I HATE TROLLS!

I hate Internet trolls. Whether they are creeping around on message boards or posting comments on blogs, I don't like them! That is one reason I stopped allowing comments at all. They don't really contribute to the conversation.

There seems to be a glut of trolls in our area. There were some rather amusing ones who posted over on Busplunge's blog. Art Morris' Missouri Radio Message Board has been attacked by two creeps known as TommyT and AMMan. They may be either Mr. Mike, who was kicked off of the board last year, or the old Missouri Radio Message Board bully Talk Radio Guy. All I can say is both of these trolls butcher the English language as bad as the webmaster at the KSGF website. HHHMMMMM!

Worst post by a troll this week was on Ron Davis' Chatter, where a self-proclaimed conservative businessman said "Liberals should be aborted." Not a very classy person, if you asked me.

I'm also heard from several former and current News Leader employees, who are critical of the comments on the News Leader website. They point out the double-standard that the News Leader requires a name and a phone number for a letter to the editor, but people can hide behind fake names on the comments section. Also, remember all the editorials a few years back about anonymous blogging (I thought those were about me, but it was actually another blog - probably that Weenie-Blog run by a guy named Scooter).

Point is, I DON'T LIKE TROLLS AND I'M KEEPING THEM OFF MY BLOG!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Desdinova's New Years Resolutions for 2009

My New Years Resolutions for 2009 include:

1. Post something on this blog that will cause both KSGF's Vincent David Jericho and KWTO's Chuck Booms to explode simultaneously.


2. Have some bonehead write a letter to the News Leader about me.


3. Marry Paris Hilton.


4. Change one of the local country or talk stations into a hot Top 40 station.


5. Take over the world. Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHA!
   
   

Hey, Let's Get Pregnant!

I really thought we were past this kind of stupidity, however adults never seem to understand teenagers. Officials in Gloucester, Massachusetts, say that a group of teenage girls made a pact to get pregnant. The mayor, an anti-teen sex activist and a certain local talk radio show host (who came from Canada) is blaming Hollywood. Here is the AP story from Yahoo. First, Britney Spear’s little sister got pregnant, then there is that movie Juno (Right here I want to mention that I am madly in love with Juno screenwriter Diablo Cody, who is on the cover of this month’s Writer’s Digest) about a pregnant teenager. IT IS ALL PART OF A PLOT!

Let me tell you what I know from my thirty-some years on this planet. Gloucester is a small town. This happens in small towns every year. It happened my senior year at Lebanon High School and about ten year ago People magazine had a cover story about a small town in Texas where about half the girls in school were pregnant. It happens all the time. Someone claims the girls were "giving Hi-Fives." I went to school in a small town and you always hear an eyewitness account from "Some kid." They are always unreliable.

Second, doesn’t the mayor have better things to do than worry about who is pregnant. That must really be a SMALL AND BORING TOWN. As for the activist mentioned at the end of the AP story, I want to ask one of these abstinence activist why they all look like the snooty girls in high school who only dated the jocks. It is like they say, "I’m not going to sleep with you and I’m going to make the other girls sign a pledge not to sleep with you. Naner, naner, nya nya!"

Kids, take some advice from Uncle Desdinova. If this is what you girls want to for fun, well then knock yourselves out up.

