I DON'T LIKE GUYS WHO WEAR SUITS

I don't like guys who wear suits. They are usually preppy douche bags, who have a fetish-like obsession with money.

Case in point: two guys who I had to deal with at work today. They were Republicans (naturally) and they were wearing matching suits. I just kept think to myself, "What did these two dimwits do to screw up their lives to make themselves so uncool?" and also "Why is everyone here at work acting like these guys are cooler than me? These guys are dorks who wear suits!!!" The sad part is these geeks make more money than me.

An opinion, like this one, is why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!!

ANDY OF MAYBERRY FANS IN THE OZARKS CELEBRATE THE RETURN OF THE B&W EPISODES

If you watch the news you know that there are horrible things going on. The worst oil spill in U.S history, never ending war in the middle east, Nashville destroyed by flooding, not to mention the economy, unemployment, and housing market, however, Ozarkers are rejoicing.

Yes, Ozarkers are wetting themselves with happiness because KY 3 has announced that they will be showing the black and white episodes of the Andy Griffith Show starting next week. As you know I think Ozarkers are obsessive about the Andy Griffith Show to such a point it is nauseating. KY 3 announced this on their Facebook sight Thursday and soon Andy of Mayberry fans were giddy with glee.

I personally don't hate the color episodes of the Andy Griffith Show. It is shocking how some grown people, men especially, get angry when KY 3 or TV Land shows the color episodes. Of course, I have a theory about the local guys who get upset about the color episodes of the Andy Griffith Show.

I still cannot believe that none of the local TV stations have never ran Batman in reruns. Maybe they are still upset about this incident during the shows original run. I'll just have to settle for this You Tube channel.

And why was Get Smart never shown in reruns in Springfield? Or the Adventures of Superman or Have Gun Will Travel or Dark Shadows? Instead I have to buy the DVDs to see these shows, while the Andy of Mayberry fans get to watch their favorite show for free.

Besides, who would want to live in Mayberry? They probably have only one radio station and it is a country station owned by the Shepherd Group that plays that "Chicken Fried" song every hour. Also, there is no diversity in Mayberry. Everyone in Mayberry is WHITE. Yuck!

Of course, opinions like this one is why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

BETTER THAN STEALING CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS

There was a form on a Dominoes Pizza box for a Jackie Stiles Basketball Clinic. I thought I would sign up one of her biggest fans. Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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OZARKERS WERE AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF BUT NOT FASTER PUSSYCAT

While looking through some Springfield News Leaders from 1966, I found an ad for the Hi-M Drive-In. They were showing Russ Meyer's Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! The interesting part is that this same week another theater in town was showing Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Oddly enough, there was a noted trouble making preacher leading a crusade against of the Burton/Taylor film. The LTTE were saying the film was filled with "vulgar talk" and "excessive use of liquor." Oooooooohhhhhh! That is scary. They ignored the film where Tura Satana backed over a guy's crotch. It also came with a disclaimer at the beginning of the film.

The more things change the more they stay the same. The good thing is the News Leader only ran letters to the editor on Sunday instead of every day. It would cut down on the overabundance of letters from right-wing nutjobs, but of course, opinions like this are why I'm considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

SPRINGFIELD MUSIC LEGEND BENNY MAHAN DIES

Unfortunately, I never had a chance to see him perform live, but I've heard some recordings of his. I also recognize his name from countless marquees in Springfield during my youth. Local music legend Benny Mahan died over the weekend at age 65. The Springfield News Leader had a nice article Sunday on "The Local King" or music.

I also want to point you in the direction of a post on the Queen City Roller blog. It was posted about Benny Mahan on Saturday.

Tuesday evening, several people on Facebook mentioned his passing. A short time later, KSPR's Joe Daues mentioned he had talked to the family who said Benny Mahan was not dead but in the hospital. I didn't hear anymore, so I posted a message on Art Morris' Missouri Radio Message Board in hopes of hearing from someone who knew how he was doing. I had to keep bumping it because of the clogger/trolls that I mentioned in my previous post.

