THE REASON A NATIONAL ANTI-BULLYING LAW NEEDS REPARATIONS FOR VICTIMS

As you know from reading this blog, I believe we need a national law to deal with the bullying problem. In November, I wrote a post about how I feel that there needs to be a strict federal anti-bullying law. This law should also require the bully and his/her family to pay reparations to the victim.

Some people would say, "Desdinova, why would you believe such a thing is necessary?" My reason has a name: Donny Dickweed (pictured above).

Donny was both a jock and a preppy. His grandfather was the president of the local bank and his family owned a company that made recliners and mattresses. Donny picked on both me and my "good twin brother." As a matter of fact, Donny Dickweed is one of the models for the bad guy, Johnny Waldorf, in my "good twin brother's" novel, Real George.

What is Donny Dickweed doing today? I saw his profile on Facebook and he lives in a large beach house in Florida with a hot wife. He is in real estate and is (of course) a Republican. Meanwhile, I live in a small apartment and make minimum wage, even though I have two college degrees and work in the mass media.

I feel every time somebody buys a recline or mattress, I and my "good twin brother" should get at least 75-percent of the profit to make up for all the "heart-checks," "pink bellies" and "Does-this-hurt?" sessions we were forced to endure from this guy. I also want to note that he didn't just pick on me and my "good twin brother" but other students both male and female. I once saw him choke a female student until she nearly passed out. He also called Eunice Moneymaker "zit face" until she cried.

There were very few teachers and administrators who would stand up to this jerk, because his family were very prominant in the community. His grandfather has a monument to dedicated to him or something like that. Donny was allowed to get away with this sort of behavior because of his family's money and power.

If you are wondering, neither I nor my "good twin brother" are friends with Donny Dickweed on Facebook. Eunice Moneymaker is but, as I have pointed out before, Eunice didn't have good taste in men or she would have went steady with me.

The fact is one never forgets the scars left by a bully, however if the bully and his family had to pony up some dough to the victim (75 percent of every recliner and mattress sold), the pain might hurt less.

OLD PEOPLE ENJOY NEGATIVE STORIES ABOUT YOUNG PEOPLE

I had a news director at one local radio station that ordered me to write traffic accident reports so that it sounded as if the younger person caused the accident. Even if the Missouri State Highway Patrol said in their report that the older driver was at fault, the younger driver was to be fingered as the cause of the accident because, "Older listeners and the advertisers like it that way. That way if an advertiser caused the accident, they won't be upset with us." That news director also wrote several negative stories about youth because "the older listeners like to hear bad things about teenagers."

Reuters/MSNBC had a story to about research conducted in German on this subject. Yes, old people do like negative stories about young people. I believe that many news organizations in the Ozarks (News Leader???) feel as my former news director did and these German researchers have shown. However, THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT THE NEGATIVE YOUTH STORIES NEED TO TAKE PRECEDENT OVER POSITIVE STORIES ABOUT YOUNG PEOPLE!!!

After all, you are reporting the news, not writing for 21 Jump Street.

Of course, opinions, like this one, is why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I STARTED BEING THIS WAY IN KINDERGARTEN

I wanted to mention the passing of a wonderful lady. Her name was Edythe Miller and she was my kindergarten in Lebanon, MO. She made going to school fun and comfortable for children entering the scary world of public education (and Mark Twain Elementary could be very scary at times). Mrs. Miller had a elaborate costume for every holiday or special event. She wore everything from a bunny outfit at Easter to a Betsy Ross outfit for the Bicentennial. At the end of every school day she kissed every child on their way out the door. It didn't matter if they were rich or poor, clean or dirty, sick or healthy, white or black. They got a goodbye kiss.

One of the things you have to learn in kindergarten is left and right. When it came time to be tested, I got the answers wrong and she calmly corrected me. In my typical style I announced to Mrs. Miller, "I have decided that from now on things shall be changed. The right is now the left and the left is right. We will all adhere to the change at once!"

Mrs. Miller handled this gracefully. She didn't smack me around or pummel me into the ground, as the other teachers at Mark Twain Elementary would have done. She just wrote a note to my parents on my report card "You son expresses strong opinions."