Crazy Jane and her Toothless Anti-Bullying Law

We have mentioned State Rep. Jane Cunningham in the past and her lip service to anti-bullying legislation. Recently, Rep. Cunningham received an endorsement from former Governor/Attorney General John Ashcroft. Monday she was on the KSGF morning show bragging about her so-called anti-bullying legislation. Vincent David John Jacob Jingle Himerschmit Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla (who found a kangaroo) Shimmy Shimmy Ko-ko Bop Ramma Lama Ding Dong Do Wah Diddy Diddy Da Do Ron Ron Ron Da Do Ron Ron Gidyup Ooomp Pompa Oooomp Pompa Mow Mow Hiyo Silver Away Banana Fanna Fo Fanna De Doo Doo Doo De Da Da Da (That's all I want to say to you) Gabba Gabba Hey Gabba Hey (Now you're one of us) two all-beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onion on a sesame seed bun, Itsy Bittsy Tiny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Joiner-Kersee Sammy Davis Junior Jericho kissed every inch of her butt while trashing local State Rep. Sara Lampe’s work on the bill.
Cunningham basically that she doesn’t want sexual orientation on the bullying legislation because it would give special treatment to "certain groups." She claimed that Rep. Lampe’s version of the bill would "punish" a person for telling another student (her words) "I don’t like your lifestyle." CUNNINGHAM WANTS TO PROTECT THE BULLIES FROM PUNISHMENT.
Cunningham was probably never bullied in school like I was, so she probably doesn’t know what goes on. I will allow her that. Bullies will use any excuse to get out of trouble. The favorite lie a bully tells is "I was only joking" or "We are just having fun." I’m sure some bully will probably use "I criticizing their lifestyle." I’m not gay and I wasn’t gay in school, however, I was bullied over my clothes, my choice of music and my choice of girls to be interested in (Rod Hance proved, my choice of women STILL upsets some people in Lebanon).
Cunningham is trying to make this a toothless, ineffective law where nobody would be punished. The way Cunningham wants it, the bully can turn tables on the victim. It will be the same thing that we have seen from the right-wing talk show host for the past few year, "You can’t condemn me for hating (insert a minority group here), because you hate me because I’m conservative." The argument about who is bullying who will go back and forth and the school won’t know who to punish. Cunningham’s anti-bullying law will allow the bullies to get off scot-free and be back in class causing trouble.
The basic point made over and over in the interview was "sexual orientation" should not be in mentioned in the anti-bullying law. I SAY IT SHOULD FOR THIS REASON: ALL BULLYING IN JUNIOR HIGH AND HIGH SCHOOL IS BASED ON DISCRIMINATION AGAINST GAYS EVEN IF THE VICTIM IS HETEROSEXUAL. Junior high and high school bullies get a kick out of calling their victims names like "fag," "queer," or "homo." If sexual orientation is mentioned, then these bullies can be punished. Cunningham would allow them to explain their actions as "a religious intervention."
Here is something that I feel both Lampe and Cunningham should put into an anti-bulling law: if a student has more than three bullying complaints against them, the parents have to be punished too. I’ve learned that bullies learn there hatred for others at home. Any bullying law needs to punish the parents as well as the kid.
From the tone of her discussion on KSGF, Cunningham is not sincere about stopping bullying. Usually it is old white guys who cloud the issue on bullying because, they were bullies themselves in their school days. My theory is Rep. Cunningham was the girl who was sweet on the bully boys.

Day of Silence: Remembering the Cute Teacher and the Crazy Preacher at LHS in the 80s

The Lebanon Daily Record forums have been abuzz with talk about the Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network Day of Silence being observed at Lebanon High School. It is a volunteer observation. Students are not forced into observing (personally I thing they should be or face expulsion - but that is me).

The fuss over this reminded me of what happened at LHS in 1986 (maybe 1985).

It involved the young lady pictured above. I won't give her name. It isn't important to the story. She was a teacher. I never had her for class. Too bad, she was HOT! I wish I could have been one of those kids who had sex with a teacher. I'd pick her.

The country was talking about A.I.D.S. Homophobia was rampant among teenage boys. It gave them a certain amount of masculine reinforcement. LHS had (probably still does) quite a few rednecks and jocks. They liked to call those they didn't like "faggot" or "queer."

This young teacher got tired of the some of the guys calling other students these derogatory terms for gay people. She had enough of this and told them her brother was gay. She said she would bring him in an introduce him to show that he was a "real human being."

She took this to the principal, who told her no because he was afraid of possible violence toward her and he brother. That should have been the end of it.

Not long after, a local preacher, who was a known trouble maker, shows up asking why the school was going to allow gay men to "make love in front of the students." Some way this had become a crazy rumor spread around the school. I might add the preacher had NO children in the school and was known to cause trouble with the school over silly rumors. He claimed once that there was an arcade in Lebanon where teenagers were dancing naked and drinking. Needless to say it closed soon after. Worst of all, this preacher had a radio show on KLWT every morning. He bashed everyone from Ozzy Osbourne to Jane Fonda, who he called a "harlot." If I had been running KLWT, I WOULD HAVE TAKEN HIM OFF THE AIR. Unfortunately, I was a junior in high school at the time (Sadly, I have a degree in media from MSU and I'm still not allowed to make programming decisions in radio).

The teacher left Lebanon after just one year, but the preacher had to leave town too. He was caught having an affair with another woman. He now lives in Springfield. He writes bad Letters to the Editor in the News Leader and has been heard on one of the local talk radio shows (Guess who?). He is also involved with local politics (Republican, of course).