For some reason the subject of rock and roll and the local music scene upsets the clogger/trolls (They tend to listen to radio stations that don't play music), however, I received an e-mail on Friday from a friend of Benny Mahan's.

"It seems he had multiple bypass surgery on Monday and came through that ok. Sometime after that he had some plaque come loose in the arteries to his brain and suffered a series of mini strokes. He is in ICU and the prognosis is not too promising. Benny has a great love of life and hopefully his love of life will pull him through this. He certainly could use all the prayers you could say for him and if you're not a believer then just think positive and hopefully that will help pull him through this."

On Saturday, I contacted this person about the e-mail and they informed me that Benny Mahan had passed away.

I'm going to allow comments on this post for fans of Benny Mahan's. I will post them as soon as I can get them while screening out the trolls (I'm the unpopular one, not Benny). Also, you could post a message in the thread on the Missouri Radio Message Board (You will have to register).

THE LEGEND OF SHEBBA THE BELLY DANCER

This post on my blog has been over a year in the making. I had to go look through some of the old News Leaders and Daily News on microfilm at the Springfield Library Center to find the information I was looking for. It was in regards to a person known to many as "Shebba the Belly Dancer." When I was small, I remember that stories on the KY 3 6 o'clock news about "Shebba" sparked chuckles from my parents, but I also remember that the laughter stopped when "Shebba" took her own life. That name was stuck in the back of my brain for years, but I didn't know what it was that "Shebba" did.

Some of the info came from the memories of some veteran news people here in town, but most of it came from newspaper articles. I will not give her real name out of respect for any living family members. Also the photo above is not "Shebba" but a generic belly dancer.

"Shebba the Belly Dancer" first came to the attention of Ozarkers in 1977, when she asked to refuse her a place to display information of the benefits of belly dancing and how to get involved in belly dancing classes. City fathers thought she was going to be belly dancing in the courthouse. This spawned several visits to Springfield city council meetings where Shebba railed against the city council members for not listening to her when she tried to tell them what she wanted to do (They did allow her to set up a display with brochures in the courthouse rotunda).

The next time folks heard of her was when she showed up a city council meeting where a group called Springfield Council Against Pornography was pushing a tough anti-porn ordinance. Shebba told everyone that she recognized the preacher heading the anti-porn group as a man, who had tried to hire her and her dance troupe to perform a "nude fire dance" for a party with some of his male friends and possibly make some "films." The preacher resigned his position as head of the group. He didn't admit to Shebba's charges, but said the accusation drew too much attention to him (Some locals say that Shebba's accusations held water - one long- time Springfieldian referred to this as a "Baptist Boogie Nights").

The next month, Shebba had a scuffle at her home with Springfield PD when they came with a search warrant. It was believed that Shebba and her husband had reported a burglary and vandalizing of the home earlier. The police came to search for evidence that she had damaged the home herself as part of an insurance fraud scheme. This began a succession of assault charges, court appearances, police visits and fights with neighbors. One neighbor claimed that she tried to shoot him. She was charged with firing a gun into a building (she died before this went to trial).

In the middle of all of this, she would frequently call members of the media to tell them about the benefits of belly dancing and the "evils" of the Springfield city council and police department. One Springfieldian remembers that she once performed a sabre dance on the porch of the police department, facing Chestnut Expressway, and knocked the P & O off of the side of the building with her sabre, so it read "SPRINGFIELD LICE HEADQUARTERS."

Shebba's neighbors asked Mayor Paul Redfern to have her locked up. In August of 1978, she went to jail before being sent to Park Central Hospital for psychiatric evaluation. While on a weekend furlough from the hospital, she went back to her old neighborhood and walked around shouting "SHEBBA IS BACK!"
One of the neighbors snitched to the Assistant Greene County Prosecutor, who revoked her furloughs. A judge, shortly thereafter, ordered Shebba to be transferred to the State Mental Hospital in Fulton. While waiting for her transfer, she hung herself in a closet with a bed sheet.

