing or hand holding. She is just a kid wrangler.

I firmly believe there is a secret network of conservative groups and churches in this community that fix successful, gay Republican men up with attractive "beards" looking for a meal-ticket. They may have connections to some national groups.

I've noticed several ways to tell if a guy is one of these closeted-gay-conservative-family-guys-married-to-an-attractive-woman.

1. They call sports talk radio and whine about how people making fun of Tim Tebow.

2. They cry along with Glenn Beck.

3. They can't get their Blue-Ray DVD of Avatar to work in their DVD player and blame "liberals in Hollywood" for this.

4. They trash poetry books by MSU professors on their blog.

5. They are offended by Katy Perry’s "I Kissed a Girl."

6. They won't bring their wife's fudge to the office cookie swap at Christmas because they fear being labeled a "fudge packer."

7. They talk about how they think Sarah Palin is more attractive than Paris Hilton. They also think Dr. Laura is more attractive than Kim Kardashian.

8. They have a phobia about pink toothbrushes.

9. They tell people their occupation is a venture capitalist.

10. They have referred to Scott Brown as a "hottie."

Personally, I think someone should just let these guys be gay. These attractive women could be better suited with a guy like me. It looks like someone could find me an attractive wife. I may not be a Republican, from a well-to-do family or have a successful business, but I AM HETEROSEXUAL.

Of course, opinions like these are why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I REMEMBER YOU FROM SCHOOL - YOU WERE A PAIN THEN TOO

This is a response to a post on a weenie blog a few weeks ago. It was a slam to people of my political persuasion. This person tried to explain that her political ideology was better than mine. The more I read the more I realized not only why I’m proud to be a liberal, but who most of the conservative people my age are. I have also noticed this by the people who have friended me on Facebook from high school.

Conservatives are those people we didn’t like in junior high and high school. You know the ones I’m talking about. They were not necessarily the popular kids. They were the ones who wanted to be more popular than the popular kids.

Granted, I wanted to be the most popular kid in school but on my own merits such as my hip and cool taste in music, movies, humor and looks (Okay the last one was a stretch). These people were obsessed with grades and achieving notoriety.

There is nothing wrong with excelling, but these people rubbed it in your face that they had better grades than you, that they were the president of a club or on a sports team. However, if someone achieved more than these people, they had their parents go to the teacher, then to principal, then to school board and get some changes made. Usually, a good teacher or coach lost their job, because they did some good like give everyone an “A” or allow a lowly student like myself to be in the spotlight rather than the ‘over-achiever’ or allowed wimpy me play on their team in P.E.

Also these people were the ones who made fun of you to your face. However, if you have a good come back for them, it became “major incident.” Daddy & Mommy would go to the Principal and we would be forced to apologize along with spending time in detention (Speaking of which, if you still can't grasp the kind of people I'm talking about, think of the characters played by Molly Rigwald and Emilio Estivez in The Breakfast Club).

These people usually quit college and said it was because “The professors were liberal.” Actually it was a combination of daddy & mommy weren’t around to fight their battles and partying. See, in junior high/high school these people were always president of S.A.D.D or Teen Action or some other self-righteous, preachy group. They lectured me on how my love of heavy metal, punk and 60s psychedelic music would lead me to drug abuse. Then it turns out these people drank themselves out of SMSU or Mizzou or Drury Or Evangel.

These days those people tell you how much they make, how much their house is worth, how many well-disciplined kids they have and how many vehicles they have. THEY DON’T REALIZE WE STILL DON’T CARE! I have over 3000 CDs and about 200 DVDs. I would like a wife and kids, but the hours I work I wouldn’t have time to spend with her.

I also get paid very little, have lousy health insurance and the industry I work in has been taken over by large money-grubbing corporations that are only interested in making stars out of right-wing scumbags.

Yes, I believe in equality, but you people never did. You are still only interested in one thing...yourself. That is why I never liked you people in school. That is why I was and still am considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

BTW, if the former governor of Alaska wants to complain about me using her photo in this post on her Facebook page...I’ll sue her butt off!

DOES FACEBOOK ONLY WANT RIGHT-WINGERS?

I finally decided to get a Facebook account even though I'm still not crazy about it. I believe some of my fears about it may be right - it is a nest of conservatives and people who didn't like me in high school. I ought to report these people to MIAC.

People are always wanting you to join some conservative cause which, of course, I'm not interested in. Plus there are these personality quizzes, which are usually harmless stuff like "Which Brady Bunch Character Are You" (I hope I'm Vincent Price living in a cave in Hawaii or the Guy Who Took Marcia's Virginity).

One of the quizzes is called The Political Meter. The questions are poorly written with bad multiple choice answers that seems to be slanted against anyone to the left of Rush Limbaugh. They are actually sound like some bad stereotype of a progressive thinker perpetuated on local radio but Chucky Booms or Vincent David Jericho.

I took this quiz and this was what it said: "Your trendy bleeding heart beliefs may need some work. Try watching the O'Reilly factor and listening to right wing programs to balance your bombardment of liberal media. You may learn something about the country and yourself. "

Excuse the living Hell out me! I WILL NOT CHANGE MY BELIEFS SO I CAN FIT IN WITH A BUNCH OF BORING PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK! I'LL GO BACK TO MYSPACE WHERE THE COOL PEOPLE ARE!

I think Facebook needs to stop some of this right-wing recruitment garbage and be more like MySpace, with loud music players on every page and photos of drunk girls. Opinions like these make me the SUPER VILLAIN OF THE OZARKS!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Why I don't like Mike Huckabee?

I’m going to say this. I realize many in the Ozarks will hate me. I DON’T LIKE MIKE HUCKABEE. It’s true I’m a Democrat, but my problem with Huckabee would stand in my way of voting for him if he was a Democrat. He is one of THOSE guys.

He is one of those guys that has followed me around all my life. He has been teachers, preachers, coaches and bosses, however, his real profession is "a nagger." He is the kind of guy that has nagged me all my life.

He would tell me that my grades were not good enough to participate in school activities. He would tell me I didn’t turn in my homework in time. He would tell me I couldn’t run fast enough. He would tell me the reason why girls didn’t like me (It was always "You pick girls that are too good looking for you" and "I not athletic enough"). He would tell me my shoe was untied. He would tell me my hair was out of place. He would tell me I read too many comic books. He would tell me I watched too many horror movies and Saturday morning cartoons. He would tell me I listened to satanic drug-addict music. He would tell you he also didn’t like Bob Dylan either.

He would tell you he doesn’t find David Letterman, George Carlin, Eddie Murphy or Steve Martin funny, but if someone punched me or tripped me, he would laugh at me. If I said something funny, he would chastise me with a "Do-you-think-that-is-funny-young man?"

He lectures me on the dangers of sex, drugs, alcohol and pop culture. He prides himself on being un-hip. He believes he is better than me, but then he slips up and does something wrong. Unfortunately, nobody allows me to point out that he did wrong because he is still well loved. He is a "good ole boy."

No, I don’t want Mike Huckabee to be president. Of course, Ozarker already love him.