LET'S MAKE WEENIE-BLOGGERS CRY!

In honor of that Great American David Letterman, I've come up with a Top 10 of things to say to Weenie-Bloggers to make them cry.

• 10. I saw the photos of your kids on your blog. Good God, they're ugly!
• 9. How much do you pay the Kansas City Star to link to your blog?
• 8. Did you hear that KSGF is changing its format to "chick flick music?"
• 7. I think the News Leader should have covered Pride Fest more than those dumb tea-parties your friends have.
• 6. I wondered why you think Sarah Palin is better than Paris Hilton until I saw your wife. Yyyeeeccchhhh! You have NO TASTE IN WOMEN!
• 5. Anybody tell you how much you look like Jeff Dunham's Walter dummy?
  
• 4. I'm glad your name is on your blog. It will be easier to turn you over to the Highway Patrol Fusion Center.
• 3. I got my first "Thank You Blogger" check from the President. Oh yeah, you don't get one because you supported the old white guy.
• 2. Did you know John Wayne and Ronald Reagan were gay lovers?
• 1. I'm positive - David Catanese could kick you butt.
  

GUY FROM STRYPER MARRIES HOOKER

When I was in high school there was one heavy metal band that I could NOT stand - Stryper. I always thought they were a plot cooked up by a bunch of adults. I felt the same way about Petra. I also didn't trust Stryper because they wore black and gold, which was the Lebanon High School colors.

CNN reports that Oz Fox of Stryper (who are surprisingly still together) married Annie Lobert Friday in Las Vegas. She is the founder of a Vegas based group called Hookers For Jesus.

You can't make stuff like this up.

IF THIS IS "NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN," HOW COME I TURNED OUT NORMAL

I bought this DVD a few days ago. It is a box set that samples cartoons that ran on Saturday mornings in the 1970's. I watched all of these shows. I was looking the box and noticed a warning label: "THIS IS INTENDED FOR ADULT COLLECTORS. THIS IS NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN."

They also have this same label on the Sesame Street Old School collection, which is the original shows from the 70's which I grew up on.

I feel insulted. I grew up watching this stuff. I'm not in prison. I turned out fairly normal. I don't see the harm in letting kids see this. If I had kids I'd let them watch it. I'd rather my kids watch this stuff than read that Bill O'Reilly book for kids, but that is what makes me Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

RADIO/CARTOON VOICE OF LOIS LANE DIES AT 94

Joan Alexander, who was the voice of Lois Lane on the Adventures of Superman radio show, had died at age 94. She was also the voice of Lois Lane in the Fleischer and Filmation cartoons. Here is the Washington Post story about her.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL THE MAMAS!

Do something nice for your mama, even if her name isn't Cass.

DOM DELUISE DIES AT 75

He was one of those guys who you can't name all the great shows and movies he was in. I thought of a few that probably won't be mentioned. He was the voice of the landlord Mr. Ivictus in the Hanna-Barbera cartoon Roman Holidays. He was the weasely guy in Glass Bottom Boat and John Astin's shrink in the Western comedy Evil Roy Slade. He also had a sitcom in the 70's, Lottsa Luck, that was based on the Britcom On the Buses. I'm also old enough to remember that he used to cut Dean Martin's hair everyweek. Here is CNN's story.

Rest in Peace Captain Chaos! Dot-dotta DDDDAAAAAA!

PUNCH UP YOUR RESUME WITH 70s PORN CHIC

An out-of-work copywriter named Lawson Clarke came up with a great way to attract attention to potential employers. Ad Age's Bob Garfield reports that Clarke created a 70's porn themed website showcasing some of his best work and his half naked body. The site, malecopywriter.com, looks like a Playgirl centerfold with Clarke posing on a bearskin rug with his "best work" displayed on a neo-Panasonic portable TV. When you first arrive on the site the TV is playing, what appears to be, an old "Sign-Off" tape. Maybe that is what this blog needs to attract readers - a picture of me naked.