WHAT HAPPENED TO POKING FUN AT SQUARES?

The New Adventures of Desdinova the Super Villain of the Ozarks: WHAT HAPPENED TO POKING FUN AT SQUARES?: Over time the portrayals of certain groups of people have changed over the years. You can see many horrible politically incorrect images i...

THE REASON A NATIONAL ANTI-BULLYING LAW NEEDS REPARATIONS FOR VICTIMS

As you know from reading this blog, I believe we need a national law to deal with the bullying problem. In November, I wrote a post about how I feel that there needs to be a strict federal anti-bullying law. This law should also require the bully and his/her family to pay reparations to the victim.

Some people would say, "Desdinova, why would you believe such a thing is necessary?" My reason has a name: Donny Dickweed (pictured above).

Donny was both a jock and a preppy. His grandfather was the president of the local bank and his family owned a company that made recliners and mattresses. Donny picked on both me and my "good twin brother." As a matter of fact, Donny Dickweed is one of the models for the bad guy, Johnny Waldorf, in my "good twin brother's" novel, Real George.

What is Donny Dickweed doing today? I saw his profile on Facebook and he lives in a large beach house in Florida with a hot wife. He is in real estate and is (of course) a Republican. Meanwhile, I live in a small apartment and make minimum wage, even though I have two college degrees and work in the mass media.

I feel every time somebody buys a recline or mattress, I and my "good twin brother" should get at least 75-percent of the profit to make up for all the "heart-checks," "pink bellies" and "Does-this-hurt?" sessions we were forced to endure from this guy. I also want to note that he didn't just pick on me and my "good twin brother" but other students both male and female. I once saw him choke a female student until she nearly passed out. He also called Eunice Moneymaker "zit face" until she cried.

There were very few teachers and administrators who would stand up to this jerk, because his family were very prominant in the community. His grandfather has a monument to dedicated to him or something like that. Donny was allowed to get away with this sort of behavior because of his family's money and power.

If you are wondering, neither I nor my "good twin brother" are friends with Donny Dickweed on Facebook. Eunice Moneymaker is but, as I have pointed out before, Eunice didn't have good taste in men or she would have went steady with me.

The fact is one never forgets the scars left by a bully, however if the bully and his family had to pony up some dough to the victim (75 percent of every recliner and mattress sold), the pain might hurt less.

THE GOOD THING ABOUT FACEBOOK REMOVING OSAMA bin LADEN

ABC News reports that there was an Osama bin Laden fan page on Facebook. Facebook took it off. This is good, because every self-righteous dork I went to high school with would have wanted me to join a "Tell Facebook to remove the Osama bin Laden Fan Page" or "1,000,000 People Against Osama bin Laden Being on Facebook."

Of course, opinions like this are why I'm considered the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I REMEMBER YOU FROM SCHOOL - YOU WERE A PAIN THEN TOO

This is a response to a post on a weenie blog a few weeks ago. It was a slam to people of my political persuasion. This person tried to explain that her political ideology was better than mine. The more I read the more I realized not only why I’m proud to be a liberal, but who most of the conservative people my age are. I have also noticed this by the people who have friended me on Facebook from high school.

Conservatives are those people we didn’t like in junior high and high school. You know the ones I’m talking about. They were not necessarily the popular kids. They were the ones who wanted to be more popular than the popular kids.

Granted, I wanted to be the most popular kid in school but on my own merits such as my hip and cool taste in music, movies, humor and looks (Okay the last one was a stretch). These people were obsessed with grades and achieving notoriety.

There is nothing wrong with excelling, but these people rubbed it in your face that they had better grades than you, that they were the president of a club or on a sports team. However, if someone achieved more than these people, they had their parents go to the teacher, then to principal, then to school board and get some changes made. Usually, a good teacher or coach lost their job, because they did some good like give everyone an “A” or allow a lowly student like myself to be in the spotlight rather than the ‘over-achiever’ or allowed wimpy me play on their team in P.E.

Also these people were the ones who made fun of you to your face. However, if you have a good come back for them, it became “major incident.” Daddy & Mommy would go to the Principal and we would be forced to apologize along with spending time in detention (Speaking of which, if you still can't grasp the kind of people I'm talking about, think of the characters played by Molly Rigwald and Emilio Estivez in The Breakfast Club).

These people usually quit college and said it was because “The professors were liberal.” Actually it was a combination of daddy & mommy weren’t around to fight their battles and partying. See, in junior high/high school these people were always president of S.A.D.D or Teen Action or some other self-righteous, preachy group. They lectured me on how my love of heavy metal, punk and 60s psychedelic music would lead me to drug abuse. Then it turns out these people drank themselves out of SMSU or Mizzou or Drury Or Evangel.