Just a little story I thought I'd share.

I Had Fun

My weird schedule has only allowed me to attend the Springfield blogger events. I made it a point to attend the send off for Tony Messenger of the News Leader. I had fun in the short time I was there (I had to be at work, as usual). It is always fun to talk with the people in the industry who cover the news and deal with the craziness of the business.

Tony was forthcoming about the behind the page world of the News Leader. It is always interesting to learn you don't work at the only crazy place in the business.

I found out that Tony still has the Pez Dispenser I sent him. I also found out I was apparently not the target of the editorials on anonymous blogging. After all, he was glad to meet me. I was a decent person and shook hands with (unlike some of the riff-raff in our community).

I realize not everyone in the area likes Tony (I think we can think of one person), but I believe the editorial page has been better under his direction. Before Tony it was only the Ozarkers who were against anyone having any kind of fun (sex in particular).

Also for those who complain about the News Leader, go to the Library Center and look at the old Springfield Daily News and the old News Leaders from the 1950s. The Daily News front page was mainly wire stories of the most lurid nature. I found one which featured a story about a 19 year old boy who dug up the body of a nine year old girl who had died of cancer for sexual purposes. What did this have to do with folks in Springfield? The News Leaders seemed to be filled with opinon pieces "longing for the good old days when Ma made my sister panties out of Pa's chew tobacky pouches."

I realize Tony stepped on some toes. Some will take credit for him leaving. Really sad that some would have such blind hatred and lack of respect for someone more talented than them, but that is what we in the business have to put up with. Good luck, Tony. Don't eat too much of that Pez.

*Note: No tennis balls were thrown at Tony or anyone else during this blogger get-together.

Happy V.D (That stands for Valentine's Day)!

Valentine’s Day is here and almost past. It is a holiday that you either love or hate, because your memories are either good or bad. CNN has a great story on their website about this.

Sadly, at the moment there is no woman in Desdinova’s life, so I haven’t had to purchase anything for VD (Valentine’s Day).

I understand my co-worker, Chubby or whatever his name is, has been railing on Valentine’s Day as an evil plot by women to get gifts. Nice attitude. Of course, across town, “Popcicle Boy” has been giving advice on what to do for Valentine’s Day. Men: I’m no chick magnet (although I have invented one and when it is perfected I WILL RULE THE WORLD! Mwu-HAHAHAHA!) but I’m know that if you are taking advice on how to be romantic from Vincent David John Jacob Jingle Himerschmit Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla (who found a kangaroo) Shimmy Shimmy Ko-ko Bop Ramma Lama Ding Dong Do Wah Diddy Diddy Da Do Ron Ron Ron Da Do Ron Ron Gidyup Ooomp Pompa Oooomp Pompa Mow Mow Hiyo Silver Away Banana Fanna Fo Fanna De Doo Doo Doo De Da Da Da (That's all I want to say to you)Gabba Gabba Hey Gabba Hey (Now you're one of us) two all-beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onion on a sesame seed bun, Itsy Bittsy Tiny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Joiner-Kersee Sammy Davis Junior Jericho, YOU DON’T DESERVE A GIRLFRIEND OR WIFE!

I spent a ton of money between seventh grade and my senor year on Eunice Moneymaker (pictured above). She went and married another guy. I really feel that she should pay me back for all the money I wasted on her. For instance, I would buy her a box of chocolates and she would give them to the rednecks and jock boys in her homeroom class. Eunice's knack for heartbreaking is responsible for me becoming the Super-villain of the Ozarks.

However, being nice does sometimes have advantages. I gave one young lady I was interested in a Valentine. I sort of snuck it in with something else. She didn’t notice it. I thought I had failed. The next day, she told me she found it later. She thanked me for it. She also told me the rat she was dating at that time had not given her a Valentine. She’s now married to someone else, but at least she appreciated it.

So Happy VD to all of you!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ROBOT SEX?

I understand a certain talk radio show host last week took a very firm stand on an issue: He is against sex with robots. DRAT! He knows of my evil plan to create an army of sexy female robots to seduce and enslave all the men in power so I can take over the world. Mwu-HAHAHAHAHA!

Quiet Riot, Eunice Moneymaker, the University and the Downfall of Good Radio

Earlier this week, the lead singer of the 80's heavy metal band Quiet Riot, Kevin DuBrow, died. It got me think about what made me become a SUPER-VILLAIN OF THE OZARKS.