And it is those "strong opinions" that make me the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

THE SONG "SOCIETY'S CHILD" ISN'T ABOUT ME

I first heard the song "Society's Child" by Janis Ian when I was in junior high in Lebanon, MO. It was on an Kansas AM oldies station late one night (this was in the early 80's).

At the time I was infatuated with Eunice Moneymaker (pictured above) and several other of her cheerleader friends. Everyone from the redneck rubes in class to teachers and other adults told me I couldn't go steady with a cheerleader since I wasn't a jock. They would get very angry at me when I said it shouldn't matter that I wasn't a jock and should be allowed to have a cheerleader as a girlfriend. Apparently this is some big important law on the books in either the city of Lebanon and Laclede County as much hatred as was directed at me for wanting to break the "cheerleaders-only-go-with-jocks-law." If this is a law I'm going to ask both Lebanon Mayor C.P. Craig and President Obama to create a law to force cheerleaders to date at least one nerd a month.

I heard this song and thought this was about how Eunice wasn't (and the other cheerleaders) allowed to go steady with me because I wasn't a jock.

I've since found out I was wrong about the song. It is about a white girl not being allowed to date a black boy.

However, I'm pretty certain that the songs "Seven Year Ache" by Roseanne Cash and "You're So Vain" by Carly Simon are about me.

I should say that Eunice's mother, Kay, is a very nice lady and had no problems with me being in love with her daughter. It was Eunice had a problem with me being in love with her. If you see Kay, tell her Sherman Muckenfuss says hello (Yes, my real name is Sheman Muckenfuss - At least it ain't Shottenkirk).
Here is Janis Ian singing that song on the Smothers Brother Comedy Hour in 1967.

Lebanon Daily Record 1959: Mr. Magoo Gives Stag Beer For Xmas

From a December 1959 Lebanon Daily Record. I find the unusual because we have not only the idea a beer for a Christmas gift being given by a cartoon character, but the ad is in the newspaper of a town the only recently started allowing liquor sales in grocery stores.

Day of Silence: Remembering the Cute Teacher and the Crazy Preacher at LHS in the 80s

The Lebanon Daily Record forums have been abuzz with talk about the Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network Day of Silence being observed at Lebanon High School. It is a volunteer observation. Students are not forced into observing (personally I thing they should be or face expulsion - but that is me).

The fuss over this reminded me of what happened at LHS in 1986 (maybe 1985).

It involved the young lady pictured above. I won't give her name. It isn't important to the story. She was a teacher. I never had her for class. Too bad, she was HOT! I wish I could have been one of those kids who had sex with a teacher. I'd pick her.

The country was talking about A.I.D.S. Homophobia was rampant among teenage boys. It gave them a certain amount of masculine reinforcement. LHS had (probably still does) quite a few rednecks and jocks. They liked to call those they didn't like "faggot" or "queer."

This young teacher got tired of the some of the guys calling other students these derogatory terms for gay people. She had enough of this and told them her brother was gay. She said she would bring him in an introduce him to show that he was a "real human being."

She took this to the principal, who told her no because he was afraid of possible violence toward her and he brother. That should have been the end of it.

Not long after, a local preacher, who was a known trouble maker, shows up asking why the school was going to allow gay men to "make love in front of the students." Some way this had become a crazy rumor spread around the school. I might add the preacher had NO children in the school and was known to cause trouble with the school over silly rumors. He claimed once that there was an arcade in Lebanon where teenagers were dancing naked and drinking. Needless to say it closed soon after. Worst of all, this preacher had a radio show on KLWT every morning. He bashed everyone from Ozzy Osbourne to Jane Fonda, who he called a "harlot." If I had been running KLWT, I WOULD HAVE TAKEN HIM OFF THE AIR. Unfortunately, I was a junior in high school at the time (Sadly, I have a degree in media from MSU and I'm still not allowed to make programming decisions in radio).

The teacher left Lebanon after just one year, but the preacher had to leave town too. He was caught having an affair with another woman. He now lives in Springfield. He writes bad Letters to the Editor in the News Leader and has been heard on one of the local talk radio shows (Guess who?). He is also involved with local politics (Republican, of course).

Just a little story I thought I'd share.