My Favorite Christmas Stuff and a few other things

Favorite Christmas movies (No real order): The Christmas Carol with Alister Sims as Scrooge, which is about an old miser that mistreats his help being scared out of his wits by ghost (Why would I like that?).
Christmas Vacation and White Christmas: I associate these two together because of a line Chevy Chase utters it Christmas Vacation. I prefer White Christmas to Holiday Inn (where Bing introduces the song "White Christmas") because Danny Kaye is great comedian and Rosemary Clooney and Vera Ellen are HOT!
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and Santa Claus because they are just plain bad, but no maudlin like most Christmas stories for children. Best when viewed with the MST3K gang (I remember that Aunt Norma on Children's Hour would announce that you could see Santa Claus at the Tower Theater for free if you brought a canned good).
Let us not forget Christmas Story and Ralphie's quest for "the Holy Grail of Christmas Gifts" - the Red Ryder BB gun.

Favorite Christmas Songs: All time favorite: "Little Drummer Boy." When I was younger I liked the original by the Harry Simeone Chorale, but as I've grown older I LOVE the version by David Bowie and Bing Crosby which also incorporates as song called "Peace On Earth." BTW, Ozark Politics has posted the video clip of Der Bingle and the Thin White Duke singing this song (Note I feel the worst versions of this are by Kintaro and Johnny Cash).
2. "Happy Xmas (the War Is Over)" by John Lennon fits my mood about Christmas. I never get what I want and I usually have to work. Most Ozarkers hate this song, which is why it is number two on my list.
3. "Rudolph the Red Nose Raindeer" because like Rudolph, I was ostracized as a child. Mark my words I'll get back at them! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHA!
4. "Feliz Navidad" by Jose Feliciano. I like this because it is happy and peppy. It just makes me feel good. Also because like #2, Ozarkers hate it.
5. "Rockin Around the Christmas Tree" by Brenda Lee. It's happy and fun.

Other favorites include "Run Run Rudolph" by Chuck Berry, "Silent Night" (Any version except the Stevie "I'm in pain" Nicks version), "Sleigh Ride" (Any version, because you can't screw that song up), "The Christmas Song" by Nat King Cole, "Do You Here What I Hear?," "Mary's Boy Child" and "Calypso Noel" by Johnny Mathis.

The Christmas Songs I don't like: "I'll Be Home For Christmas" which is the official song of holiday depression.
"Home For the Holidays" people tell what they are doing for the holidays, not realizing the singer is probably breaking into their homes while they are gone. This song also features the guy with the pumpkin pie fetish.
"Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" by Elmo and Patsy. I used to like this when I was in junior high when a radio station would play this once a year. Matter of fact very little Christmas music was played on the radio when I was young. Now this song gets played to death on radio and it is usually requested by rednecks.
"I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" by Gayla Peevy. Uses to you only heard this on Dr. Demento. Now that some stations play all Christmas music during the holidays, this one gets too much airplay. I hated it before and I can't take it now that it gets played every five minutes. AAAAGGHHHH!
"Mary Did You Know" by Mark Lowery. Not only is Lowery overly dramatic but if you read Chapter One of the Book of Mark, Gabriel the angel explain this to Mary. Also, if you are a virgin and an angel tells you are going to have a baby, you probably know your child is going to be special. So why did Mark Lowery feel he has to tell Mary this. Ozarkers request this song a lot. They like it. That means I DON'T LIKE IT!

My fear is next Christmas someone will come up with "Mary Did You Know My Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer."

Favorite TV Christmas episodes: Dragnet: Big Little Jesus (Black and white version) - Friday and Smith look for a stolen Baby Jesus. The culprit is a small Hispanic boy who wanted to give the baby a ride in his wagon he got for Christmas.

Have Gun Will Travel: Hanging Cross - Paladin has to intervene in a fight between a rich rancher and Indians over the custody of a small boy. Paladin hangs up his guns because "this is a night of peace."

Twilight Zone: Night of the Meek - Art Carney is a department store Santa with a magic bag. If I tell you any more I'll give away the ending.

WKRP - a Christmas Carol-like dream for Mr. Carlson brought on by Johnny Fever's Brownies. Scariest part: In the future, Herb is the only employee of a totally automated WKRP. He even voice tracks his sales calls.

STUFF NOT RELATED TO CHRISTMAS BUT TO THE HOLIDAY MOVIES:

Check out the 1964 Vincent Price film Last Man On Earth. It is based on the book I Am Legend. Author Richard Matheson hated it and made American International change the name of it. I find it to be better than Omega Man, a 1972 movie which Matheson didn't like either.

Also try to find a copy of Andy Milligan's Bloodthirsty Butchers. It is his 1970 version of the Sweeney Todd story. This movie is more fun than the 1930's Todd Slaughter version of Sweeney Todd because it has a fight broken up by a clown in drag and a pie containing a lady's nipple (although I think it looks like the bottom of a purple onion).

