Thinking About Saturday Morning Cartoons

When I was young, I loved to watch Saturday morning cartoons. Everyone my age did whether they would admit it or not. The three major networks caught flack from parents groups, educators and even some journalist about the cartoons. Eventually, the networks dropped cartoons and kids shows in favor of news programs for adults.

Many of the crank adults I was, unfortunately, around as a child didn't like the programs I watched on Saturday morning. These same adults are big fans of talk radio.

That gives me another radio to hope for a return of the Fairness Doctrine. You know what they say: PAYBACK IS A BITCH!

Why Does Radio Hate Halloween?

For some reason, you can not talk radio PD's into playing Halloween music on Halloween. You might hear "Monster Mash" played once on Halloween day. The announcer usually acts like he was just forced to were a clothespin on his penis. There was a lot of great fun music that can be played on Halloween, but radio stations refuse saying, "Our listeners wouldn't like that. They would be upset." SCREW YOUR MINI-VAN DRIVING UPPER-INCOME, WHITE REPUBLICAN LISTENERS AND HAVE SOME FUN FOR ONCE IN YOUR MISERABLE LIVES.

The same PD's who say that are the same ones who delight in bombarding us with every version of that depressing "I'll Be Home For Christmas" from Thanksgiving until New Years.

Another Christmas song I dislike is "No Place Like Home For The Holidays" in which a bunch of people tell the singer about their boring plans for the holiday. One stupid idiot says he is going out of state for a piece of pumpkin pie. Couldn't he find pumpkin pie at a local bakery? Maybe this pumpkin pie has got crack in it?

Now, radio stations have a new bad Christmas song to force on us. The horrible "Christmas Shoes." A child ask a stranger to buy a new pair of shoes for his dying mother. The kid says she needs new shoes because "she is meeting Jesus tonight." Like Jesus is going to say "Hey, Nice shoes!" If a kid gave me that cock-bull story I would say, "I'll buy you the shoes if a can see a death certificate and a corpse first." I have to have proof someone is dying before show sympathy.

Now, I DO love "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer" because like Rudolph, I was mistreated and ostracized by other children when I was younger. I'll get my revenge though. Mwu-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

It looks like someone would play "Dinner With Drac" by Zacherle, "Batman, Wolfman, Frankenstein and Dracula" by the Diamonds, "It's A Monster Holiday" by Buck Owens, "Bark At the Moon" by Ozzy Osbourne, "Don't Fear the Reaper" by BOC (Although, I'm awfully partial to "Astronomy" too) or "Creature With an Atom Brain" by Roky Erikson.

Alas, the radio industry continues to make stupid decisions that only serve a handful of local advertisers (banks, mega-churches, insurance companies) serviced by un-hip, white guys over 50 rather than YOU THE LISTENER. Why play Halloween oriented music when we can have our morning show host cause trouble at a city council meeting?

Lois Maxwell A.K.A Miss Moneypenny Obit

LONDON (AP) - The actress who played the original MissMoneypenny in 14 James Bond films has died. Lois Maxwell's first Bond film was "Dr. No" in 1962: the first in the series. Herfinal Bond movie was "A View to A Kill" in 1985. The BBC says Maxwell died Saturday in a hospital near her home in Perth,Australia. Roger Moore, who played Bond in several of the films and was a long-time friend, says she had cancer. She was 80.

She also performed some voiceover work for Gary and Sylvia Anderson's Supermaration shows (however, she was not Lady Penelope).

NOTE!!!!!!!!

I had to temporarily disable the comments. I think I caught person who was leaving "threats." He left his e-mail address.

Also I want to apologize to Britney Spears. You're not chubby. There is anything wrong with being chubby either.

Remembering Ed Sisson

Other duties have occupied my time recently, but I wanted to mention the passing of Edward J. Sisson. I first knew of Ed Sisson through the radio. He was on KJEL AM/FM in Lebanon when they played good music (ROCK AND ROLL!). He was part of the laid back school of radio guys of the 70's, much like the character Bill Murray played on the National Lampoon's Good Bye Pop LP. Ed, both on-air and off, was usually joking. Whether he was laughing about the teenage boys who dedicated Henry Gross' Shannon to the girlfriends ("That song is a dog that drowns," Ed laughed. "Real romantic.") to the credits on Hawaii 5-0 ("Kam Fong is Chin Ho.") or referring to a former co-worker at KJEL (later KY3 anchor woman) as "Big Ass Joyce." He wasn't a Clear Channel liner card reader nor was he a bigoted, belligerent talk radio blowhard.

I worked with Ed at the Lebanon Daily Record. He was very supportive and gave good advice, as opposed to the hateful yelling most people have given me over the years. He also just liked to talk. As the LDR's Israel Potoczny wrote in a tribute to him, "Ed and I hit it off right away. We shared a passion in a wide range of things, from former journalists such as Hunter S. Thompson, to sports, music and politics. He was a wealth of information and experience that I am sure I only began to tap into."

One of Ed's passions was music. He often wrote about the rock and roll room in his columns and his love of the Beatles. Ed's sign off on KJEL was to thank his mother and father for having him and "God Bless Billy Martin." God Bless, Ed Sisson too.

Don't Worry Britney - I Still Respect You

I'm not sure why everyone is trashing Britney Spears. I like to see chubby girls in hot pants and fishnet hose dance on TV. This use to be a staple of the Colgate Comedy Hour during Martin and Lewis's tenure. At least she has never done anything really stupid like host a talk radio show on KSGF.

Then there is her fan on You Tube, Chris Crocker. Someone sign this boy up for a radio show or a video music show or something. This kid needs to be promoted and needs to be BIG! Screw Hanity, Rush and the other idiots - THIS IS WHO AMERICA NEEDS TO BE LISTENING TO!

Big Whoop!

The Arbitrons come out today. I'm not interested in them. Reason:

1. They're not as accurate as the Hooper Raitings.
2. They're fattening.
3. They're against my religion.
4. They don't impress chicks as much as the size of your transmitter (If you know what I mean).
5. I think they're rigged.