The News Leader tried to interview neighbors, but many would not speak to the reporter. One neighbor, who said she never had problems with Shebba, blamed the other neighbors and the assistant prosecutor. Shebba's psychiatrist said he thought the prosecutor's office was over zealous, while the prosecutor's office said they believed that she was "a threat to the community."

A neighbor was quoted in the News Leader as saying "We didn't want her to die." It was a sad ending to a story that started with the same recurring theme that all problems start with - the Ozarker's repressed sexuality and there need to find "an enemy." Was Shebba "a threat to the community" or just to her nosy neighbors? Only God knows that.

The community has a problem with thinking that someone is "the enemy" or "a threat" to "the good life we have in the Ozarks." If Shebba was such "a threat" how come only those who dealt with her in someway remember the details and some of those feel she got raw treatment. Most current Springfieldian's have never heard of her and even some old timers memories of her are vague as to what she did.

I'm sure some people will be upset by this post. They will go into the entomology of some of the words I used in this piece or find a neighbor who "still has nightmares about Shebba" or call me "an unpleasant coward" because I "call people names" (That is like the pot calling the kettle black).

You might say Shebba the Belly Dancer was the original SUPER-VILLAIN OF THE OZARKS!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

DOES SPRINGFIELD STINK?

I want to address something that is not being talked about on either KSGF or KWTO. It's something that is not being written about in the News Leader. None of the TV stations have reported on this. I going to say this delicately yet in terminology that even a small child could understand: SPRINGFIELD SMELLS LIKE POTTY.

The area where it stinks the most is Sunshine and Highway 65. However, in the last week I have noticed this stink now covers an area from Sunshine and Hwy 65 to about Battlefield and Lone Pine.

It is obviously a problem with the city sewage system that needs to be fixed. It is really bad on hot days. I'm sure some of our typical Springfield cranks will start in with the old "It-will-cost-the-taxpayers-money" garbage they start in with when any improvements are needed in the city. Think about this folks, DO WE WANT OUR TOWN TO SMELL LIKE A TOILET? Something is wrong and it needs to be fixed.

Springfield Has Plenty of Porn in 1978

This ad appeared in the Springfield Daily News in 1978.

Gay Xmas on Park Central Square in Springfield, MO 1959

I had to post a bit of this Woolworth's ad from a 1959 Springfield News Leader. I was hoping to see how many people's heads exploded. I bet some will write the News Leader, upset that they printed a "gay" back in the 50's. I bet this will get the phones on KSGF buzzing (the fine folks over at KWTO-AM have better things to do this week).

I should note that as mentioned in the Cranks post, women's panties were a dollar and Milk of Magnesia was sixty cents. I should also mention to Busplunge that the item he got a kick out of was a brand name, Child's Razor Blades, not childs razor blades (For little shavers?).

Bob Palmer News Leader Cartoon 1959 - City Council Meeting

My roommate (who is also my twin brother - I'm the evil twin you always hear about) found this Bob Palmer cartoon in a 1959 News Leader. I think the idea of a speaker at city council exaggerating things is funny, but then I realize the character maybe trying to get improvements on the drainage system which as you know is one of my pet peeves.

Either way it shows somethings never change, except Jason isn't there to tell us which councilman has the best tie. The way Palmer drew the city council it looks like they didn't have any necks.

KBUG Magazine Ad from 1980

KBUG was a radio station in Springfield many moons ago. It was at 1060 AM where KBFL AM is now. In this ad that ran in Springfield magazine in January of 1980, they are promoting their news format. They had also been "Music of Your Life" (as KBFL is) and a disco format. This ad is creative however it has two flaws. It stereotypes the other stations listeners (which can be okay) and it is aiming at advertisers rather than listeners. BTW, I'd like to dance with Ms. Grinder.