Back to the Studio

It has been a long time since I featured an ad for the Studio from the Springfield Daily News. This is January 1978. The Opening of Misty Beethoven, directed by Radley Metzger, is considered a masterpiece of adult film (for what ever that is worth).

I had to include the other ad as an example of how things have changed in Springfield. I'm not sure if this is the motel that was at the corner of Glenstone and Kearney when I was a kid or not. There were several motels that advertised adult films on their signs. I guess that has been replaced by Continental Breakfast and free WiFi. (Sorry about the quality. The microfilm machines at the Library Center are lousy.

Happy Holidays or Sit and Spin!

If you say "Happy Holidays" to someone and they give you some big lecture on the "culture war" or "war on Christmas," do what I plan to do.

GIVE THEM THE FINGER AND SAY "I WAS ONLY BEING NICE! I DON'T REALLY WANT YOU TO HAVE A NICE HOLIDAY! SIT AND SPIN!"

Quiet Riot, Eunice Moneymaker, the University and the Downfall of Good Radio

Earlier this week, the lead singer of the 80's heavy metal band Quiet Riot, Kevin DuBrow, died. It got me think about what made me become a SUPER-VILLAIN OF THE OZARKS.

The picture above is of Eunice Moneymaker (not her real name, but my name isn't Desdinova either). I met her in seventh grade and she ruined my life. Let's just say that young Desdinova tried to do anything to make her fall in love with him. She was quite popular and often interviewed by the school newspaper. She mentioned that her favorite pasttime was "listening to the radio."

At that point, I decided "If I get into radio, she will fall in love with me." In these ponderous articles (yes, even junior high journalism can be ponderous) she would give the name of her favorite song. Once she said it was "Cum On Feel the Noize" by Quiet Riot. It just so happened that was my favorite song. I had something in common with Eunice. I soon found out Eunice was one of these people who only liked a new song for a few weeks and moved on to the next flavor of the month. Also Eunice had this horrible little friend named Lillith Vore. Lillith said that if you turned the song up to full blast DuBrow was singing something dirty. Of course, Lillith prefered Barry Manilow.

Also the station in our hometown, KLWT-FM 92, played the single version of the song which was shorter. The rest of the time they played Barry Manilow, Dan Foggleberg and Air Supply. UGH! I thought "When I program radio that stuff will be gone. It will be all Quiet Riot, Motley Crue, Ratt, Ozzy, BOC, Van Halen, Sex Pistols and Zappa. NOTHING WILL STOP ME! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I went off to Southwest Missouri State University and obtained a degree in electronic media. I was told by the instructors there that I had a great future in radio. Sadly, the radio industry began taking a turn for the worst.

The industry now believes that radio should not be programed for the listener, but for the advertiser. For some reason the "good" music (The lame stuff I hate) must be separated from the "Bad music advertisers don't like" (the stuff I love). Put the "bad music" on a weak signal so nobody can hear it and don't promote it.

There is WAY TOO MUCH country music and talk out there on the radio. Talk is the worst. Besides the fact that the majoroity of corporate radio companies seem uninterested in programing anything that would be of interest to anyone under 40, or at least a REAL person under 40 as opposed to a mythical version of what they THINK a person under 40 is like (there idea of a woman under 40 is something akin to June Cleaver than the women I know under 40).

Jones Media has now unleased the most misguided format idea yet and, unfortunatly, the company I work for picked up on it: Timeless love songs. Crappy, mushy, slow wimp music and announcers must read liners rather than be good ole fashioned on-air personalities.

I feel the reason younger listeners are going to Ipods and sateilite services is because not only are they not hearing the music they want, but they don't trust the industry. Everyone who reads this blog knows I HATE TALK RADIO with a passion.

The two talk bozos in town (KSGF's Vincent David John Jacob Jingle Himerschmit Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla (who found a kangaroo) Shimmy Shimmy Ko-ko Bop Ramma Lama Ding Dong Do Wah Diddy Diddy Da Do Ron Ron Ron Da Do Ron Ron Gidyup Ooomp Pompa Oooomp Pompa Mow Mow Hiyo Silver Away Banana Fanna Fo Fanna De Doo Doo Doo De Da Da Da (That's all I want to say to you)Gabba Gabba Hey Gabba Hey (Now you're one of us) two all-beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onion on a sesame seed bun, Itsy Bittsy Tiny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Joiner-Kersee Sammy Davis Junior Jericho and KWTO-AM's new boy, Chubby Buffoon) are showing just how much they HATE KIDS AND THEIR CULTURE.

Popcicle Boy has been ranting and raving how you shouldn't let you kids play the Warcraft or let your kids see the movies Golden Compass. Chubby Buffoon said that parents who allow their kids to listen to hip-hop are "garbage."