These days those people tell you how much they make, how much their house is worth, how many well-disciplined kids they have and how many vehicles they have. THEY DON’T REALIZE WE STILL DON’T CARE! I have over 3000 CDs and about 200 DVDs. I would like a wife and kids, but the hours I work I wouldn’t have time to spend with her.

I also get paid very little, have lousy health insurance and the industry I work in has been taken over by large money-grubbing corporations that are only interested in making stars out of right-wing scumbags.

Yes, I believe in equality, but you people never did. You are still only interested in one thing...yourself. That is why I never liked you people in school. That is why I was and still am considered the Super Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

BTW, if the former governor of Alaska wants to complain about me using her photo in this post on her Facebook page...I’ll sue her butt off!

THE OZARKS HAS A SPANKING FETISH

This post has been coming for a long time, but some things I noticed this week have brought this subject to my attention again. The Ozarks has a sick and twisted love of spanking.

Last summer, I was in a fast food place eating here in Springfield. At the table next to mine was about three couples, who were around my age. These were the people who were big into screaming "rules" at their kids like a Marine Corp D.I. "Don't run! Don't touch! Don't make noise! Don't breath!"

These people were talking rather loud, so everyone in the place could hear them, on how they "enjoyed" being spanked by their parents. These people were loudly letting the people in this fast food joint (and probably most of Springfield) that they against "time outs." This woman began breathing heavy while telling about how she enjoyed it. This one guy said "he liked the smell of his father's belt." He then became very giddy as he began telling about how many "lashes" he would get and his eyes began rolling back in his head. I left because I was afraid he was going to ejaculate on me and all the other people in the place.

• I'm seeing more and more of this kinky stupidity going on with in this community. Several people I know on Facebook joined a group called "My Parents Didn't Give Me Time Out."


• I stumbled upon a blog called "Chicks on the Right" by two women "who don't believe in time-outs." I think that is a veiled code for "we are professional dominatrixes."


• The MSU post-game show disintegrated into a Chuck Booms rant against parents that give their kid time outs. Chuck screamed into the microphone that he enjoyed being spanked. He thinks more parents need to spank their kids because he was spanked as a child. Why would anyone take parenting advice from this guy? He wears green shoelaces and talks about how much he likes Liza Minnelli.


• A few years ago, when Ron Davis was the host of Morning-line on KWTO was when the Domminc James death occured. Many of the idiots who called in to argue with Ron said the "gubermunt ain't got no rite to tayl me I kain't spank my kids." Ron didn't say that spanking should be banned. On the other hand, I DO THINK SPANKING YOUR KIDS SHOULD BE A CRIMINAL OFFENCE!

Let me explain why? My parents didn't spank me because a I was a pretty good kid. If my father or mother raised their voice at me, I broke down in tears. However, I went to a Republican/Sourthern Baptist run gulauge called Mark Twain Elementary in Lebanon, MO. The principal was Betty Chisim Moore, who walked the halls with an inch thick paddle. She also had an inch thick growth of hair on her legs. She looked like a refridgerator with legs and a face like those old women in the Far Side cartoons. The school had a lot of silly type rules like that could accidentally be broken by nice little kids like me. This was so she could have the pleasure of giving at least 50 spankings a day.

I'm sure though Betty Chisim Moore is in Hell giving topless lap dances to guys like Attila the Hun, Cauigula, Hitler and Richard Nixon. If you knew what Mrs. Moore looked like, this image would be enough to make you become a perfect Christian and avoid Hell at all cost.

This woman spanked me once. SHE WAS IN THE WRONG TO PUNISH DESDINOVA! I WAS SMARTER THAN HER AND ALL THE ADULTS IN LEBANON.

But I think this sick and twisted fetish these Ozarkers have with spanking needs to stop folks. Your kids will turn up warped like Chuck Booms instead of cool like me. Of course, opinions like this are why I'm the Super-Villain of the Ozarks!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I'M A VILLAIN BUT SHE IS A HERO???

There was an incredibly stupid letter in the Springfield News Leader a few days ago by a woman who bragged about deleting her kids MySpace and Facebook accounts. There were people in the comments section saying "Good for you," "Way to go," and "I applaud you stance."