The picture above is of Eunice Moneymaker (not her real name, but my name isn't Desdinova either). I met her in seventh grade and she ruined my life. Let's just say that young Desdinova tried to do anything to make her fall in love with him. She was quite popular and often interviewed by the school newspaper. She mentioned that her favorite pasttime was "listening to the radio."

At that point, I decided "If I get into radio, she will fall in love with me." In these ponderous articles (yes, even junior high journalism can be ponderous) she would give the name of her favorite song. Once she said it was "Cum On Feel the Noize" by Quiet Riot. It just so happened that was my favorite song. I had something in common with Eunice. I soon found out Eunice was one of these people who only liked a new song for a few weeks and moved on to the next flavor of the month. Also Eunice had this horrible little friend named Lillith Vore. Lillith said that if you turned the song up to full blast DuBrow was singing something dirty. Of course, Lillith prefered Barry Manilow.

Also the station in our hometown, KLWT-FM 92, played the single version of the song which was shorter. The rest of the time they played Barry Manilow, Dan Foggleberg and Air Supply. UGH! I thought "When I program radio that stuff will be gone. It will be all Quiet Riot, Motley Crue, Ratt, Ozzy, BOC, Van Halen, Sex Pistols and Zappa. NOTHING WILL STOP ME! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I went off to Southwest Missouri State University and obtained a degree in electronic media. I was told by the instructors there that I had a great future in radio. Sadly, the radio industry began taking a turn for the worst.

The industry now believes that radio should not be programed for the listener, but for the advertiser. For some reason the "good" music (The lame stuff I hate) must be separated from the "Bad music advertisers don't like" (the stuff I love). Put the "bad music" on a weak signal so nobody can hear it and don't promote it.

There is WAY TOO MUCH country music and talk out there on the radio. Talk is the worst. Besides the fact that the majoroity of corporate radio companies seem uninterested in programing anything that would be of interest to anyone under 40, or at least a REAL person under 40 as opposed to a mythical version of what they THINK a person under 40 is like (there idea of a woman under 40 is something akin to June Cleaver than the women I know under 40).

Jones Media has now unleased the most misguided format idea yet and, unfortunatly, the company I work for picked up on it: Timeless love songs. Crappy, mushy, slow wimp music and announcers must read liners rather than be good ole fashioned on-air personalities.

I feel the reason younger listeners are going to Ipods and sateilite services is because not only are they not hearing the music they want, but they don't trust the industry. Everyone who reads this blog knows I HATE TALK RADIO with a passion.

The two talk bozos in town (KSGF's Vincent David John Jacob Jingle Himerschmit Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla (who found a kangaroo) Shimmy Shimmy Ko-ko Bop Ramma Lama Ding Dong Do Wah Diddy Diddy Da Do Ron Ron Ron Da Do Ron Ron Gidyup Ooomp Pompa Oooomp Pompa Mow Mow Hiyo Silver Away Banana Fanna Fo Fanna De Doo Doo Doo De Da Da Da (That's all I want to say to you)Gabba Gabba Hey Gabba Hey (Now you're one of us) two all-beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onion on a sesame seed bun, Itsy Bittsy Tiny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Joiner-Kersee Sammy Davis Junior Jericho and KWTO-AM's new boy, Chubby Buffoon) are showing just how much they HATE KIDS AND THEIR CULTURE.

Popcicle Boy has been ranting and raving how you shouldn't let you kids play the Warcraft or let your kids see the movies Golden Compass. Chubby Buffoon said that parents who allow their kids to listen to hip-hop are "garbage."

I believe any parent who doesn't allow their kids to play Warcraft, watch the Golden Compass or listen to hip-hop SHOULD BE TURNED INTO TO D.F.S AS ABUSIVE PARENTS. PARENTS LIKE THAT ARE NO BETTER THAN THE JERKS THAT KILLED ROWAN FORD!

Now some of you are saying, "Des, doesn't that Chubby guy work at the same station as you?" Unfortunatly yes. I can't believe he is allowed to come in a breath that same air and walk on the same floor as me, but some people like him better than me. These are middle-aged white sales guys who have no taste in music. They love guys like Chubby and Popcicle Boy (and Rush, Hannity and others talk radio scumbags).