I believe any parent who doesn't allow their kids to play Warcraft, watch the Golden Compass or listen to hip-hop SHOULD BE TURNED INTO TO D.F.S AS ABUSIVE PARENTS. PARENTS LIKE THAT ARE NO BETTER THAN THE JERKS THAT KILLED ROWAN FORD!

Now some of you are saying, "Des, doesn't that Chubby guy work at the same station as you?" Unfortunatly yes. I can't believe he is allowed to come in a breath that same air and walk on the same floor as me, but some people like him better than me. These are middle-aged white sales guys who have no taste in music. They love guys like Chubby and Popcicle Boy (and Rush, Hannity and others talk radio scumbags).

Chubby has it in for the University that gave Desdinova TWO DEGREES. I snooped in his mailbox (I thought I would see a love letter from the middle-aged white sales guys) and saw an e-mail from a typical right-wing nutcase Ozarker saying that MSU "forced a girl to have lesbian sex in front of class as a punishment." First of all, the girl was accused of homophobia, so the punishment would fit the crime. Also, as a former student, a little lesbian action in front of class would be nice. I think that would be a good use of our taxpayer money.

I'm really thinking I may go back to MSU, it sounds more sane than radio. Eunice Moneymaker, this is all your fault!

My inspiration is a pirate

As some of you realize, I'm not one of those serious bloggers. I use an "alias" and claim to be a super villain. Some would ask what my inspiration was to start this blog. The Best Page In the Universe, which is ran by a pirate named Maddox. I don't agree with everything he has written, but, like my blog, it is probably not supposed to be taken seriously. This is my favorite post by Maddox.

Halloween Movies Suggetions - Five Directors Good and Bad

These are just five quick suggestions for movies you might want to watch tonight. I narrowed it down to five good and five "bad but fun" movies from famous directors. I wish I had more time to give you a list of great directors and films (It is hard to narrow it down to five). On the other hand the five "bad" directors had more than one "bad film that is fun to watch." Also these are my favorites not necessarily which one is best.

1. Alfred Hitchcock - Psycho
2. Tod Browning - Mark of the Vampire
3. Wes Craven - Scream
4. Ridley Scott - Alien
5. George Romero - Night of the Living Dead


1. Ed Wood - Plan 9 From Outer Space
2. Andy Milligan - Rats Are Coming, The Werewolves Are Here
3. Larry Buchanan - Zontar the Thing From Venus
4. William Beaudine - Bela Lugosi Meets the Brooklyn Gorilla
5. Al Adamson - Dracula Vs Frankenstein

Halloween Top 50 Songs

These songs are not in order:

Monster Mash – Bobby B. Pickett
Dinner With Drac – John Zacherle
Til The Following Night – Screaming Lord Sutch
Bark at the Moon – Ozzy Osbourne
Don’t Fear The Reaper – Blue Oyster Cult
Bela Lugosi’s Dead - Bauhaus
Children of the Grave – Black Sabbath
Creature with The Atom Brain – Roky Erikson
Season of the Witch – Donavon
Welcome to My Nightmare - Alice Cooper
Frankenstein – Edgar Winter Group
Black Magic Women – Santana
She’s Fallen In Love with a Monster Man – Screaming Lord Sutch
She’s My Witch – Kip Tyler
The Voodoo Walk - Sonny Richard’s Panics (with Cindy and Lindy)
Purple People Eater – Sheb Wooley
The Midnight Stroll – The Revells
Vampire Rock and Roll – Fabulous Poodles
Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These) – Marilyn Manson
Spooky – Atlanta Rhythm Section
Thriller – Michael Jackson
Red Right Hand – Nick Cave
Witch Queen of New Orleans – Redbone
Batman, Wolfman, Frankenstein or Dracula – the Diamonds
Boris the Spider – The Who
Bloodletting - Concrete Blonde
Frankenstein - New York Dolls
Nightmare- Artie Shaw
In the Hall of the Mountain King - Sounds Incorporated
Casting My Spell - Johnny Otis Show
Night of Fear - The Move
You Must Be a Witch - Lollipop Shop
Charlotte’s Web - the Fuzztones
The Mummy - Bob Mc Fadden and Dor
The Blob - the Five Blobs
Ghost Riders in the Sky - The Ramrods
Hurry Sundown - The Outlaws
I Put a Spell on You - Screamin Jay Hawkins
Sympathy for the Devil - the Rolling Stones
Godzilla - Blue Oyster Cult
King Kong - The Kinks
Rockin in the Graveyard - Jackie Morningstar
Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon
The Witch - the Sonics
Black Sabbath - Black Sabbath
Black JuJu - Alice Cooper
I Walk on Gilded Splinters - Dr. John
Frankenstein’s Den - The Hollywood Flames
Screaming Ball at Dracula Hall - the Duponts
Grimly Fiendish - The Damned