WORST JOB l EVER HAD - WATERLESS COOKWARE SALESMAN (While Bullied by Texans)

I thought the readers still subscribing to the old blog would enjoy this post from my current blog.

KATY PERRY GET REVENGE ON GUY WHO IGNORED HER IS SCHOOL

This is one of those stories I love. Yahoo Music reports that super hot babe and pop music star Katy Perry was performing a concert at the high school she attended. She saw a jock boy, who wouldn't give her the time of day in high school, in the audience. She pointed him out in front of everyone at the concert and let the jerk have it.

Pointing out into the audience, she identified one specific member of the crowd and asked, "Is that Shane Lopes? You were the most popular kid in my class, but you never wanted to date me, it was always Amanda Wayne." As the crowd laughed and cheered, she adopted a bit of swagger and added, "Oh yeah, you really chose right, honey. What's up now, playa?" Becoming an international, Grammy-nominated pop star evidently does wonderful things for your self-confidence.

TAKE THAT, JOCK BOY!!!

Apparently, this story upset some other little jock boy-douche bags. If you look at the comments, you will see some ugly hatred toward the incredible looking Miss Perry.

Among them is a comment from a brain damaged idiot calling himself "independent." Besides being too stupid to capitalize his name, he shows how un-hip and stupid he is by saying, "What a piece of garbage. still stuck in high school? Tells a lot about her just from this story. She must not be that great since I have never even heard of her until now." Excuse me, "independent," if you would stop listening to crap like Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh, you would know who Katy Perry is. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS A PIECE OF GARBAGE, YOU TALK-RADIO LISTENING SCUMBAG!!!

And then there is a scumbag called "See See," who says: "What a child... Move on... It does not prove anything, only that you are still bitter."

I should have known "See See" would have something hateful, negative and malicious to say, because they used this "weird baby" avatar. Anytime you see that, the post is usually by a person who is hateful, racist, right-wing, douche bag, asshole. I really wish the government would do something about these people, like have them arrested and tortured to death.

Loyal readers know that I frequently like to embarrass Eunice Moneymaker of Lebanon, MO for not going out with me in junior high and high school. Contrary to what a bunch of nitwits posting on Yahoo would say, I have every right to make fun of her now. Like Katy Perry, I'm famous.

THE SONG "SOCIETY'S CHILD" ISN'T ABOUT ME

I first heard the song "Society's Child" by Janis Ian when I was in junior high in Lebanon, MO. It was on an Kansas AM oldies station late one night (this was in the early 80's).

At the time I was infatuated with Eunice Moneymaker (pictured above) and several other of her cheerleader friends. Everyone from the redneck rubes in class to teachers and other adults told me I couldn't go steady with a cheerleader since I wasn't a jock. They would get very angry at me when I said it shouldn't matter that I wasn't a jock and should be allowed to have a cheerleader as a girlfriend. Apparently this is some big important law on the books in either the city of Lebanon and Laclede County as much hatred as was directed at me for wanting to break the "cheerleaders-only-go-with-jocks-law." If this is a law I'm going to ask both Lebanon Mayor C.P. Craig and President Obama to create a law to force cheerleaders to date at least one nerd a month.

I heard this song and thought this was about how Eunice wasn't (and the other cheerleaders) allowed to go steady with me because I wasn't a jock.

I've since found out I was wrong about the song. It is about a white girl not being allowed to date a black boy.

However, I'm pretty certain that the songs "Seven Year Ache" by Roseanne Cash and "You're So Vain" by Carly Simon are about me.

I should say that Eunice's mother, Kay, is a very nice lady and had no problems with me being in love with her daughter. It was Eunice had a problem with me being in love with her. If you see Kay, tell her Sherman Muckenfuss says hello (Yes, my real name is Sheman Muckenfuss - At least it ain't Shottenkirk).
Here is Janis Ian singing that song on the Smothers Brother Comedy Hour in 1967.

FARAH FAWCETT DIES AFTER A BATTLE WITH CANCER

My one weakness is blond women. From my junior high crush on a girl named Eunice Moneymaker to my obsession with Paris Hilton, I love well-dressed, blond girls with a lot of long hair. It probably started with Farah Fawcett. She died today at 62 after a brave battle with cancer. Here is the CNN obit.

One of my favorite moments involving Farah is from Cannonball Run. She plays a reporter/environmental activist ("I just LOVE trees!") investigating the cross-country Cannonball Race. She winds up in the ambulance driven by Burt Reynolds and Dom Deluise. She puts up a fuss so they have their doctor, played by Jack Elam, to give her laughing gas to calm her down. They wind up stopped by a car driven Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Junior, who are disguised as priest. Dean Martin realizes that Burt Reynolds is using the ambulance as a disguise as well. Reynolds tells him they have to get their "patient" to a hospital. Martin insist on looking in the back of the ambulance saying he has to "bless the patient." Reynolds opens the door where Farah lays zonked out and giggling on laughing gas. Dean Martin exclaims "OH, I'VE GOT TO BLESS HER!"

God bless you, Farah.

Happy V.D (That stands for Valentine's Day)!

Valentine’s Day is here and almost past. It is a holiday that you either love or hate, because your memories are either good or bad. CNN has a great story on their website about this.

Sadly, at the moment there is no woman in Desdinova’s life, so I haven’t had to purchase anything for VD (Valentine’s Day).

I understand my co-worker, Chubby or whatever his name is, has been railing on Valentine’s Day as an evil plot by women to get gifts. Nice attitude. Of course, across town, “Popcicle Boy” has been giving advice on what to do for Valentine’s Day. Men: I’m no chick magnet (although I have invented one and when it is perfected I WILL RULE THE WORLD! Mwu-HAHAHAHA!) but I’m know that if you are taking advice on how to be romantic from Vincent David John Jacob Jingle Himerschmit Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla (who found a kangaroo) Shimmy Shimmy Ko-ko Bop Ramma Lama Ding Dong Do Wah Diddy Diddy Da Do Ron Ron Ron Da Do Ron Ron Gidyup Ooomp Pompa Oooomp Pompa Mow Mow Hiyo Silver Away Banana Fanna Fo Fanna De Doo Doo Doo De Da Da Da (That's all I want to say to you)Gabba Gabba Hey Gabba Hey (Now you're one of us) two all-beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onion on a sesame seed bun, Itsy Bittsy Tiny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Joiner-Kersee Sammy Davis Junior Jericho, YOU DON’T DESERVE A GIRLFRIEND OR WIFE!

I spent a ton of money between seventh grade and my senor year on Eunice Moneymaker (pictured above). She went and married another guy. I really feel that she should pay me back for all the money I wasted on her. For instance, I would buy her a box of chocolates and she would give them to the rednecks and jock boys in her homeroom class. Eunice's knack for heartbreaking is responsible for me becoming the Super-villain of the Ozarks.

However, being nice does sometimes have advantages. I gave one young lady I was interested in a Valentine. I sort of snuck it in with something else. She didn’t notice it. I thought I had failed. The next day, she told me she found it later. She thanked me for it. She also told me the rat she was dating at that time had not given her a Valentine. She’s now married to someone else, but at least she appreciated it.

So Happy VD to all of you!