Have a Great Weekend (with the Weekend Girls)

A Studio ad from April of 1977 for a film called the Weekend Girls. Sorry that there isn't a listing on IMDB for this. I'm also sorry it is crooked.

I'd like to thank Jason (of Life of Jason) and Busplunge for mentioning my blog on their blogs this week. Busplunge found both Les Crane's Desdiderata and National Lampoon's Deteriarata (sp) on You Tube.

KY 3's Fred Miller Passes Away

If you grew up in the Ozarks, you remember Fred Miller and his OP art-flashing-animated weather map on KY 3. Mr. Miller died this morning at age 86. He was a weather man on KYTV from 1961 to 1995. Here is KY 3's tribute complete with some great video (watch for the help he gives Joe Hickman on sports).

But Virginia Is For Lovers & We Are The QUEEN CITY

MSNBC has a story about how the governor of South Carolina and others are upset about these ads which appeared around the time of the Gay Pride festivities in the U.K. and elsewhere. A state tourism employee resigned over this. I doubt any gay people wanted to visit Civil War battlefields in South Carolina. There is also the language barrier because this turned off many junior high kids who read "South Carolina Is So Gay" and thought "South Carolina is boring stuff my parents would like."

Personally, I think Amro Worldwide should partner with Springfield Convention and Visitors Bureau. The posters can read "THEY DON'T CALL US THE QUEEN CITY FOR NOTHING!"

Back By Popular Demand - A Studio Ad

I haven't had the time to post any of these. This ad for Let's Play Doctor (Imaginative title, duh) comes from an issue of the Springfield Daily News from April 1977. This ad looks cheap. It is like the theater called the newspaper and said "Run a picture of a beautiful girl and write the title in with a Bic Banana marker." Remember, Desdinova likes to remind people of Springfield's naughty past. I'd also like to open a "family friendly" adult theater (that also serves cashew chicken).

If You Don't Agree With Sarah Overstreet On This One, You Can Drown Yourself

I know I have given Sarah Overstreet a hard time about a few of her columns, but her column in Sunday's News Leader was about one of my big complaints about Springfield - the flooding problem during the rains. I have complained about the streets flooding during the slightest rainstorm since 1987. Usually, falling on deaf ears or having some Ozarker tell me "We don't want to pay the taxes to fix it."

My parents attended a funeral here in town on June 13th. It rain quite a bit that day. They told me they would never again doubt me when I said the streets of Springfield flood when it rains.

Sarah suggest that the resistance needs to stop: "The scenario again is as follows: Old infrastructure, lots of old and new problems to be fixed, and virtually no funds in comparison to need. If you care about your fellow citizens and don't want to see them crying outside their houses and picked up by fire-and-rescue units, you're going to have to give up some greenbacks. It won't be much per resident, but we've got to push the issue and be willing to follow it up with "yes" votes.

This is one time where the "we already pay too much taxes" argument just doesn't wash. Don't want to help? Tell that to the guy sitting in the pew with you next Sunday, who's been up all night with a bucket bailing out his basement."

Of course, in the comment under this column on the website, some idiot is claiming the photos of flooding where "doctored" by the News Leader. Well, then there are doctored photos on the TV station websites and well as the Remembering Springfield MySpace site. There is a photo over at Ebbett's Field of a guy kayaking down Walnut Street.

Ms. Overstreet says she will have more articles on this in the coming weeks. Good. Here is MY suggestion if you feel as strongly about this as I do.

1. Carry a whiffle ball bat with you on the days we have rain.
2. Bring up the streets flooding in conversation.
3. If someone tells you that it will cost tax payers money and we pay too much taxes to fix it, you have Desdinova's permission to HIT THEM UPSIDE THE HEAD WITH THE WHIFFLE BALL BAT! Or you could...
4. Take them outside to the nearest flooded area and "baptise them" until the "believe" we need to overhaul the drainage system. Or...
5. Just ask them the old Bill Cosby line, "How long can you tread water?"

What is it going to take to solve this problem? Loss of property or life. How long can we tread water?