This is what is wrong with Springfield and the Ozarks. A woman who deletes her kids MySpace and Facebook friends is considered a hero, but anonymous blogger who pokes fun at talk radio scumbags, weenie-bloggers, tea-baggers, right-wingers and cranky adults is considered "a bad guy." This is another example of what I call Ozarks Correctness.

Personally, I think what this woman did is CHILD ABUSE, just like not allowing you kids to watch cartoons or listen to rock music. They should put people like this in prison. Of course, opinions like this are why I'm considered the SUPER VILLAIN OF THE OZARKS!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

STUPIDEST THING POSTED ON FACEBOOK

A well-meaning friend sent me an invitation to a cause on Facebook. Now I have no problem supporting causes that are non-partisan or dealing with public safety issues, but after reading the comments on this by supporters I decided not to join.

One comment struck me as one of the stupidest statements that a person could ever make. Some bonehead posted, "I don't remember where I was when I heard that Michael Jackson died, but I will always remember where I was on 9-11."

Well Dumb-bell, Michael Jackson died in June. I was at work producing a local sports call-in show. HOW COULD YOU NOT REMEMBER WHERE YOU WERE THREE MONTHS AGO??? DO YOU HAVE ALZHEIMER'S OR ARE YOU A METH & MOONSHINE ADDICTED REDNECK WITH NO TASTE IN MUSIC???

I wish Facebook would remove both the Michael Jackson-haters and the President Obama-haters from Facebook. Of course, opinions like this are why I'm considered the SUPER-VILLAIN OF THE OZARKS!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

DOES FACEBOOK ONLY WANT RIGHT-WINGERS?

I finally decided to get a Facebook account even though I'm still not crazy about it. I believe some of my fears about it may be right - it is a nest of conservatives and people who didn't like me in high school. I ought to report these people to MIAC.

People are always wanting you to join some conservative cause which, of course, I'm not interested in. Plus there are these personality quizzes, which are usually harmless stuff like "Which Brady Bunch Character Are You" (I hope I'm Vincent Price living in a cave in Hawaii or the Guy Who Took Marcia's Virginity).

One of the quizzes is called The Political Meter. The questions are poorly written with bad multiple choice answers that seems to be slanted against anyone to the left of Rush Limbaugh. They are actually sound like some bad stereotype of a progressive thinker perpetuated on local radio but Chucky Booms or Vincent David Jericho.

I took this quiz and this was what it said: "Your trendy bleeding heart beliefs may need some work. Try watching the O'Reilly factor and listening to right wing programs to balance your bombardment of liberal media. You may learn something about the country and yourself. "

Excuse the living Hell out me! I WILL NOT CHANGE MY BELIEFS SO I CAN FIT IN WITH A BUNCH OF BORING PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK! I'LL GO BACK TO MYSPACE WHERE THE COOL PEOPLE ARE!

I think Facebook needs to stop some of this right-wing recruitment garbage and be more like MySpace, with loud music players on every page and photos of drunk girls. Opinions like these make me the SUPER VILLAIN OF THE OZARKS!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I'M TOO COOL FOR FACEBOOK

Everywhere you go, you hear someone talking about Facebook. Most of what I have heard about Facebook was more positive than about MySpace. Also I was hearing this from people in my age group and older people as well. That should have been a tip off right there as to what it was. Facebook is boring and dull. It is like someone said "How can we make a website like MySpace more like a Polk Directory?"

My twin brother decided to start a profile since our high school class is getting a reunion together on Facebook (I might show up). I noticed that unlike MySpace that Facebook seems to be very anal and uniform. Then I looked at a few profiles and noticed they were not as much fun to look at as the MySpace profiles. There was NO MUSIC. What is a profile page with out your favorite Metalica song?

People on Facebook have to use their real names not fun monikers like on MySpace. I was on there for an hour and didn't see any pictures of drunk, single girls with there skirts stuck in the waistband of their pantyhose dancing on a table.

I believe Facebook was created for people too boring and dull to be on MySpace. It is for overachievers who seem to see everything as a part of their status. There are people on Facebook telling how much money they make, how good their grades were in high school, how much many cars and houses they own, how many kids they have, how many wives and concubines they have. Too many guys who list themselves as Republicans on there.

Granted, unlike MySpace, I didn't find any photos or profile of former male classmates in drag ("Hey, I don't remember this chubby blonde girl in my class - Omigod! That's Tommy Farquar.")

I think I'd rather be on MySpace because it is more like a fun college party and Facebook is like a bad Chamber of Commerce meeting. Of course, opinions like these are what make me the SUPER VILLAIN OF THE OZARKS!!! Mwu-HAHAHAHAHAHA!