Chubby has it in for the University that gave Desdinova TWO DEGREES. I snooped in his mailbox (I thought I would see a love letter from the middle-aged white sales guys) and saw an e-mail from a typical right-wing nutcase Ozarker saying that MSU "forced a girl to have lesbian sex in front of class as a punishment." First of all, the girl was accused of homophobia, so the punishment would fit the crime. Also, as a former student, a little lesbian action in front of class would be nice. I think that would be a good use of our taxpayer money.

I'm really thinking I may go back to MSU, it sounds more sane than radio. Eunice Moneymaker, this is all your fault!

Don't Worry Britney - I Still Respect You

I'm not sure why everyone is trashing Britney Spears. I like to see chubby girls in hot pants and fishnet hose dance on TV. This use to be a staple of the Colgate Comedy Hour during Martin and Lewis's tenure. At least she has never done anything really stupid like host a talk radio show on KSGF.

Then there is her fan on You Tube, Chris Crocker. Someone sign this boy up for a radio show or a video music show or something. This kid needs to be promoted and needs to be BIG! Screw Hanity, Rush and the other idiots - THIS IS WHO AMERICA NEEDS TO BE LISTENING TO!

Is That Ah-boot Me?

Doc Larry posted on Lost Chord about an article written in the Community Free Press by Vincent David John Jacob Jingle Himerschmit Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla (who found a kangaroo) Shimmy Shimmy Ko-ko Bop Ramma Lama Ding Dong Do Wah Diddy Diddy Da Do Ron Ron Ron Da Do Ron Ron Gidyup Ooomp Pompa Oooomp Pompa Mow Mow Hiyo Silver Away Banana Fanna Fo Fanna De Doo Doo Doo De Da Da Da (That's all I want to say to you)Gabba Gabba Hey Gabba Hey (Now you're one of us) two all-beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onion on a sesame seed bun, Itsy Bittsy Tiny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Joiner-Kersee Sammy Davis Junior Jericho. For those of you not familiar with the Community Free Press, this is a free newspaper that is found outside the restrooms at Borders. People usually read it in the bathroom there and then leave it on the floor.

Out of curiosity I picked up a copy to see what the hot wind from Canada was blowing. He rambles about not believing the mainstream media, but especially BEWARE OF LOCAL BLOGGERS WHO HIDE BEHIND ALIASES. (GASP! SHOCK!) He says these bloggers say "the most outrageous things" but he can't "challenge them" because he "can't find them because they are anonymous or use an alias." (I assume he is referring to me. I hope so. Mwu-HAHAHAHAHA!)

According to the self-proclaimed king of Springfield talk radio boast that "fate" brought one of these evil bloggers to his office. He says he "challenged" this person but he "lobbed bombs."

Either he is referring to someone else or Talk Radio Guy (the alias he used on the late lamented Missouri Radio message board) is living in a fantasy world where he had a fight with ME. Granted if he cornered me I would probably lob a smoke bomb and jump through a window to escape his "challenge." (Kind of like the Riddler on Batman) More than likely I just stand there and laugh at him.

I would say, "Fool, do you think that you can do anything to stop me, Desdinova the Eternal Light and Super Villain of the Ozarks! Soon everyone in this area will be liberals! I'll rid the area of country music, pick-up trucks and overalls! I'll bring back the Studio, the big sliding board, the amusement rides at Dolling Park, Friday Free Ride, Captain Pink will be mayor and I'll turn KSGF into a reincarnation of KICK! AND YOU CAN"T STOP ME, Vincent David John Jacob Jingle Himerschmit Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla (who found a kangaroo) Shimmy Shimmy Ko-ko Bop Ramma Lama Ding Dong Do Wah Diddy Diddy Da Do Ron Ron Ron Da Do Ron Ron Gidyup Ooomp Pompa Oooomp Pompa Mow Mow Hiyo Silver Away Banana Fanna Fo Fanna De Doo Doo Doo De Da Da Da (That's all I want to say to you)Gabba Gabba Hey Gabba Hey (Now you're one of us) two all-beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onion on a sesame seed bun, Itsy Bittsy Tiny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Joiner-Kersee Sammy Davis Junior Jericho!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"

I should add that the reason I started this blog of my own was because the folks at the Free Press was going to run an editorial blasting me and the other bloggers for making fun of the Talk Radio Guy (He's their hero. Aaahhhhh!) They like to start trouble.

Just a suggestion

If we can fly flags at half-mast for Republicans such as Reagan and Ford, then shouldn't we also do the same for Playboy playmates.